Jun 29th, 2011, 04:12 PM
what the hell even WAS that, that wasn't a joke
Whatever. A Californian, A Midwesterner, and a New Yorker are chained to a wall by a serial killer. The serial killer walks and speaks.
"Well, I made a small mistake with one of you, and the police are going to find out who I am. It'll be too late for you, however; I'm going to kill you, skin you, tan your hides, and sew them into a goddamn tablecloth."
He pauses to let this sink in, before lighting a cigarette and lazily telling them that they are allowed to choose the method in which they die.
The Californian begins to scream and panic, and the serial killer lose patience and slits his throat, careful not to get below the neckline. The Midwesterner angrily tells the killer just to shoot him, so the killer deftly puts a bullet between his eyes, and turns to the New Yorker.
"How about it? You want a bullet too?"
The New Yorker looks at his chained leg, then back at the killer.
"I want a fork."
"A fork. Call it a last request."
Intrigued, the killer leaves the room and returns with a fork, which he tosses to the New Yorker. The New Yorker grabs the fork and looks at it.
Suddenly he starts stabbing himself with the fork repeatedly and violently, hundreds of times in quick succession, all over his body in a frenzy. The killer takes a step back and screams at him,
"What the fuck are you doing?!!"
The New Yorker, now completely covered by blood and holes, throws the fork at him.
"THERE GOES YOUR TABLECLOTH, SHITHEAD"