Masturbation

[JewSupremacisy]

I know from experience that it is possible to stop masturbating. As a teenager I discovered to my shock and horror that masturbation defaces and permanently damages the penis, because the hand is not designed like the vagina, but has an uneven shape by which the penis is enclosed during autoeroticism. Moreover the temptation to masturbate abates when one has a wife, or is altogether extinguished upon marriage, since the penis is designed to fit into the vagina, and the constant availability of a vagina obviates any desire to stimulate oneself. The realisation of which is contributive to overcoming the pangs associated with masturbatory abstinence, by dint of the knowledge that such pains are transient, and eradicable by the acquisition of a mate, if one has the misfortunate of not having yet acquired a mate.

Another thing is this odd--and discomforting--mental imagery (and tactile associations) I experience upon ejaculating semen. I don't know how common this is--it may be quite common, or it may be quite rare; I don't know--I never asked or hitherto said anything about it to anyone. It is this: whenever I ejaculate semen, I feel bloody. I feel like my penis is bleeding, like blood is squirting out of my penis. I have absolutely no idea why this is, how this association came about. It's quite odd.

[executioneer]

omg roflmao

[Helm]

I'm pretty sure this is a character, and if it is, I think he's making fun of me too but hey.

[sadie]

Perhaps this mental imagery is a flashback to some hitherto repressed infantile experience.

[Studio8]

This is good stuff, man.

[kellychaos]

Please continue spilling your seed unto the ground. As long as you don't procreate.

[JewSupremacisy]

Originally Posted by kellychaos

Please continue spilling your seed unto the ground. As long as you don't procreate.

That was an original insult, I've never heard those words used a million times.
END OF SARCASIM

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by JewSupremacisy

I know from experience that it is possible to stop masturbating. As a teenager I discovered to my shock and horror that masturbation defaces and permanently damages the penis, because the hand is not designed like the vagina, but has an uneven shape by which the penis is enclosed during autoeroticism.

Spit into your fucking hand or use lotion. Doesn't it strike you as odd that you are the only person in the world who has this problem? How the hell did you manage to injure your prick masturbating? You must be the dumbest person on the planet if you can't even jack off right.

[adept_ninja]

he beats it like it owes him money am i right guys lol i heard that joke on the chappel dave show thats almost as funny as saying "YEAH" and "OK" really loud

[Helm]

JEANETTE: CHARACTER. FEEL FREE TO STOP TAKING SERIOUSLY ANY TIME NOW

[Dole]

Oi, Jewbaiter or whatever your called: try and keep the shit jokes down to one line or less, then someone might actually read them (as well as Jeanette).