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  #51  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 01:35 AM       
Once, I was at a bar with a friend who was a junkie (but otherwise a good guy), and we sat at a table. This was around when "The Blair Witch Project" first came out in theatres. Two girls asked if they could join us, and we said "ok". They talked about the movie, i made jokes, my friend nodded off, repeatedly, and when the bar was closing I hit 'em with this....

"Um, I hate to ask, but could I get a ride home?"

""(SIGH)..... WHERE do you live? (mild groan)"

"Uhh, I meant, YOUR HOME"

And it worked!!!! Lots of touchy feely with 2 girls, but no pokey squealy.

Oh well.
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  #52  
Shrubfest Shrubfest is offline
Thrills and Oblongs
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Old May 6th, 2008, 06:06 PM       
Works for me!
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  #53  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 06:18 PM       
It's ladies like yourself, Shrub, that made me NOT turn gay over a decade ago... (swoons).
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  #54  
Shrubfest Shrubfest is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 07:15 PM       
I'm a classy bird....

*cough*
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  #55  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 07:53 PM       
well, i get paid soon...

Gonna hire 3 midgets at 20 dollars each to drink the Atlantic Ocean, then I'll walk to England


OH SHIT THIS THE PICK-UP LINE THREAD!!!

"Buy me a drink... i mean, can i buy you a migdet, i mean drink? I own hotels and the Moon!!!!"
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  #56  
Shrubfest Shrubfest is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 07:55 PM       
Great stuff. And back onto topic.....
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  #57  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 07:59 PM       
Are these supposed to be pick up lines that worked? Or just pick up lines?
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  #58  
Shrubfest Shrubfest is offline
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Old May 6th, 2008, 08:06 PM       
Just lines, methinks.
Wouldn't be as funny otherwise.
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  #59  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old May 6th, 2008, 10:00 PM       
You wait here, and I'll bring the etchings down.

- James Thurber
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You may already have won!
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  #60  
WhiteRat WhiteRat is offline
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Old May 7th, 2008, 02:09 AM       
It's a big one but it does the job:
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  #61  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
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Old May 7th, 2008, 03:01 AM       
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  #62  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 7th, 2008, 04:42 AM       
and you pick up babes or dudes with that how?
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  #63  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
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Old May 7th, 2008, 07:12 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteRat View Post
It's a big one but it does the job:
SIGNED, WILLIE
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[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
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  #64  
Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
Stone Pants Rabbit
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Old May 7th, 2008, 11:19 AM       
how many drinks would it take you get you out of your clothes?
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  #65  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 7th, 2008, 10:28 PM       
"OH MY GOD!!!! That's a great dress you're wearing.... but it would look better on my bedroom floor"
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  #66  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
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Old May 7th, 2008, 11:55 PM       
"CAN I SEE YOUR VAGINA, ITS FOR A SCHOOL PROJECT"
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[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
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  #67  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
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Old May 8th, 2008, 12:07 AM       
"I lost my virginity, can I have yours?"
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SETH ME IMPRIMI FECIT
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  #68  
Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
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Old May 8th, 2008, 09:19 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sethomas View Post
"I lost my virginity, can I have yours?"
the winner....
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  #69  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 12th, 2008, 09:41 PM       
Once I smeared rubber cement on the fly of my jeans, before this hot girl was about to walk past me. When she was in front of me, I light it on fire and said, "My loins are burning for ya, baby".
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  #70  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
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Old May 13th, 2008, 01:30 AM       
And when you woke up, your pillow was gone.
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  #71  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 13th, 2008, 01:56 AM       
the previous post is a true story... i just left out the part where the woman (she was older than 17, which was my age, at the time) looked at me like, "Jesus, another dumbass kid who's never been to Chicago".
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  #72  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
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Old May 13th, 2008, 04:06 AM       
*THINGS I FIND SEXY*

-BLUE EYES
-SKINNY WRISTS
-ATHEISM

DO YOU FIT ALL CRITERIA? [ ] YES [ ] NO

PRINT NAME HERE ___________________

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DATING TOTALLY RANDOM STRANGERS? [ ] YES [ ] NO

IF "NO", THEN PROVIDE PHONE NUMBER HERE ___________________

PLEASE DROP INTO ANY USPS CERTIFIED MAILBOX
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  #73  
T-Rex T-Rex is offline
!!!
 
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Old May 14th, 2008, 05:10 AM       
Wanna see sum dikk?
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  #74  
Kybo Ren Kybo Ren is offline
ni kar'tayl gar darasuum
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Old May 14th, 2008, 05:15 PM       
You may be old enough to be my grandmother, but you're young enough to be my lover.



*use at nursing home, prepare for gummers
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  #75  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 14th, 2008, 10:26 PM       
I almost puked until i remembered Tom Waits in "The Mystery Men"

Say it with me.... "Heller"
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