i saw a girl i had a crush on kissing my good friend
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and then i met maria bamford and we had dinner at the syfy restaurant
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then i spent most of the next day driving 85 mph on i-5 while tweeting
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i was pretty quiet. also i couldn't afford to pay for my overpriced cheeseburger so my friend had to help me pay for it
then my friend and that girl hugged me after we walked to my car
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tell me that really happened and isn't part of a joke from the previous page
<3 maria bamford
yeah i had kind fo a weird crush on her afterwards
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yeah i should have talked to her more, maybe i coulda got some voice actor pointers or some crazy person pointers idk
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Don't bother with crushes. ask them out to coffe, it's what I do, nocommittal enough to bail immediately if it turns out you'r rather be shtting out tin toothpicks than talking ot the girl any longer
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IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
plus her dad's like a dermatologist maybe she woulda had some skincare advice
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Don't bother with crushes. ask them out to coffe, it's what I do, nocommittal enough to bail immediately if it turns out you'r rather be shtting out tin toothpicks than talking ot the girl any longer
i'm not even sure i want a lady in my life anymore
they're probably too much dang work
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i still think that 'chemical imbalance' mental disorders are bullshit, since every single person ever i've known who has had one is sedentary and lives off of cool ranch doritos
this segues nicely into a discussion of my own mental deterioration. before, i was always depressed and hated myself. after diet and exercise, i now instead hate everyone else and am looking into becoming a sociopath, because that's apparently how everyone else has been doing it all along and i never got the memo.
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before, i was always depressed and hated myself. after diet and exercise, i now instead hate everyone else and am looking into becoming a sociopath, because that's apparently how everyone else has been doing it all along and i never got the memo.
i hate myself AND i hate everyone else
i win the hate contest
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so it's not rly a secret that i regularly visit /fit/ on the chons
it's apparently a common problem once you start working out to start judging others, especially women. i'm now acutely aware of how little effort women put into their bodies, and it pisses me off that they still pull tail. some of them actually get exponentially more praise the more cakes they eat!
it starts a slow burn of rage in my soul
yeah so anyway most women aren't attractive to me anymore because i can see they're all flabby in unfeminine ways. i'm only attracted to fit guys in an artistic sense. this narrows down my interests to reasonably fit girls and emo boys, but i'm pretty sure i couldn't love the second group.