Fuck Spiders

[Sethomas]

I once took a psychological battery asking "Are you afraid of spiders?" I don't have any irrational fear of them, but I hate getting spider bites. So, I just answered "no" because I had just an aversion and not a fear. Well, a few days ago I got bit by a spider in my sleep on my fucking neck.



It looks like I got a hickie from fucking Nosferatu. Granted, it's not visible except when I wear a t-shirt or less, which at work I have to wear a t-shirt. It's totally a cockblock--nobody wants to talk to me because they think I'll drink their blood or give them leprosy.

Here's a close-up:



FUCK spiders.

[ItalianStereotype]

just throwing something out here, you know, take it or leave it, but you might want to get that looked at!

[Zomboid]

If it was a brown recluse spider, you're in for some pain :O

[Fathom Zero]

Or nothing at all!

[Sethomas]

I'm an anhedonic dysthymic, I'd be quite amused if I got taken down by a brown recluse in my sleep. Granted, the process wouldn't be pretty, but oh well.

I took those pictures a few hours ago, and it already looks better. My friend told me that she asked a pharmacist and was told that I should only seek medical help if it gets worse over the next three days.

[Guitar Woman]

I'm no expert or anything, but if it was a Brown Recluse I think you'd already be dead.

[Sethomas]

You're right. You're not an expert!

[DeadKennedys]

You don't die from a brown recluse bite, unless you let necrosis set in and an infection spread. If it was a bite from a venomous spider, he would have been dead days ago.

We have spiders like that here, but not brown recluse. I ran into some Wolf spiders in New Orleans, pretty big and nasty,

If you have a free infirmary just to get checked out, I would go. I know a thing or two about spider bites. The thing that worries me is the discoloration in the middle. It appears to be a strange tissue disruption, maybe hematoma. I would get it checked, what's the worst that could happen?

[Guitar Woman]

I guess I was misinformed, because I was under the impression that a Brown Recluse bite would kill you at ridiculously quickly.

[DeadKennedys]

There are only 27 spiders that have caused human fatalities, and only two or three that will kill you quickly. And the black widow, considered the most deadly, well, only 1% of victims die from it because of advanced medical technology.

Brown Recluse bites begin with pain and swelling. As the swelling grows so fast, skin begins to slough off, internal bleeding can begin (hematoma, like I think I see in Seth's pics), and in the worst cases, necrosis (death of the skin); in that case, the'll scoop out your zombified flesh with a melon baller. Charming, huh?

Pain is so intense that you can't do anything, but the real danger is neglecting it. If it's on your leg, you'll have a huge disgusting painful scar. If it's on a joint, you could lose mobility. And there's always a risk of infection.

[Big McLargehuge]

i am no expert either, but i did google "Most venomous spider in the world" and the most venomous is the Brazilian wandering spider and the most dangerous is the Australian funnel web spider.

[Supafly345]

Now I know you totally just internet'd that DeadKennedys. Because if you knew anything from anything you would have described a hematoma as a bruse and not internal bleeding. YOU ARE BUSTED.

[Sethomas]

Update!

The day before having taken that picture, I decided that I should invent my own strategy to defeating the spider bite rather than consult any insight that man's millennia of written history has to say about dealing with spiders. It's more fun that way.

I decided that the necrotic tissue was probably going to perpetuate the presence of venom in the area, and observation told me that it was functionally beyond repair and thus should best be removed so that new skin could grow in its place.

So, I took a loofah and scrubbed the hell out of the black skin. Scrub scrub scrubby dub dub. Eventually I got most of it off, at which point I splashed tons of rubbing alcohol on it followed by generic Neosporin. The next day (Friday) much of the blackness had returned, just not quite as intense. So, back to scrubbing, isopropyl, and antibiotic. I think this is about the time I took the pictures above. I got even more of the blackness out, and left it at that for the time being. I made a policy that any scabbing that happened would be picked off until it congealed into what I judged to be a healthy color. Much of Friday was spent scratching at it. Friday night it started to scab over with what I thought was a healthy color, so I doused it in isopropyl and antibiotic ointment. Then sleep.

Saturday morning I woke up to see that my pillowcase was covered in green slime, so I checked my neck and virtually all the inflammation was gone. VICTORY WAS MINE AT THIS POINT. Since then it's been gradually drying out and healing up, so I think this medical file is shut. My father told me to observe myself for the next few weeks to see if I develop arthritic symptoms, because that's sometimes a manifestation of spider venom.

Properly speaking, all spiders are venomous on account of that being how they kill their prey, it's just a matter of its potency on humans. A few days ago I thought it was possible for this to have been a brown recluse, but that it had gone away after just a few days should tell me that this was probably a wolf spider.

I hate wolf spiders because they're so big, so I associate them as having big painful teeth. I don't know how true that is. I once was shoveling manure in the barn at home and I uncovered a freshly-hatched nest of wolf spiders, it was like an entire wall was just crawling with hairy little bastards. That's another thing about them--they're hairy, and I tend to think that non-human hairy things are dirty. And another time I was working in a crawl space putting braces on an addition to our house, and there were probably half a dozen wolf spiders crawling around my body. I didn't get bit those times, so I have no idea why this time some wolf spider decided to share my bed and then thank me with a vampire hickey.

[Terra]

Well, you've taken care of yourself right proper. But have you cleaned house and rid yourself of said teeny beastie?

[DeadKennedys]

Originally Posted by Supafly345

Now I know you totally just internet'd that DeadKennedys. Because if you knew anything from anything you would have described a hematoma as a bruse and not internal bleeding. YOU ARE BUSTED.

A bruise is a mild form of hematoma. When I think internal bleeding, I think of a punctured organ. When you get a nasty spider bite and all that blood wells to the surface in a nasty red dot, I'm calling that a hematoma.

[DeadKennedys]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

That's another thing about them--they're hairy, and I tend to think that non-human hairy things are dirty.

Mammals suck amirite? Anyway, grats on getting rid of that nasty thing.

[AChimp]

You're supposed to get someone to suck the venom out of the wound.

[Terra]

Originally Posted by AChimp

You're supposed to get someone to suck the venom out of the wound.

That only works for the first thirty seconds of the bite. If you're alone, the best you can do is hook up with a shop vac. Nobody has a shop vac in their residence unless they are a mechanic.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

um....I have a shop vac, and I'm not a mechanic.
I have all sorts of power tools and junk in my garage....and spiders.

[Terra]

I only have a Hoover in my garage.

[Undead]

Sorry about the spider bite Sethomas! Glad you're okay now. I have no problem with them the 8-legged beasties if they're outside but the second they set one of their many feet inside my house it's go time!

I got bit on the chin by a Brown Recluse my first night living in Florida. Still got one more year before my driver's license expires and I won't have to show that fuckawful pic of myself rockin' some necrosis when I get carded.

[DeadKennedys]

On your CHIN? Jesus H. Christ...

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

So, I took a loofah and scrubbed the hell out of the black skin. Scrub scrub scrubby dub dub. Eventually I got most of it off, at which point I splashed tons of rubbing alcohol on it followed by generic Neosporin. The next day (Friday) much of the blackness had returned, just not quite as intense. So, back to scrubbing, isopropyl, and antibiotic. I think this is about the time I took the pictures above. I got even more of the blackness out, and left it at that for the time being. I made a policy that any scabbing that happened would be picked off until it congealed into what I judged to be a healthy color. Much of Friday was spent scratching at it. Friday night it started to scab over with what I thought was a healthy color, so I doused it in isopropyl and antibiotic ointment. Then sleep.

I really wish you'd taken pictures. I have this strange fixation on skin pustules, as do some of these like minded people over on livejournal.

http://community.livejournal.com/zit_fetish/

Its not a sexual thing, its just a weird fascination with them.

[Evil Robot]

It could have been worse, a man named Spider could have bitten you on the penis.

[WhiteRat]

Clearly that spider has shown that it has the killer instinct needed to dominate the spider fighting circuit. I recommend you corral that thing and harness it's abilities for your fiscal benefit.