Glowbaby, don't those star tats mean you're a high-ranking member of the Russian Mafia? And if so, can I have some money?
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"If honesty is the best policy, then, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Second is not all that bad."
-George Carlin
1. i wish i was russian because that would automatically make me 1,000,000x hotter than i already am
and
2. i wish i had money because then i could buy your soul and keep it all for myself
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porn is just babies as work-in-progress
remember: according to the findings of this message board, although you would be 1,000,000 times hotter in your youth if you were a russian, immediately upon hitting the age of 32 you would become 1,000,000,000,000 times less hotter