Why I hate myself

[The_voice_of_reason]

I am a dork, or so says a female co-worker of mine. She told me this because I couldn’t ask a girl out, even though as she pointed out it appeared as if the girl was “totally into me”. This is the second time in as many weeks that I have done this. The other time I was ridiculed was by a friend when I couldn’t “make a move” on a girl who worked at Sonic. Even after this I wonder why I am alone. I will be a virgin forever, hell I have never even kissed a girl.

I am completely void of self-confidence, I am unable to even talk to a girl I don’t already know. I shake and sweat and stammer making a complete fool of myself. What I end up doing is trying to avoid conversations until I am forced into proximity in a place like a class room or at work. Once I get comfortable around a girl I make really good friends with her, and subsequently put here off limits to me. Every once in a while I will fall in like. The funny thing is there is one thing all these girls who I like have in common, unavailability. They usually have boyfriends except for the most current one who is off limits because she is only 16 and I will be 19 in September also I am going to college in August. I think that I want these girls because I can never have them. It works like a self defense mechanism; if they are off limits I don’t have to worry about asking them out and have no fears of rejection.

But the oddest thing is I can completely block all this out. I can pretend that it doesn’t matter or make excuses like “I hate how males are supposed to act in our society so I don’t act like that” or “I like to get to know girls before I ask them out” or even on occasion “she probably gets hit on all the time and I would just be another asshole”. I can totally block all this off until something happens (I went to our towns fireworks show and saw the “too young” girl) and it comes surging out. I will get sullen and introspective and write some good short stories or poems and within a week I can go back to my cycle of self-denial and making excuses.


I know there is no advice you can give me that could possibly change me. I am just putting this here because I need to have some real live people read this without having to admit it to people who are close to me.

[Anonymous]

you can't cry if you're dead :>

[liquidstatik]

[The_voice_of_reason]

Originally Posted by Chojin

you can't cry if you're dead :>

I was wrong about you not being able to give me any helpful advice.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

It's obvious that you are gay, plain and simple. Just go fuck a man and be over with it.

[FartinMowler]

I will give you some advice mushroom. Look at all the shitty actors that get roles and the time and work and rejection that they had to go through to get into the "biz" and you don't even have the gonads to walk up and say "Hi my name is Mushroom" and when it comes to conversation just talk about generic day to day stuff and don't get too personal for atleast a year. Kisda "Keep it simple dumb ass"

[The_voice_of_reason]

Originally Posted by Royal Tenenbaum

It's obvious that you are gay, plain and simple. Just go fuck a man and be over with it.

a friend of mine actually suggested that to me but the whole touching another man in his special place turned me off.

Originally Posted by FartinMowler

I will give you some advice mushroom. Look at all the shitty actors that get roles and the time and work and rejection that they had to go through to get into the "biz" and you don't even have the gonads to walk up and say "Hi my name is Mushroom" and when it comes to conversation just talk about generic day to day stuff and don't get too personal for atleast a year. Kisda "Keep it simple dumb ass"

This is very good advice but i won't take it. Because i am a sissy i don't have the stomach for rejection and i don't even think about these things when in a situation where i can make a move. I become someone other than myself, God i hate that person.

You all are telling me the truth all good and potentially helpful but I still cannot control myself enough implement this advice. I don't know why I am a spineless loser, I just am.

[FartinMowler]

I can see through the bullshit and know that this is just a ploy of self loathing. next!!

[The One and Only...]

Smack her in the ass. DO IT!!! DO IT!!!

Either that, or learn how to search for the best internet porn.

[Anonymous]

[The_voice_of_reason]

LOL

[Rev. Danno]

VOICE!!! shouldn't this be on stories for the bored? I can tell you I read it, & well I think it is a craptacular peice of crap...

[Spectre X]

CHOJIN LIKES PENNY-ARCADE!!!

[AChimp]

Best comic ever!

[Protoclown]

Dude, I hate to tell you, but it doesn't get any better. I am 26 and I have still never kissed a girl or anything either. And the longer you go and the older you get, the harder it gets. When you're my age and totally inexperienced, you haven't just been unlucky, you're a complete freak with something wrong with you. Women don't find it cute or endearing, they are disturbed by it.

At least you're not that old, you've got plenty of time. You'd better do something though, because it only gets worse. Either get off your ass and do something about it, or just give up now. If you wait until you're my age, you really won't have a choice, it's just not going to be an option anymore.

If you really can't talk to women though...don't. Maybe you're not meant to be with one. Not everybody is, you know.

[The_voice_of_reason]

Thank you Protoclown for destroying all my hope.

[Protoclown]

No problem, man. It's what I'm here for. But I prefer to think of it as "instilling you with a healthy dose of reality".

When I was your age, I thought things would get easier. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time thinking that.

[Anonymous]

I never kissed anyone till I was in college, so my response to Voice of Reason is:

big whoop.

[Protoclown]

Yeah, kissing is GAY anyway.

[Helm]

I wish I hadn't kissed anyone

[kellychaos]

Brooding and introspection are a waste of time. Sheeyat or stop posting about it.

[Helm]

I guess I'll have to go with sheeyat

[kellychaos]

Turn that frown up-side down.

[CaptainBubba]

I was make-out raped.

I should've put up a fight. Sadly I'm not kidding in the slightest.

[AChimp]

I guarantee that once I finally decide to type it out my story will be much sadder than this thread.