I pissed mom off again.

[Brandon]

I just pissed my mother off.

I was carrying a box up from the basement filled with the decorations that we took down to make room for the Christmas crap, and I noticed the overabundance of rooster-related things. I should mention at this point that my mother went through an episode where buying decorations covered with roosters seemed like a good idea. So, being the comedian I am, I blurted out the following when I passed her in the kitchen:

"There's a lot of roosters in this box. Somebody sure likes cocks!"

Needless to say, she wasn't amused, and she's been giving me dirty looks ever since. I guess you always walk a fine line with humor that actually has the potential to make people laugh.

[liquidstatik]

How old are you?

[Brandon]

20

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I think you could have pulled it off if you'd said,

"Who has the cock fetish?"

[liquidstatik]

Oh. If you were like 15, i'de understand her being pissed. :/

[Brandon]

Definitely an overreaction on mom's part.

[MrAdventure]

you know that was very disrespectful!

i wouldve put the entire bottle of castor oil in your mouth but your mom has no backbone no wonder you turned out so worthless

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by MrAdventure

you know that was very disrespectful!

i wouldve put the entire bottle of castor oil in your mouth but your mom has no backbone no wonder you turned out so worthless

Which is exactly why she doesn't deserve my respect! Fucking negligent, spineless parent.

[HickMan]

That made me LOL My mom AND dad collect roosters.

[Drew Katsikas]

This reminds me of a meaningful quote from Harry Potter.

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by Drew Katsikas

This reminds me of a meaningful quote from Harry Potter.

LOW BLOW, SWASTIKAS. I officially disowned that thread.

[The One and Only...]

Why do I get the sense that I live in an overly open family?

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by The One and Only...

Why do I get the sense that I live in an overly open family?

Mine's so repressed it would make anyone's seem open.

[MisSFiT]

Your mom probably thought it was really funny, but she didn't want to laugh because she thought it might encourage that kind of behavior regularly.

I don't know...
just a thought. :/

[Esuohlim]

Next time you pass by her say "Lighten up, you cunt".

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by Esuohlim

Next time you pass by her say "Lighten up, you cunt".

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MY SELF-HELP BOOK SAID TO DO!

[Zomboid]

Your mom's a crazy uptight bitch. I can make jokes like that in front of most of my friend's moms and they find it funny, and I'm 16, so your being 20 and getting that reaction weirds me out.

[Snatchtastic]

They don't love you anymore.

Time to move out.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I pissed off my Mom one time, but she kinda had a good reason for it. I was fucking her and I had bought those cheap ass condoms, and it ended up breaking, so I ended up cumming my seed into the very womb that spawned me. She was fuckin' pissed at me because she got fuckin' pregnant of course, and she beat me with a fuckin' blacksmith hammer until I agreed to pay for the abortion.

[Jason]

that made me rofl...

[SMN]

The complete opposite happened to me. here's the skimmy of the story:

I was inflating a couple pool toys for the kids at my aunt's pool party, and I got up to the Godzilla toy. Now, the valve to inflate it's body was right where his crotch is. I was just about finished inflating his body when my mom looked over. She laughed, whipped out an instant cam, and shot a pic of me inflating godzilla in a comprimising position. The bitch laughed again and told everyone she saw me sucking off Godzilla. I shrugged, and went on to another pool toy, a squid. My uncle screamed " look everyone, he's at it again!!"

so now everyone thinks I'm gay, or something along those lines.