Features

Mockery · #1

I was going to post these in my upcoming blog but it's been delayed and my job at this place is now over so there's no reason to hold onto 'em any longer. So I was working a contract job for about a month and a half at this medical patient accounts place, designing their intranet from scratch. They sat me in with all of the people who answer the phones and have really crappy jobs. I took some pics of the area when nobody was watching because I just had to show you living proof of what they call "FISHITUDE". Don't ask me how, but they felt that by hanging tons of inflatable fish from the ceiling, employees would have a better attitude towards their job. Hence they call it "FISHITUDE".

First off, here's my computer with my customized Mr. Anderson desktop. I actually spent a while getting all sorts of spiffy icons and skins for all sorts of shit on that computer. Oh the things you do to kill time when you're waiting for a department to get back to you with content for their section of the intranet...

Ordinarily, red white & blue streamers would make sense... if it was the 4th of July. But these were hanging up this entire past week and one day all the people were wearing uncle sam hats and bandanas 'n shit. Nobody seemed to have any reason for it either. I also heard some of them talking about a tropical shirt day and a mexican hat day and other shit. They were very VERY excited about the possibility of wearing new costumes to work. Creepy.

Exhibit A: Inflatable fish and a happy paper sunshine hanging from the ceiling nearby.

Exhibit B: Widest shot of the area that I could get without being seen. Notice how many fucking fish are hanging from the ceiling? And that's like only 1/8th of the floor I was on. They even draped a hula necklace around one of those inflatable fish. MADNESS!

Exhibit C: My personal inflatable fish that was hanging above my desk. After a few weeks of working there I swear the thing was watching me. Oh how I wanted to whack that fish like a pinata. Actually, there is a fish pinata hanging up in there too... go figure.

Anyway, I didn't see any proof that "FISHITUDE" made people work harder or like their jobs any more. I think it just made them all crazy.

-RoG-

p.s.: I slapped a Kneel Before Zod sticker on my computer on my last day. Gotta mark my territory.

Mike · #2

Did you have an annoying boss that came by your cubicle to ask you about your pieces of flair and say "what's happening, Peter, I mean RoG"?

Fishitude huh? That's just about the most retarded thing I've ever heard of (next to freedom fries). I bet there were actually annoying people there who got all excited about their fishitude.

Anonymous · #3

pantitude

Esuohlim · #4

I don't know...that happy sun seems pretty motivational to me. I mean, you wouldn't want to anger it or anything.

Cap'n Crunch · #5

Wow, they gave you a nameplate.

Why the fuck does that lady have one of those fish in her office?

AChimp · #6

@ Chojin

Mock, if those fish truly do have eyes, you should try to be stealthier with the camera. Do you know if they report what theyt see to some kind of fish master?

You can never be too careful.

Mockery · #7

I'm not really sure. And Boogie was telling me that they were using fishes to inspire people at some orientation thing of his or something too. It's a fucking conspiracy.

There's a big 4th floor in that building and I've never been up there. But I'll be it's completely underwater and ruled by a giant man-fish hybrid who wants all the power he can grasp.

Zomboid · #8

I swear, if I ever end up being one of those people who gets excited about being able to wear jeans to work or something...I'm flinging myself off a high building.

Mockery · #9

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a sure sign that your life is fucking over.

Secret Agent Vomit · #10

People at my job are like that. Thursday this girl was all excited and shit because Friday and Saturday you could wear shorts, and get this, YOU ONLY HAD TO PAY $5.00!!!1

It was for charity, but still.

Mockery · #11

Yep, they had that at our place too. You make a donation and you get to wear jeans on Friday. :/

sadie · #12

i'm proud of you for refraining from pissing on the cubicle, mock.

Mockery · #13

Yeah, I didn't piss on it. But I did piss in it. You'd be surprised how much urine my desk drawers could hold.

sadie · #14

well, zoddamnit.

Cosmo Electrolux · #15

inflatable fish as incentive to work...hmmm.....I just don't fucking get it.....what am I missing?

Anonymous · #16

we occasionally had 'jeans day's at my old school, where you paid a dollar for the privledge to wear jeans.

we had a dress code (that no-one paid attention to anyway).

i don't like jeans to begin with.