NEW LONGBOX: "THE ULTIMATELY INSANE WARRIOR!"

[Mockery]

You may recall that back in December I reviewed the Ultimate Warrior's foray into comic book madness with his special Christmas issue in which he appeared to rape Santa Claus. Well, after reading through his books, I knew it was something that Proto would want to cover in his Tales From the Longbox series, so I lent him my copies of the comic. In actuality, it was just a cruel prank on him. Still, he's wiped away the blood from his eyes and has made it through all four of the original Warrior comics. This is easily one of his best Longbox installments to date, so I highly urge you to check it out. After all, he's suffered through all those pages for YOUR amusement.


NEW LONGBOX: "THE ULTIMATELY INSANE WARRIOR!" -by Protoclown
http://www.i-mockery.com/comics/longbox14

Enjoy!

[Protoclown]

And guys, as a special torture, I mean, uhh, treat, yes, treat, I've had all four issues scanned in and I've uploaded them to sendspace where you can temporarily download them. I didn't even scratch the surface of how bad the narration gets in that book (there simply wasn't enough space and I'd have reproduced every narration box verbatim anyway, so if you want to see the full extent of just HOW awful this book is, download it and see for yourself.

I warn you that you'll probably regret it though.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/zwvt49

[MLE]

I used to LOVE the Ultimate Warrior as a child. I look forward to reading all these insane ramblings for myself and in the name of DESTRUCITY!

Thanks ;D

[Grislygus]

Do I really want to read this

[Protoclown]

The comic itself? No.

My write-up about it? YUS

[kahljorn]

Hey, butt breath!
Did you notice that all the women in this book look like crackwhores?
and the scene when he's in the limo his girlfriends hands in the reflection are like claws that look bigger than her face!

and that scene where one of his leg disappears... did you notice his other leg (the visible one) looks like it's a stretch armstrong leg or something? Besides looking like it was molded out of playdo, of course.

[Protoclown]

Oh yes, I noticed...I noticed all of that. Every excruciating detail. And it made me claw out my brain

[kahljorn]

lol

[Angryhydralisk]

How did I miss THIS article? Either way, this is hilarious.

Hell, I look forward to reading Protoclown's articles for the humorous captions alone.

[Krythor]

I just read this, it's fantastic. One of the best pieces I've ever read on the site.

There's something so creepy and weird about it, like spending a day inside the mind of a maniac, especially that part about the Callahan rant at the end.

[Protoclown]

Thanks Krythor. I have to say it's one of the pieces I'm most proud of, and I tried like hell to get it some exposure on the Intarweb, but without any luck. People just didn't seem interested...I guess the Ultimate Warrior just isn't hot news these days, but those comics were GOLD, dammit! Glad you enjoyed it, anyway!