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Mocker
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: GCRT J1745-3009
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May 24th, 2006, 04:17 AM
TO SUM UP LONG POST: i changed anime to NASCAR, because he talked shit about it. kinda works.....
Quote:
I HATE NASCAR
There comes a time in any NASCAR fan’s life when they come across someone who makes a very bold and rash statement. This someone can be a friend, a parent, a significant other or even some random passerby on the street overhearing a conversation about how much better Earnhardt is than Gordon. The one thing they have in common is a single phrase; a simple utterance that, upon hearing, one can immediately tell they are, most likely, a mouth-breathing, anime watching, Pro-Wrestling enthusiast that only likes movies about tits, explosions and rare steaks.
“I hate NASCAR.”
We’ve all heard it, but we are all usually incapacitated by the social norm that is to respect other peoples’ opinions, no matter how mind-numbingly stupid they are. Thank you, Voltaire, you jerk.
‘Hating’ NASCAR is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard. Why? Because NASCAR is not a thing. NASCAR is a sport and I intend on defending this fact as well as I am able.
Parallels to NASCAR hatred are surprisingly easy to come by and all are just as silly as the other. If, for example, someone came up to me professing wildly of his utter hatred for country music, I would say, “Good on you man, you keep preachin’ your opinion!” Conversely, if someone came up to me and told me about his burning, seething fury for music in general, I would call him a loony. Actually, I’d probably say, “What? Why are you standing on my foot?” and promptly move him, his bib, and his caretaker away from my being.
For you see, gentle audience, that’s exactly what we’re comparing. NASCAR is not a thing so much as it is a sport for various genres to come to life. We, as NASCAR enthusiasts, have seen many different genres presented to us via FOX/NBC. From earnhardt sr and petty to gordon and bush, NASCAR is proven to not be a ‘thing’, but a vessel.
Don’t get me wrong - if I was discussing NASCAR with someone who happened to mention their disgust at watching waltrip, I would ask them why the felt that way, but I would not assume they were mentally handicapped. For this, you see, is a question of taste and I could understand one not appreciating mikey's sense of funny.
But the reasons for their loathing of the sport are never there. They are never logical, succinct or in any way structured. They almost always start with the award-winning phrase of, “I hate NASCAR,” but when pushed, end with a few rationalizations that are scant or, better yet, bordering on racism. I’ll go through some of the more common arguments I’ve heard and debunk them as the trite, aural diarrhea that they are.
“I hate NASCAR because it’s always stupid action with tons of tits and gore.”
The preceding is simply not true in any way, shape or form. For this argument, debunking would be a simple matter of showing one of the many ‘High school comedies’ or more mainstream NASCAR like Nextel or busch. There are many titles out there that do not rely on tits and gore to get a wonderful story across and they will continue to be produced because they are good cinema. See also, craftsman, weekly racing and arca.
“I hate NASCAR because of deformed people with blue hair and huge eyes and gigantic tits and ...”
Fair enough. You don’t appreciate a certain prevalent race-style in NASCAR. However, dumping on the sport as a whole is quite a leap of faith that even Indiana Jones would not perform - dying father or not. The problem with this beef is that it’s discarding an entire framework based on the conceptions of a few styles. I’m not a big fan of dale waltrip's work, but I’m not about to call all post-modern racing a heaping pile of multi-coloured, abstract excrement. NASCAR, like every other sport, comes in many flavours of art. datona is a prime example of a race that most people see and dislike - very well, may I then recommend martinsville or watkins glen? They are much more realistic in their presentation.
“I hate NASCAR because white trash people are sick weirdos”
You, good sir, are a fucking racist. Good day.
“I hate NASCAR because its borring”
I hear this one more than I would like and it pains me to no end hearing it. This mostly comes from the older generations - parents, relatives, et cetera - that you feel would normally give your other interests a good chance. In a sense, they’re right, although they are being slightly myopic. Yes, NASCAR is a car race, hence the name, but it should most definitely not be attributed to indy racing, whose connotations are much more childlike.
Some NASCAR is very adult oriented whereas others are clearly aimed towards children but, like any other racing, is broad enough to encompass cars and racing from a variety of audiences. The perfect rebuttal to this argument is a very simple, elegant one. Show them something. I would recommend something more mainstream, such as any datona race.
The fact of the matter is that NASCAR is not simply ‘one’ thing. It is a plethora of things. A mishmash of ideas; a palate of flavours, textures and smells; a gut-busting laugh and a tear-jerking sob; a loving, tender kiss between lovers and the brutal evisceration of an evil villain - it is all these things, because NASCAR is not a thing, it is a sport which has been used in every country around the world. So please, before you utter again how much you hate NASCAR, please think to yourself,
“Am I being a moron?”
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wow. kinda works. i took out the whole "punching back" thing. but for reals. why does everybody got to bag on NASCAR? | |
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