Amber's Love advice..

[kellychaos]

Before I proceed, I just have to ask how much more stupid this thread may get. I do have time restraints, you know.

[dkathrens77]

About the cramping: Cramps in the extremities are often due to not being properly hydrated (drink more water, eh?) or an eletrolyte deficiency.

So take a walk on the wild side and drink some Gatorade before sex. For added enjoyment, encourage your partner to give you a Gatade enema as part of foreplay. For those women who don't ejaculate at orgasm, this is the next best thing.

[dkathrens77]

I realize I am positioning myself for mockery, but I wanted to add my two cents worth on the "female ejaculation" issue.

My latest wife (#3, hopefully the final one) is one of those rare (the first in my experience anyway) women who ejaculate at orgasm. She also has amazing muscular control, but that's another subject...

I've always felt it was my duty as a man to provide my woman with an orgasm (Ladies first) during sex. After years of wondering "Do women fake orgasm?" this is like the clouds parting to let the sunshine through! Of course there are other, more subtle indicators of a geinuine orgasm (like that joyful expression they get on their faces afterward, and then fall asleep still wearing). But there's NEVER any question with this woman!

If she doesn't achieve orgasm from from any variation of penis-in-vagina sex, she will let me get my jollies and then ride my leg like a stair bannister until she comes. I love that!

And after feeling slightly selfish all these years for wanting a woman to swallow MY cum, I decided to reciprocate. When I perform oral sex on her, and she comes in MY mouth, I do my husbandly duty and drink it down!

Who said here that it tasted slightly sweet? I find that it tastes VERY salty. It is NOT urine because it comes from inside the vagina and has no smell, even when it remains on the bedclothes for a day or two.

All right people, let the mockery begin. But some serious discussion would be more welcome.

[Dole]

You drink yer bird's piss, you do

[nothing4buddha]

he thinks he's lucky that his woman is losing control of her vag and pissing all over him.

[Emu]

Jesus Christ, how old are you dkathrens?

[Helm]

seventy-seven years of age yes

[Helm]

Look here's a quick way to know if your woman is pissing on you. Before sex, make her go to the bathroom and pee all she has to pee. When she's done, tell her to clean up and come to bed. Put on some Barry White. Then take a gun and shoot her in the face. Proceed to brutally maim your genitals with a sharp bone fragment taken from her crushed cranium. Write dirty jokes on the walls with your blood, and then swallow a towel, or something.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

[Anonymous]

Helm should have his own talk radio show