My Yahoo! Personals Page

[MattJack]

So I figured I can get even more hot chicks if I just throw out my A+ game via the internetz.

Here is my profile/bio thing that you have to fill out:

My life: I moved to the Houston area about a year ago from Louisiana. I work as a Network Engineer. I have recently bought a bar of soap that can eliminate the worst odors and stains that man can produce. Bananas aren't over rated, but I feel that sleep is. How does this correlate to my present life? That is your call.

My personality: I have one, I suppose. My sarcasm is very dry and you'll more than likely take me in the worst possible way that you can when I say something foul at your mother's funeral. If you ask me if what you are wearing looks good, I will say "Of course!" When in reality I don't understand how fashion works and why it is even important in today's multi-cultural society, when presently, I feel that campaign finance reform needs to be a subject that we as americans can sit down with and have an honest discussion about, also we need to have an honest discussion about run on sentences and their place in the 21st century and beyond. With that said, I typically wear rubber boots, suspenders, V-neck undershirts, and bright orange thigh high shorts. It seems to work well for me and my fish belly blue skin.

My match: Somebody who won't call me 500 times to ask me where I am or what I'm doing. Somebody who doesn't care if my buddy Jesus and I are having a drink because it just happens to be the best Tuesday ever. Somebody who can cook a delicious meatloaf with just the right amount of spices, and yet retain the overall flavor of the hamburger. A girl who can show me the proper way to use a beer bong while beating me in a video game of her choosing. Somebody who bathes atleast once a week. A banana eating enthusiast/champion. A woman that loves sushi almost as much as she does "putting it on me." A girl who is an utter smart ass and knows how to read this paragraph correctly.



Any suggestions guys? I think I hear my inbox flooding up as I type this!

[Womti]

Originally Posted by MattJack

I think I hear my inbox flooding up as I type this!

what?

Originally Posted by MattJack

I think I hear my vagina flooding up as I type this!

oh. right.

[MattJack]

Man that was so, so clever, womti.

I hope I can manage to recover emotionally from that vicious attack on my manhood.

[MisSFiT]

It's good, but you need to add what you like to do for fun, I think that's the only thing you are missing.

[MattJack]

what do I like to do for fun?

[MisSFiT]

What other activities do you partake in other than going to work?

[MattJack]

whacking it in the shower.

This personals page is a joke, I am making fun of a friend I know who has one. I basically want to put really dumb shit on it and see if anyone actually replies to it.

[MisSFiT]

You are actually putting it up? What if someone replies?

[kahljorn]

ITSA JOKE SO HELL PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF THEM

[MisSFiT]

I think youe caps lock is on.

BTW-I know it's a joke, I'm not that retarded.

[Womti]

Originally Posted by MattJack

Man that was so, so clever, womti.

I hope I can manage to recover emotionally from that vicious attack on my manhood.

wait, arent you Terra or something? I'm a bit confused just now...

[MattJack]

YES I AM TERRA YOU FIGURED OUT THE SECRET THAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HIDE SO HARD FOR SO LONG

[Terra]

Originally Posted by womti

wait, arent you Terra or something? I'm a bit confused just now...

somebody woke up on the wrong side of the cardboard box. at least the library is closed now for the next two days.

[Sam]

YOUR MATCH SHOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS

"MY MATCH: BETTER LIKE DICK. LOTS OF DICK. MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT. DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK. I HATE HEARING NO SO A MUTE WOULD BE A PLUS. AS LONG AS YOU LIKE DICK. BIG, JUICY DICK."

AND YES I AM VERY SERIOUS.

[RaNkeri]

I never knew you can actually hit on girls by writing

[kahljorn]

"MY MATCH: BETTER LIKE DICK. LOTS OF DICK. MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT. DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK. I HATE HEARING NO SO A MUTE WOULD BE A PLUS. AS LONG AS YOU LIKE DICK. BIG, JUICY DICK."

then he'd probably get one of those fetish girls that like to be dominated and treated like crap.

"I never knew you can actually hit on girls by writing "

What? You've never heard of a love letter before? or like... uh... i dont know.. i mean... people use words to write with, and words to hit on people. Pretty similar, all in all, I'm surprised it surprises you so.
maybe im just missing his dutch/finnish whatever sarcasm :O