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  #26  
Emu Emu is offline
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:11 PM       
Quote:
How to Celebrate Your Daughter's First Period

Congratulations on doing your part to give your daughter a positive attitude towards her changing body during puberty.
Steps

1. Cuddle up and tell her all about your own experience ~ she will love to know and it will be a special bonding time.
2. Plan her favourite meal at home ~ decorate the table with red napkins/glass beads/red candles!
3. Take her out for a meal in an expensive restaurant.
4. Send her her first bouquet of flowers by special delivery.
5. Give her a single red rose.
6. Purchase a piece of jewelry with a red stone or ruby. This will be treasured and could even become an heirloom, passed down from mother to daughter for generations to come!
7. Make up a 'First Period' gift basket. Some items you could include:
* A ruby necklace, ring or bracelet
* A red candle
* Samples of Sealed Sanitary Items ~ eg: Tampon/Panty Liner/Sanitary Towel in a little gauze bag
* Deodorant
* Pretty underwear
* Hand towel
* A Wheatbag (for abdominal pains)
* Purchase a good book on Periods/Puberty that your daughter can read
* Cleansing Lotions/Wipes
* Soap
* Cosmetic Bag and Make-Up
* A Journal (see external link below for a free one!)


External Links

* http://www.brainegames.com/puberty.htm
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  #27  
Sam Sam is offline
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:12 PM       
http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy

Quote:
How to Flirt with a Guy

Learn how to flirt step by step. Impress the guy you like, and play flirtacious games! Show the guy you like him, and you may be surprised when you find out that he likes you too.
Steps

1. Approach him and start a conversation, but don't make it too obvious that you like him. If he approaches you, look him in the eyes as a sign of affection and confidence.
2. Try to touch him whenever you can, on his arm or wherever else. Don't make it too obvious.
3. Play with your hair or clothing.
4. Talk sexy around him to get his attention, and lick your lips, but don't change your voice too much. This can be a turn-off. Instead, just sweeten your voice a little, make yourself sound happy.
5. Once you've got his attention, look him in the eyes and smile. If he smiles back, slowly look down, and repeat. Guys like girls who can show off their smile.
6. Don't make it too obvious when he's around his friends, unless you know that he likes you.
7. Laugh with him, and help him to feel comfortable around you.
8. Find a reason to whisper something in his ear.
9. Don't try to be someone you aren't. You attract the kind of person you are. Don't pretend to be a sportsy type when you're really a poet.
10. Talk about what you have in common, and ask questions about what you don't. People love to feel like they're interesting. (And heck, they probably are, too.)
11. Say his name a lot. This shows you're interested in who he is. Give him a nickname, so you two have a little inside joke to share. Most likely, he'll give you one, too!


Tips

* Don't flip your hair too much, instead find a small stray chunk and twist it around your fingers.
* Try not to make it obvious that you are flirting.
* Don't try too hard to impress him.
* Be yourself, and add some flirting to go with it.
* Don't flirt with someone else's boyfriend or husband it only leads to trouble.
* Auto-erotic touching (touch your lips, neck, chest with your fingers or hands) - it is something people do subconsciously when they like you, but you can manipulate it.
* Boss him around or call him names (in a nice way); anything to make him notice you. He won't take offense to the name calling if he likes you!
* Whenever he's around, make sure you're having fun (laughing, etc) so that he'll want to join in.
* Change your tone of voice when you're around him.
* Take a break every now and then to leave him wanting more.
* Massages are always nice.
* Tell him you had a dream about him. If he finds this kinda creepy, then just say it wasnt 'about' you, but you were there!
* Don't apply lipstick, chapstick, or lipgloss in front of him.
* Tell him you'd like to see him again if leaving, or mention that you'd like to try one of his hobbies.
* Listen carefully to what he says, and let him know you were listening through your conversation.
* Remember what he mentions in passing (it's the little things that count!) and bring it up later as a question. For example, he says "I've got to go home, I'm helping my sister study for her exam tomorrow." Later, you ask, "How did your sister (call her by her name if you know it - it shows you can put two and two together!) feel she went in the exam?"
* Do your research. If he mentions that he loves baseball, ask him if he watched the game on the weekend, and know the score or something that happened so you can talk about it. If you don't know much about what he likes (e.g. Baseball), get him to teach you something about it - he will feel knowledgable and important, and it's the perfect excuse to spend time with him!
* Ask to borrow things, or for help with something, but don't be too clingy. Show him that you can handle things for yourself most of the time. This way he will be intrigued by your independence.
* Hint about a movie you'd like to see.


Warnings

* Be careful that he's not leading you on so he can make a fool out of you.
* Don't dress like a slut or skank, instead leave a little to the imagination
* Make sure he doesn't have a girlfriend who will be a snob to you, if she finds out you've been flirting with him. She will have the right to be a snob to you, you're invading her relationship.
* Certain boys can sometimes be very unfair! So be careful if you tell any of his friends!
* Boys act differently around their mates.
* If his friends don't like you but he does you shouldn't let him keep you a secret. this just shows that he isn't proud of his woman and you want someone who wants you for you and doesn't care about what others think. You don't have to rush to say that you're in love or not; so don't trap him.
* Don't pretend to be interested in something just for the sake of flirting - if you decide to make a move, it might mean you end up pretending to be someone you're not.


Related wikiHows

* How to Ask a Guy Out
* How to Get a Guy to Notice You
* How to Act Around a Guy You Like
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  #28  
Sam Sam is offline
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:15 PM       
http://www.wikihow.com/Read-and-Write-in-1337

Quote:
How to Read and Write in 1337

LEET (1337) is a written language or cipher used in e-mails, text messaging, and other electronic communication. The root of the term "leet" is the word "elite"--translated as 31337--and 1337 was initially developed as an exclusionary language: a way to encode text so that messages could only be read by the initiated. The defining characteristic of 1337 is substitution of symbols and numbers for letters (for example, in the term "1337," 1=L, 3=E and 7=T), but the language has also developed to include intentional misspellings, phonetic spelling, and new words. If you want to familiarize yourself with 1337, or if you're just curious about it, this article will explain the basics of how to read and write in this everchanging language.

Steps

1. Keep an open mind. 1337 isn't a static language like English or any other language! Reading 1337 can be difficult and the language may not always appear to make sense, especially since new words, random capitalizations and alternate spellings proliferate. You can learn basic guidelines for 1337, but there are no rules, and individuals alter the language to suit their own needs. It is important to keep in mind, however, that the same can be said for any language. All languages are living and changing; 1337 is simply very alive and changing quickly.
2. Think of the symbols as shapes and not as their meanings. For example, a 5 looks a bit like an S, as does a $, so either of these symbols (among others) could be substituted for an S. When writing in 1337, you can follow guidelines such as those below, you can use the same substitutions of symbols for letters that you see other people using, or you can make up your own substitutions.
3. Combine two or more symbols and numbers to make single letters, such as |= for F or |3 for B. Again, you will find some frequently-used combination substitutions, but don't be afraid to be creative when you're writing, and don't be discouraged if you come across something unfamiliar when you're reading.
4. Pay attention to context. If you can't figure out the meaning of a symbol, try to guess its meaning based on the letters (symbols) around it. This is a bit like playing hangman or Wheel of Fortune: you try to figure out the missing letter or letters by looking at the surrounding letters. The same can be said of whole words. If a word doesn't make sense, you might not be translating it right, or it might be unfamiliar slang. Try to guess its meaning by looking at adjacent words or the sentence which contains the word.
5. Familiarize yourself with common phonetic replacements. In addition to symbol-for-letter replacement, 1337 can include letters which substitute for other letters, sounds or words. For instance, f = ph, cks = xx, s = z or r = are. This practice is certainly not unique to 1337--you don't have to be a 1337$p34|<3r (leetspeaker) to figure out the phrase "i luv u."
6. Brace yourself for flagrant misspellings. Some, such as "kewl" (for "cool") are phonetic replacements, while others such as "teh" (for "the), or "ownt" (for "owned") have just grown into the language as an inside joke. Other variations, such as omission of vowels, are also common. "Creative" spelling is just part of 1337.
7. Learn new grammatical structures. 1337 users often deviate from standard English grammatical structures, and they have invented some grammatical devices of their own. For example, the suffix "0rz" can be added to a word to make it plural or to add emphasis, as in "r0xx0rz" for "rocks," where "r0xx" would substitute for "rocks". Another common suffix is "3d," used to indicate the past tense such that "rocked" becomes "r0xx0r3d," as is "7h47 r0xx0r3d" ("that rocked"). It has also become something of a convention to change verbs to nouns by preceding the verb with "the" or, especially, "teh."
8. Embrace acronyms. Though technically just chat-speak, the use of acronyms and abbreviations is common in 1337. There are a tremendous number of acronyms used in electronic communication, among them BTW ("by the way"), TTYL ("talk to you later"), and the ubiquitous LOL (generally meaning "laugh out loud"). Even the meaning of unfamiliar acronyms will probably become obvious if the letters are examined in context, for example ROFLBBQCOPTER ("ROFLBBQCOPTER") or ROFLB52BOMBER ("ROFLB52BOMBER"), and you can always make your own.
9. Expand your vocabulary. Though most of the "new" words in 1337 are simply misspellings of English words ("taht", for example, or "pwn"), some are actually new coinages, such as "nooblet"--this could be written, for example, as "n008137"--which denotes a "newbie," someone new to 1337 or something else. The best way to learn the vocabulary is to read a lot of 1337.
10. Adapt to inconsistency. Sometimes, you'll see people with 1337 "skillz," sometimes you'll see "5k1||5," and sometimes "$c1llz0r3d." Sometimes all three will be the same person writing in the same passage. There is a lot of inconsistency in 1337--get used to it.
11. cApItalizE at random. Random capitalization is arguably an integral part of 1337. Some writers employ a consistent method, such as capitalizing all letters except vowels or only ending letters, but many simply capitalize letters (where they are not replaced by symbols), whenever they want..
12. Practice reading 1337 and study the chart below. The only way to really learn 1337 is to absorb it by reading and writing a lot of it. You may find the chart useful, but due to the work of creative leetspeakers it is obviously incomplete.


1337 Chart

* Note:
o The commas are added to separate symbols
o The symbol | (Example: B = |3 ) is a "down-slash", or "pipe", and not a lower-case "L" or capital "i"
o The symbol ` (Example: T = 7` ) is not a standard apostrophe, but is a "Grave Accent" and is found on the tilde (~) key
o Also keep in mind that the use of /-/ for H for example, aren't used nearly as often as the normal letter in a quick conversation. To write an entire sentence this way would take three times as long, thus the quicker single symbol or letter substitutions are more often used.

* A = 4, /-\, @, ^, /\ , //-\\
* B = 8, ]3, ]8, |3, |8, ]]3
* C = (, { , [[
* D = ), [}, |), |}, |>, [>, ]])
* E = 3, ii
* F = |=,(=, ]]=
* G = 6, 9, (_>, [[6
* H = #, |-|, (-), )-(, }{, }-{, {-}, /-/, \-\, |~|, []-[], ]]-[[
* I = 1, !, |, ][, []
* J = _|, u|, ;_[], ;_[[
* K = |<, |{, ][<, ]]<, []<
* L = |,1, |_, []_, ][_
* M = /\/\, |\/|, [\/], (\/), /V\, []V[], \\\, (T), ^^, .\\, //., ][\\//][,
* N = /\/, |\|, (\), /|/, [\], {\}, ][\][, []\[]
* O = 0, (), <>, *, [[]]
* P = |D, |*, |>, []D, ][D
* Q = (,) or 0, or O, (Here the commas are necessary) [ [\] ] <- even better
* R = |2, |?, |-, ]]2 []2 ][2
* S = 5, $
* T = 7, +, ']', 7`, ~|~, -|-, ']['
* U = (_), |_|, \_\, /_/, \_/, []_[], ]_[
* V = \/ , \\//
* W = \/\/, |/\|, [/\], (/\), VV, ///, \^/, \\/\//
* X = ><, }{, )(
* Y = '/, %, `/, \j , ``//
* Z = 2, z, 7_


Tips

* Don't be afraid to go beyond your keyboard. You can open up a world of possibilities by using special characters, such as ©, ®, ¢, €, ¥, and £, in your 1337. If the application you're using provides a character map, you can use that to insert these symbols. Otherwise, you can make them in a word-processing application and paste them into another application (this often won't work, though), or enter them in HTML code (see external link), or just use the ASCII character escape sequence (hold down ALT and type the 4-digit ASCII code on your numeric keypad. i.e., ALT-0176 = ° ).
* Experiment with different amounts of 1337-ness when writing. It is technically possible to replace all letters in a word with other symbols, but then it becomes difficult to read and time-consuming to write. For example, "Saturday Night live is so funny!" can be translated to $47|_||2|)4% |\|19|-|7 |_1\/3 1$ $0 |=|_||\||\|%! at 100% 1337-ness (no original letters remain in the 1337 translation). At 50% the same phrase can be $475rP4% N19h7 |_1v3 1$ $0 ?|_|nn%! As you can see, the second translation is a little easier to read and write than the one before.
* One of the original uses for 1337 was to bypass filters for spam and obscenity (as in "pr0n" for "porn"), and while filters have made progress keeping up with 1337, it is still useful for that purpose, although the other members won't appreciate it.
* If you want to get really creative, you can download language packs or even get special keyboards (Cyrillic language keyboards, for example), to increase the number of characters you can use.
* While to date most 1337 has been based on English, it is increasingly spreading to other languages. Since it is not technically an independent language, but rather a code based on other languages, 1337 is incredibly versatile.
* Visit a 1337 translator and type in a few random sentences. Look at the letters from your sentence and compare them with what you get in the bottom. If you are able to change the percentage of 1337-ness, try it at 100% and compare, then try it at 75%, and 50%.
* It is very easy to change the setting so it shows 1337 on lots of websites. Its Good Practice. It works for Google, wikipedia, and lots more. (It may be called Hacker instead of 1337)

Warnings

* Use of 1337 on forums tends to annoy people and can get you banned. It is an indicator of your ignorance on most forums. Also, using 1337 to bypass spam filters is severely frowned upon.
* Creativity is fun and is rewarded in 1337 circles, but keep in mind that 1337 is still primarily a means of communication. Avoid making your 1337 writing completely incomprehensible. If nobody but you can read what you're writing, what's the point?


Related wikiHows

* How to Decode a Caesar Box Code
* How to Teach Yourself a New Language
* How to Write Bubble Letters
* How to Type a Different Language on Windows XP
* How to Speak Gibberish


External Links

* wikipedia on 1337
* How to insert special characters in HTML
* Microsoft parent's guide to 1337
* ECommerceTimes article on 1337
* 1337-English and English-1337 translator
* Ryan Ross' l33t sp34k g3Ner4+0r
* Online HTML leet speak translator
* Gooogle in 1337
* Urban Dictionary
* WHATIS
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  #29  
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:19 PM       
omg guys this site shares all the girl secrets and now i know if a girl is flirting with me! :O!
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  #30  
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:24 PM       
I THINK A LOT OF THE GUYS HERE NEED TO KNOW THIS FOR SOMEDAY IN THEIR LIFE!

http://www.wikihow.com/Unhook-a-Bra

Quote:
How to Unhook a Bra

This is much easier than people think. All bras function on the same basic mechanism, so if you learn how to unhook one kind, you shouldn't have much problem with any other.
Steps


1. Two straps wrap around the form, fastening in the back. There are usually three vertical columns of hooks and eyes, each column with between one and four pairs, depending on the width of the strap.The hooks fasten into the 'eyes', small semi-circular pieces of metal. To undo a bra, you must remove the hooks from the eyes.
2. If you are facing the woman's back, you can undo the hooks by simply pulling the straps apart, first pulling towards each other, then away at an approximately 45 degree angle. This will be fairly easy if you can see how they connect.
3. If you are in front of the woman, the same principle applies. You may have to push the straps closer together before pulling them apart since your view is obstructed. It may take a few tries - just try to get a feel for the connection and how to break it.
4. If you are the one wearing a bra, you have two options: you can either reach behind you, or take off the straps first and rotate the bra so the clasp is in front of you.
5. If the bra is behind you, put your arms behind your back, reaching from the bottom up. Grasp one strap in each hand. "Cross" the straps and when you feel the click of the eye releasing the hook, pull them apart.
6. If you rotate the bra in front of you, grasp the straps in each hand again, cross them, and pull them apart in the same way.
7. Optionally, if you fold the hook/eye clasp together, the open ends of the hooks will have rotated nearly 180 degrees, facing the other way, and then the elastic will pull the band apart instantly! (This can be done via a pinching action of one's fingers, even through a top, much to her astonishment.)
8. For the pinnacle of astonishment, one can unhook a bra with one hand as follows: facing the bra-wearer and using one's right hand, pull the top end of the strap (the hook end) to the right with your forefinger and simultaneously push the bottom end to the left. Once the hooks are free of the loops, release and "snap" the bra is ready to be shed. It helps to pull in toward the wearer's back slightly with the forefinger to move naturally with the curvature of the hooks. With a little practice, this is the easiest and quickest method.


Tips

* Don't be afraid to make more than one attempt. Many women still have to even after years of bra wearing.
* Don't be afraid to ask the woman whose bra you're removing for help. In most cases she won't mind, and getting a few tips or taking it off together can be more fun than a silent awkward struggle
* Get a bra, and practice, practice, practice! It gets easier with experience
* Nowadays, some bras even open in the front. So, if you have spent one hour following the above directions on a real life person to no affect, then simply rotate around to the front of the torso (where the interest lies anyway) and look between the cleavage. There should be a small plastic clasp. Put your thumb and forefinger of each hand on each side of the plastic with your forefinger between the bra and the skin. Now, move your forefingers toward each other and tada!


Warnings

* Never attempt to take someone's bra off if you are not absolutely sure she wants you to.


Things You'll Need

* Hands
* A bra
* Someone to wear it

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  #31  
Emu Emu is offline
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:28 PM       
Quote:
How to Become a Blonde

While your natural color may look great, and your clothes are all bought to match the color of your hair, you may just want to become a blond. A color change, can change your entire outlook and feelings about yourself. If you go from brunette to blond, you are making a drastic difference, and it may take you a few days to recognize yourself in the mirror
Steps

1. Look at the various magazines, and color charts, and decide what color you would like to become. There are many different shades. Select one that goes well with your skin tone.
2. Go to a beauty parlor that is reputable, and perhaps you have used to cut your hair.
3. Talk to the colorist, and ask her to color match various colors of blonde to your skin tone.
4. Ask her opinion about which shade she thinks would look best on you.
5. Return in a few days, after you have thought it over. Remember that once you become blonde, you cannot return immediately to your natural color.
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Emu Emu is offline
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:29 PM       
Quote:
How to Become Obedient to Your Parents

This was requested, so, I thought i would tell this person what they have to do.
Steps

1. This is simple, obey them, it is not rocket science, listen when they talk, don't sneak out, don't back talk, don't disobey them!


Tips

* I suggest that anyone that didn't already know this, please, please, listen to Dr. Laura on am 640 weekday afternoons
Who the hell requested this?
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:30 PM       
Quote:
How to Win a Swordfight
Swordfight
According to many popular post-apocalyptic movies (Six String Samurai, for one), someday we're going to run out of bullets. How are you going to survive when Hollywood's not there with Arnold Schwarzenegger or Mel Gibson? Read on.





Comment: Please note, much of this article is complete fantasy. Do NOT read this and expect to go swordfight, regardless of the circumstances. Even the basics of swordsmanship are far too complicated to sum up in a single article. If you are truly interested in learning, find a local dojo or contact ARMA(www.thehaca.com). All the books and videos in the world would never compare to proper instruction. Again, take this article with a grain of salt. There are a few fallacies/misinterpretations, but if you're seriously interested in the art of swordsmanship, then you probably aren't reading an online how-to article.

-HR

Steps

1. Draw your sword before you engage. We've all seen samurai movies where Miyamoto Musashi or his equivalent draws and kills in one slice, but unless you've had extensive training in the art of drawing a sword quickly, you shouldn't expect to be as successful as Musashi. It takes longer to draw a sword than it does to get hit. On the other hand, if your sword and scabbard are suitable for a quick draw, and you practice, this can be a great surprise attack.
2. Relax! It is perfectly understandable to tense up in combat, but you must make every effort to stay calm, keep the muscles loose, and regulate your breathing. If you are tight, you cannot act with speed, which can be fatal. In combat, seconds are priceless.
3. Assess the situation. Crafty fighters always strive to be aware of their surroundings, their assets and liabilities, and those of their opponent. Ideally, you should take note of the terrain and environment beforehand, and if you can, try to get an idea of how your opponent fights. Is he brave, or cautious? Skilled, or a novice? Judge every opponent differently. For instance, small opponents can frequently be overpowered, tall people have longer reach but often leave their legs exposed, etc. Everyone has a weakness. A little homework can enable you to devise a strategy to suit. That being said, it may be that you won't have time to come up with a plan, so try to do this as fast as possible.
4. Engage with care. If you charge in recklessly, especially against a trained fighter, he may just wait and let you impale yourself on his sword. By engaging carefully, you are able to maintain control and focus at all times. Be mindful of your posture, stance, weapon - and that of your opponent.
5. Have a strong defense. Missing one block or parry can be fatal, so protect yourself well. Maintain your sword in a position that runs from the bottom of your torso to the top of your head. This is a middle position, suitable for any skill level, that will enable you to respond to an attack with reasonable speed, and also gives you many angles for your own strikes.
6. Keep your weapon ready. Generally, your sword should be extended a comfortable distance away from your body, and toward your opponent's throat, or perhaps his eye. This is referred to as putting him "on point". It serves as a ward against an opponent (who must, after all, get through your sword first), and can be quite intimidating, especially to an inexperienced fighter.
7. Measure twice, cut once. Historically, in the vast majority of cases, a real sword fight was decided and ended with the first blow struck, and often took less than 30 seconds. Be sure of your attack, for it is likely that if you miss with your first strike, your opponent will take advantage, and end the fight himself with a fatal blow.
8. Maintain your distance. This depends largely on the weapons being used, but in general, if you are out of range of your opponent's weapon, he cannot harm you, and you can take time to plan and maneuver. If, however, you are within 6' or so, you must be prepared for instant action. Any closer than that, and the battle will already be over.
9. Remain calm and confident. Poise can decide a fight as surely as the sword, and is an effective stratagem. If you are nervous or frightened, your opponent may try to take advantage of your lack of confidence and attempt to goad you into making a fatal mistake. Cool warriors tend to make others wary, or even unsettled. You may also choose to show aggressiveness and intimidate your opponent instead, or even pretend to be scared, in the hope of lulling your enemy into making a fatal error.


Tips

* The art of the sword is this: to kill or incapacitate your opponent in the shortest possible time, with the least amount of effort. Everything else is secondary. Once you have engaged in combat, fight to win. This is the first and foremost rule of battle. Compassion, chivalry, and good sportsmanship are wonderful concepts, but if it's a choice between you or your enemy, the choice is obvious. Often, the fighter who is more willing to be merciless will be the one left standing after a battle. Sad, but true.
* Conserve your energy. It is well-known among veterans that a fight to the death takes an incredible amount of effort, so don't waste your time with fancy maneuvers or unnecessary motion. Your survival may depend on this.
* If possible, wear armor. Anything that extends your life past the first cut is a good investment. Be sure that it is well-fitting and durable. Be aware that while light armor gives you more freedom to maneuver and is easier to fight in, heavier armor can absorb more punishment.
* Take good care of your equipment. Well-maintained weapons and armor are far less likely to let you down when it matters most.
* Choose your weapons carefully, and if possible, carry more than one weapon. Weapons bend, break, or become wrong for the circumstance. Be sure to carry a combination of weapons that can serve in multiple situations, and that complement each other as well as your strengths.
* Remember that every part of your sword is a weapon, including the point, each edge, the handguard, and the pommel. Along with this your body is a weapon and anything around you can be a weapon. There is no reason a swordfight should be restricted to your blade. Use whatever you can to win.
* If at all possible, avoid fighting more than one person. If you must fight many opponents, try to maneuver them so that they interfere with each other, and thus enable you to deal with each one individually.
* Friends can be a big help, or a great hindrance. If you can, train with others, so that you can function together as a group. Also, try to pick allies, weapons, and techniques that complement each other, such as using a polearm from behind a couple of friends using shields and swords.
* You must learn proper parrying form or you will be cooked...you can not possibly dodge all attacks. What is important is that you learn to parry while exposing as little of the vital targets on your body as possible.
* In defense, when it's enough to only move your wrist, move just the wrist. When the wrist is not enough, move the elbow. When the elbow is not enough, move the shoulder. When none of this is enough, retreat.
* Combination strikes are more effective than single blows. In an extended battle, a good fighter will attack with more than one attack. This gives a much better chance of success than just one strike. Keeping an opponent under pressure increases the possibility of a mistake on his part.
* Most fighters tend to separate defense from attack, which limits their technique severely. The best warriors combine the two, so that a block or parry turns into a natural counterstrike. Their fighting becomes a smooth, flowing progression of movement.
* Where you are standing isn't worth dying for. If you always move in a linear fashion, or just stand still, you limit yourself, and a cunning enemy can take advantage of this. Be prepared to utilize the terrain fully, and move in whatever fashion the situation calls for.
* Use weapons and techniques you are familiar with, and that cater to your particular strengths. Trying something new during combat is a good way to get killed.
* Training is vital. If you practice very hard, perhaps 10% of what you know will be available to you during combat. You must be able to act instinctively, without thought. Basic techniques lend themselves well to this, which is why they are called 'basics'. Be sure to train yourself constantly in these essentials, for much of the time, they will be the only things you have to fall back on. It generally takes about two months to learn a technique fully, but only one month to lose it. Train constantly!
* Know the length of your sword. If both fighters are correctly judging length, you'll only ever have the opportunity to hit with the top six inches or so. Keep your eye on your sword and that of your opponent at all times. However, focusing just on the opponent's sword is not advisable, since you can be misled. A skilled fighter should be able to judge the direction of the opponent's next blow by examining his posture.
* In fencing (fighting with a sword designed to thrust, as opposed to cut), always keep your sword point directly at your opponent, if you parry (block) exactly to the end of the side of their body they will not be able to hit you. Overextending yourself (parrying past that point) will leave you vulnerable.
* Maintain your balance. Keep your weight evenly balanced on both your feet. Never cross your feet as this will throw you off balance; only the slightest bit of force can knock you over. There is a reason that almost all martial arts stress balance (there are one or two weird ones where you're constantly falling and recovering.) It gives you more options to move. But, don't present your legs as an easy target either. If your opponent allows you to take advantage of a leg shot, use it. If your opponent goes down, then the fight is over.
* Positioning of the body is important. Keep your body perpendicular and the shoulder of your sword arm pointed toward your opponent (like fencers do). This makes your torso a smaller target and will protect many of your vital organs.
* If you're using both hands to grasp a sword (as with a so-called "bastard" or a hand-and-a-half sword), keep your strong hand right under the swordguard and the other hand (the off-hand) right above the pommel. Keep your arms flexed at the elbows (but not stiff), with your strong fist in front of your solar plexus and the sword positioned as described above. When defending, your strong arm should not move far from this position.
* If your sword is properly balanced, it will work as a lever. Use your off-hand to guide it, and your strong hand to lend the force to the attack or parry.
* Examination of eyewitness accounts show that many sword duels were won by gashing the opponent's arms or thighs, then waiting until blood loss made them faint, at which point they were at their assailant's mercy. Hands, feet, arms and legs are legitimate and useful targets, and will often be easier to strike than the torso or head.
* Watch your opponent carefully. Notice where he is looking - this may be the area where he's preparing to strike. When your opponent is about to attack, his fists and shoulders may tense for a second.
* Be aware of the terrain around you and use it to your advantage. Sending an opponent tumbling backwards over an obstacle behind him will surely help. Also, placing your back to the sun can cause your enemy to be momentarily blinded, thus opening him up to a fatal strike. Just remember that the same tricks can be used against you.


Warnings

* Practice exactly as you would fight, because you will fight the way you were trained. If you impose a limitation that wouldn't normally exist in combat, you risk developing a bad habit that could ultimately prove fatal.
* Expect to be cut, or worse. A warrior who is worried about his own skin tends to freeze up in the moment of truth, which is a fatal error. The instant you take up a sword against an enemy, you are throwing your life into the wind. It will be over in a moment, and you have better things to think about than death. Do your best, and survive. Worry, and you are already defeated.
* Remember that there are no awards for 2nd place in a swordfight. 1st place means you are still standing when the fight is over. 2nd place leaves you dead. This means that, once you set out to fight someone with a sword, or indeed, any weapon, your ultimate goal is survival, not a prize.
* Never, ever turn around. We've all seen the end of The Return of the Jedi, where Luke does the fancy spin maneuver. Although flashy and cool, it is largely ineffective, and doesn't work. Turning your back to your opponent, even for a second, can have fatal consequences, so don't do it!
* Never, ever let go of your sword. We all appreciate the scene in Willow where Mad Martigan tosses the sword this way and that with the greatest of ease, but if you aren't holding on to your sword, you may as well not have one. A single blow on an airborne sword will send it flying and you become defenseless, so, unless you've got more than one sword to waste, keep your hands on your weapon.
* When using a two-handed blade, keep your arms from crossing. You lose much of your maneuverability, which can be disastrous. Use the "lever" grip described above.
* Sword twirling is usually reserved only for drum majors leading a marching band. In combat sword twirling can result in losing the grip on your sword, as well as leave you exposed to attack. That said, doing a "windmill" with a two-handed blade can leave a less experienced fighter intimidated - though it is tiring, and is not advisable against a more experienced opponent.
* When fencing (for fun, like kids with sticks), the #1 mistake most people make is they try to hit the sword instead of the person. If you keep that in mind -- hitting the person (his hand, body, or head), not his sword -- you can more easily defeat someone who is attacking your sword (or stick). Plus you find your posture and confidence change, and that usually spooks an amateur.
* It's a cliche, but always expect the unexpected. There never were any clearly defined rules of sword fighting other than survival. Your opponent could kick at you, throw dirt in your face, or any one of a thousand other things to distract you. Remember that these are tactics that you can also employ.
* Staying on the defensive is only partially effective. In historic German style swordplay, keeping your opponent on the defensive is the best way to keep them from attacking. Use with care.
* The most important thing to remember is that swordplay is not "play". It is very serious business to draw a sword. Swords were designed for killing, no other purpose. Treat a sword with the same respect as a firearm and others will treat you with respect.
* It is said that the greatest warrior is the one who never has to draw his sword. This can mean that a swordsman has only himself to compare to, and doesn't need to test himself against an opponent. More practically, if you are in a true sword fight, seriously consider running away. When Abe Lincoln was challenged to a duel, he skipped it (and became president years later). Sword fighting is a good way to get killed, and is very hard to explain to the authorities (hence why duels are illegal). A three inch thrust or slice in your neck/face area is fatal or debilitating, 80% of the time. This means that the most likely outcome of a real sword fight is that the "loser" dies fast, and the "winner" dies slow. If you survive a sword fight without injury, consider yourself lucky, and try to avoid such things in the future. If the unfortunate does happen, and you are hurt, seek medical attention immediately.
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:33 PM       
http://www.wikihow.com/Piss-People-o...Outright-Nasty

Quote:
How to Piss People off on the Internet Without Being Outright Nasty

A title modification has been suggested for this article.

If you would like to suggest a different title for this article, be sure to visit the discussion page. This template has been placed by a contributor to help provide a quick response from a wikiHow Admin.

The key to pissing people off on the 'net without being outright nasty involves a few elements.


Steps

1. Catch phrases. They are your friend. Use them often, but wisely. If done correctly, they become board catch phrases, and you can become an icon. Example: "Thanks for coming out! Keep us posted. Let us know how that works out for ya!"
2. Nicknames. Always a crowd pleaser. Twists on another member's name are nice when allowed. If those are not allowed by the TOS, "sunshine", "buttercup", and "cha-cha" always are good for sending someone over the edge, even though you are just being friendly. Nothing jacks the passive-aggressive types better than a well placed "sunshine".
3. Source. Yep. Just one word, and throw in a question mark. "Source?" When used correctly, you can make a google-monkey jump through hella hoops. Then, question the source. Ask for citations, peer-reviewed of course. Always a winner.
4. Self-deprecation. You have to keep the masses on your side. By bringing yourself down a peg before someone else can, you utilize an age-old comedic art that helps your audience connect with you, even if they are mind-boggling stupid twats who are something you would normally scrape off of your shoe.
5. Post dissection. Nothing makes a net geek go ape poop quicker than a line by line filleting of the drivel that they just spewed onto your monitor. Two opposing styles are equally effective: a.) Answering long diatribes/questions with one word answers. b.) Long, tedious replies following every single sentence they post. If they post 7 lines, you hit back with 7 sets of 5 line answers.
6. Kill' em with kindness. "Please..." "Thanks!" "Would you be so kind..." Yup, you may be an asshole, but if Emily Post approves, how can they complain?


Tips

* If called out on it, claim it's just a joke while complaining on your secret board.


Things You'll Need

* Arrogance.
* Inflated ego.
* Pathetic followers.
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:36 PM       
you guys are so not reading all of that.
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:37 PM       
Quote:
How to Wear Makeup Well With a Creaseless Asian Eye



It has been suggested that this article or section be merged with How to Apply Eye Makeup on a Creaseless Eye. (Discuss)

I hated the other guide for this. The picture of the girl is disgusting, and she's wearing way too much makeup! She looks like an asian hooker. So here is a NEW guide.


Steps

1. 1. Eyeliner, Mascara, Blush, Concealer, and the RIGHT COLOR OF EYESHADOW IS A MUST!
2. 2. If you have dark skin from overtanning, sun damage, etc, and don't know which color is right for you, go to a department store like Macy's and go directly to the makeup counters. The people will help you.
3. 3. Stay AWAY FROM cotton candy-ish colors, like light blue, and light pink, etc. They make you look juvenile.
4. 4. Curling your eyelashes is a good idea. It opens up any eye.
5. 5. Apply a little bit of blush on the apples of your cheeks, it looks very flattering.
6. 6. Apply a stick concealer one shade lighter than your skin tone around your nostrils, under your eyes, and over red areas. Then gently rub it in.
7. 7 . Use blue black or black mascara. ONLY CURL EYELASHES BEFORE YOU APPLY MASCARA. THE HARDENED EYELASHES COULD BREAK OFF!
8. 8. Greys, beiges, tans, and bitter looking browns, are beautiful on dark skin tones.
9. 9. On very pale skin, you're lucky! You can use any color you want. Except for bright green, because it makes your face look green as well.
10. 10. Don't stress out about stuff, it just gives you pimples.
11. 11. A little bit of eyeliner under the eyes looks sophisticated and pretty. you can skip the eyeshadow if you want. Try not to use eyeliner as eyeshadow, sometimes it looks really cheap and gross.
12. 12. Liquid eyeliners are shocking, and I don't recommend using them unless you have a really steady hand. Also, it looks extremely dramatic. Don't use it unless you are going for that dramatic look.
13. 13. I personally don't like to use fake eyelashes. I don't like bothering with something that isn't even real. But if you insist, use a set of eyelashes. Individual ones take a LONG time to put on. And if you go to a salon, don't get eyelashes where they interweave fake ones with your real ones, and you don't have to take them off. If looks ok the first couple of days, then it just droops and looks unnatural.
14. 14. If you wear foundation, choose a color that is exactly the same as your skin tone. Otherwise it looks gross.
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 06:40 PM       
Why the hell would we read it? The fact that it exists is funny enough.
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Old Oct 22nd, 2006, 07:03 PM       
http://www.wikihow.com/Special:LSear...ulltext=Search

2. Beome Emo

7. Act Like Naruto Uzumaki

9. Be Kewl

19. Get Help in Living With Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression)



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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 02:38 PM       
i made one
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 02:44 PM       
http://www.wikihow.com/Eat-an-Orange

http://www.wikihow.com/Breathe
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TomWritesAboutStuff.com - The #1 Worst Blog
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 03:22 PM       
http://www.wikihow.com/Create-a-Whir...-Swimming-Pool :O!
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 03:40 PM       
Quote:
How to Win a Swordfight

Comment: Please note, much of this article is complete fantasy. Do NOT read this and expect to go swordfight, regardless of the circumstances. Even the basics of swordsmanship are far too complicated to sum up in a single article.

1. 1. Eyeliner, Mascara, Blush, Concealer, and the RIGHT COLOR OF EYESHADOW IS A MUST!
2. Nicknames. Always a crowd pleaser. Twists on another member's name are nice when allowed. If those are not allowed by the TOS, "sunshine", "buttercup", and "cha-cha" always are good for sending someone over the edge, even though you are just being friendly. Nothing jacks the passive-aggressive types better than a well placed "sunshine".
3. Think of the alphabet (in case you forgot: a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z)
4. Turn console on
5. Accept all incoming friend requests.
6. remember showing fever symptoms usally helps when faking this sickness.
7. When all else fails, go to the bathroom and "tuck it in" pointing up and held with the waistband of your trousers. Don't make it hurt, just hold it in place. The erection will be much less noticeable, and will go away presently. Then, pull up your waistband and free your poor penis.
8. Diss Eminem and anyone related to him.
9. Have lots of boyfriends! Make sure they totally worship you and shower you with gifts! Try and find a rich boyfriend, you can find these in cool, popular clubs, which you should be hanging around in!


Tips

* Do not make sharp sudden movements; cats get scared easily.
* Remember the good times
* Whenever you go into the woods, make sure people know where you are going, and take a cell phone/mobile with you.

Warnings

* Its just for fun, dont take it too seriously because after all you cant climb trees with only using your feet or walk on water by controling your chakra.
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I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
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  #43  
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 04:43 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by executioneer
Suck One Million D*Cks

wikiHow does not yet have an article with this exact name.

# wikiHow is a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest how-to manual. To learn more visit the home page Main-Page or About WikiHow page. You can help other people learn How to Suck One Million D*Cks by writing the article now.

# Forward this page to a friend who knows How to Suck One Million D*Cks and can write this article.
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  #44  
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 04:51 PM       
lol you should write it, chojin ;<
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  #45  
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 05:29 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by executioneer
Suck One Million D*Cks

wikiHow does not yet have an article with this exact name.

# wikiHow is a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest how-to manual. To learn more visit the home page Main-Page or About WikiHow page. You can help other people learn How to Suck One Million D*Cks by writing the article now.

# Forward this page to a friend who knows How to Suck One Million D*Cks and can write this article.
oh what the hell
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 05:33 PM       
just in case it gets delet again

Quote:
How to Suck One Million D*Cks
this article tells it all

Steps
1 make a wikihow article
2 that's it



Tips
don't



Warnings
don't



Things You'll Need
don't
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  #47  
zeldasbiggestfan zeldasbiggestfan is offline
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 08:12 PM       
Hahaha
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Old Oct 23rd, 2006, 09:55 PM       
I'm glad you like it zeldasbiggestfan

because i like it too
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