How do you get over someone?

[James]

Yeah, because it's such an option for me to go date. If I had other girls I could be with, this would never be a problem.

Don't focus on the fact that this particular time, it's an internet girl. I'm just talking in general, about liking a girl who doesn't like you back, but not wanting to lose the friendship when trying to stop liking her.

[noob3]

you cant get over an internet girl? fag

[soundtest]

liking a girl who doesn't like you back, but not wanting to lose the friendship when trying to stop liking her

Numbers guy can you post the Ladder theory link AGAIN please.

[O71394658]

Put it in favorites.

The Ladder Theory.

[James]

Originally Posted by Noob3

you cant get over an internet girl? fag

I'll keep that in mind next time you want me to get you porn.

Blah blah Ladder Theory. I know all about that, and have it bookmarked, but it certainly doesn't address the stopping of feelings from the male's situation. It just says "If a guy finds you attractive, you can't be friends." But I figure there's got to be a way to make yourself stop finding someone attractive/liking them, that doesn't consist of never talking to them or seeing them again. Especially since I know I'm always going to see this particular person around often.

[Bod]

the obvious answer is get drunk and if you stay drunk long enough, by the time you sober up you've forgotton.

a healthier answer is get together with a good frien. write down everything that is crap about this person and tell your mate. then everytime you whine about this person, your mate will refer to the list until you feel better

[KevinTheOmnivore]

I'm going through a problem similar to this, I guess. I moved from NY to Texas, so my girlfriend 0f 3-4 years and I basically broke up. So now she's dating some douche bag in an "indie rock" band, and she has just basically become sort of indifferent, at times cold to me. This really hurts me, because she is my best friend, she's the closest person to me in the world, compounded by the fact that I'm in a new place and alone.

So, I basically just figured it was over, life sucks, and it was time to move on. But she strings me along, she tells me she loves me and that she wants to be with me "down the road," or "in the future," but she can't clearly define when or where that is. So in the meantime, she wants us to be "friends," while she gets to have her cake and eat it to. I on the other hand, am a miserable mess, and I just wait for this "down the road" to arrive. I told her to stop calling me, that I need to break away to get over her, but she just called me more, and for a couple of days anyway was really sweet and loving. Now she's back to indifferent and cold, and I feel like I need to distance myself, get over her, but I can't. She said she'd keep calling me.

[wreckreation]

Typical story. She is afraid to jump ship till she is sure about her landing. Forget about her kevin. It won't work out positively for you unless the guy is a real jerk and then she will just be picking you 2nd and you don't want a girl like that.

[Perndog]

The opposite of love is indifference. Make yourself indifferent. Don't try to dislike the girl or find flaws in her. Just stop caring. No one can tell you how, because it's a different thing for each of us. Take all that advice about finding someone else, occupying yourself with something, etc. and translate that into something that works for you.

My method? I can just tell myself that she's not important, that there are or will be others, and that she doesn't *deserve* my attention. I don't have to make myself hate her specifically, I just drop her into that mental bucket with the faceless 90% of humanity I just generally dislike.