Great, conversation's slowed down. That's where I come in.
GRISLYGUS PRESENTS:
Grisly Poetry
No one, nowhere, nothing to do
Had to find me someone to screw
thought i'd pick up some porn and see my sweetie too
two hours went by and my sweetie knew
that she'd get me to marry her too
Twenty years went by,
now I'm through
Turns out my old girl is a fuckin shrew
DON'T YOU DARE RUIN PUB'S FANTASY I AM A KNIGHT IN GUSSING ARMOR AND WILL DEFEND HIM TO THE LAST AND YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK WITH A GUY IN GUSSING ARMOR IT IS TEFLON-COATED AND MAKES YOU IMMUNE TO ASBESTOS FIBERS aw screw it, I don't care
It's no biggie, because literally everyone who tries to spell my name does this, but it's Samfucius (or SAMfucius, if you like. I sure do). But seriously, everyone adds the unnecessary O. I even did it when I first thought of the name, but it didn't look right, so I looked up Confucius and learned the correct spelling, which is not at all obvious.
And hey, at least I didn't have to hear you try to say it out loud. When people try to say that during a game over a headset, I always get 'Sam-fush-us' or my personal favorite (which happens a LOT), 'Sam-Fuck-You-I-Us', sometimes shortened to 'Sam-Fuck-Us'.
But it's a pet peeve, and if you could change that, I would be very grateful.
so it's settled, we all now have to call him something other than his actually name.
Here's some options to get everybody started
Samfillament
Samfred
Samfucks
Samobfuscate
Samfulicious
Samfatsalot
Samferrigno
Samfalamander
Samfotamus
Samlent Green
Samfugeddaboudit
Sam the Man
Sam the FIREman
Sammy Sosa
Samfuscious
Samfuscia