HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU PUNY LITTLE BASTARD. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT COME BY ANY TIME AND I'LL WHIP YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE GIRL BODY INTO A SHAPE
if you microwave grape nuts, the milk turns sour. Doesn't happen with oatmeal. Go figure.
I started coming down with something yesterday and today I feel like sentient roadkill. Fever, chills, that fun feeling where even your skin and hair hurt. I spent the morning watching sasquatch documentaries in a sort of sniffling delirium.
If you mix grape nuts with milk and microwave them for 30 seconds or so, it softens them enough that they don't break your teeth or sit in your stomach like so much wet aquarium gravel.
If your teeth are too strong to worry about that, count yourself lucky.