Feb 25th, 2005, 05:21 PM
Best arrest ever
Bloody hell I've not posted here in ages
think I cracked up last time
so here's a tale:
Way back when, I was a student in Swansea, sharing a knackered old house with some very uptight university students and my dole-bludger-good-for-nuthing boyfriend. He had a lovely collie/golden labrador called Max who craved attention so much he couldn't be left alone as he'd whine and yelp until you came back.
One day my ex wandered off as he tended to and didn't come back for a couple of weeks (yuss I did dump him). But in the meantime, I was left with a clingy dog. I took him to college with me a few times but then everyone started bringing in their dogs and the practice was banned. I left him at home, but the uni students were irate as they were trying to revise for degrees, so I left Max with a friend called Joey.
Joey was a local I knew through my ex, they met at the dole. Joey was a nice enough bloke and happily looked after the dog.
Now at that time, as I said I was a student, what do students stuck in a shit-hole town do? They smoke dope. My cohorts, Hannah and Watley were real dope smokers, they smoked for breakfast lunch and tea, plus much, much more. They could inhale a huge bong, have a conversation for 10 minutes and only then exhale. I was quite pathetic by comparison, but we still had great laughs.
Tuesday was life drawing day and everybody hated this, the most skivved class. But I was staying with Hannah and Watley, so after a breakfast bong, I was quite keen, dropped Max at Joeys and the three of us giggled all the way to college.
Our tutor commented that our work had become 'freer' as the day progressd. At the end of the class, he told Watley to take her painting home before he did!!
On the way home, I went to pick up Max, but Joey wasn't home. So I went to Hannah & Watley's house and got increasingly stoned. Throughtout the evening I trudged the 15 min walk to Joeys with no response. At around 9.30pm, I walked to Joeys - he stayed at in a room within a large house where various doley and petty criminals lived; a place where the social put you because no landlord would have risk housing you. Joey lived around the back, so I always went there and tapped on his window.
Walking past the front door I saw a few burly looking men, but was happily stoned and didn't pay much attention, assuming some geezer was being evicted. I had my walkman on and Ministry's 'So What' was pounding full blast through my head.
I tapped on Joeys window and he was there, he glared at me. I thought, shit he's mad cos he's been stuck with the dog all day. I went to the back door and waited bloody ages for him to let me in, but I was in no hurry, I had Ministry and was very happy.
Eventually two beefy blokes answered the door and thanked me for my patience (WTF?). So I went in and the house seemed very busy indeed, but Max was hysterical to see me and everything stopped. Then a small welsh woman marched up to me demanding to know who I was, I thought ' shit, Joey has a girlfriend and she thinks I'm after him'. She asked me to go in a room alone with her and I was ready to be beaten up, she looked fucking hard.
Imagine my relief when I found out that she wasn't Joey's lady but infact a copper and I had walked in on a drugs raid!!! I emptied my pockets as requested and found nothing. She emptied my pockets and found the remains of my hash. Thank god I'd smoked most of it!!
nb, although she generally spoke with a welsh accent, when she told me 'I was nicked' it was a London accent, I think she must have watched 'The Bill' a lot.
Good job for them I'd arrived really. They were on a city-wide raid to clean up the area called 'Operation Rodney'. They thought they were going to find a smack dealer at Joey's place but the suspect was out (and taken his gear with him). They were that desperate for an arrest that they'd already had Joey for possesion of two bongs. Extreme to say the least, but they kept smelling the bag containging the bongs and commenting on the stink. So the only drugs they found was the blimp of hash I had in my matchbox. Apparantly I was one of the happiest people they'd ever arrested.
Joey was led out the house first. A picture of this was on the front page of the local paper the next day with his head blocked out. I was led out next and after much debate the cops decided it was safe to let us share the same car.
I got interviewed:
"I don't suppose you want to tell us where you bought that hash"
"nah"
"Thought not"
"How much did that cost you?"
"About £5.00"
"You've been ripped off"
"No way, I've already smoked most of it!"
I was photographed and fingerprinted to only recieve a caution and five minutes in a room with a bearded lady who wanted to help me with my drug problem, nothing to do with the police of course.
It turned out that Joey was really named Steve, which made me look dodgy. We left an hour or so later. Joey wasn't a dealer, but he did used to score for me and it was from him that I'd had my hash (before the cops nicked it). He thanked me for not telling them so and pulled a leather cord from around his neck. At the end of the cord was a leather pouch with a huge piece of black in it!! He'd been crapping himself the entire time in that station. He broke me off a piece bigger that the one I'd bought and we went back to Hannah and Watleys. They wondered where the hell I'd been. But not to worry, I'd returned with more dope than I'd left with at no extra cost.
Best arrest ever!!
|
I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
Linear Mode
