yeah so anyway most women aren't attractive to me anymore because i can see they're all flabby in unfeminine ways. i'm only attracted to fit guys in an artistic sense. this narrows down my interests to reasonably fit girls and emo boys, but i'm pretty sure i couldn't love the second group.
I know a lot of fitness-obsessed people (used to work in an office across from one of the worst), and I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with one. Which I guess is good because apparently I am unfemininely flabby to anyone who didn't sculpt the Venus of Willendorf thing.
I always carry a cucumber in my pocket because it attracts the ladies, but no idea what a sea cucumber in my pants would be like. Is it like shoved up my ass, or just floating around in my pants?
I forgot that we're living in internet land now and I could just google sea cucumber to see what they look like. Fucking kids have it so easy in school now. I used to have to go to a library and look in encyclopedias and shit. Now I can just type 'Sea cucumber dildo' and learn.
edit: After typing that, the ad at the top of the page was trying to sell me on seafood deals.
Shut up cumcuber. You make me think I'm typing it wrong. Just like people always do when I say Houston or human or huge. I pronounce those words with 'You' instead of whatever people say it like and I always get called on it.
Perhaps I am and nobody wants to say anything. But to be honest, my friends aren't the type of people who would hang around someone of the retarded persuasion, so that doesn't make sense. Even if it was for a laugh, they wouldn't. One time I did go out on a date with a girl who was mentally handicapped in some way. I met her on ok cupid. On the phone she sounded a bit weird, pronouncing things wrong and sounded a bit muffled, but I took that down to being nervous. Even after my roommate answered a call from her and told me "bitch might be retarded", I still proceeded. It was the an awkward 2 hours of bowling because she kept wanting to get all close and I didn't know her and was trying to get used to the fact that she was that way. So that's the story of the time I dated a retarded person.