I-Mockery Bard

[kellychaos]

After sending in the requisite number of box-tops, I have earned the title of heralder of all things I-Mockery. Mostly, this will be in the form of character assasinations. I'm thinking in limerick form. With fingers crossed, hilarity may ensue ... but probably not ... more later.

[kellychaos]

There once was a girl named Guitar Woman
Said to be from Sasquatch-ewan
She looks like a cow
And it's rumored that how
She udderly wow, but she weighs a ton

[ziggytrix]

A A B B A YOU WORTHLESS CUNT.

[kellychaos]

You are the same as my "iambic-pentameter spouting" bitch from my eight-grade english class. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! :hidesincloset

[ziggytrix]

[Guitar Woman]

I get more points for seducing a woman

[kellychaos]

There once was a cat named Ziggytrix
Who pulled his jack from the music-mix
He'd hit on the lasses
With yellow-tinged glasses
He's likely to get more dicks than chicks

P.S. Who stole my lip gloss!

[ziggytrix]

WTF is this 9 9 6 6 8 bullshit?!

i hope you enjoy this haiku i wrote in modified kellychaos meter:

shut the fuck up

[kellychaos]

There once was a poster named Kahl
Whose views were all over the dial
He lacked the succint
But he's pretty in pink
Which makes him just my kind of gal

[Guitar Woman]

STICK A BASTARD IN IT, YOU CRAP

[Dr. Fu]

There once was a doctor named Foo
Whose posts were as worthless as poo
He liked top ramen
Sliph-to pah me an ten
The epitome of Ragu.

[sadie]

ooh! do one for me, kelly!

[kellychaos]

She who defies definition
Lame dogma and rote tradition
The Mrs. name is Sadie
And I'm thinking that maybe
Kevin'll have her barefoot and tied to the kitchen

[Dr. Fu]

Originally Posted by ziggytrix

WTF is this 9 9 6 6 8 bullshit?!

i hope you enjoy this haiku i wrote in modified kellychaos meter:

shut the fuck up

I seriously spewed orange slurpee all over my pants. Now they're all sticky.

[kellychaos]

It was nine!!

[glowbelly]

i like this thread - dr fu

[kellychaos]

The first post of Glow's I saw was this
A long, knobby dildo with a twist
She proudly displayed it
And soon after stated
If my boyfriend knew, then he'd be pissed


I can do better but to encompass all that IS Glowbelly, I will need more time.

[sadie]

Originally Posted by kellychaos

Kevin'll have her barefoot and tied to the kitchen

actually, he often makes me leave the kitchen. he wants to be the one cooking, so i don't have to be. :O

[kellychaos]

Ode To OAO, Par Un

I can get GFs by the number
And leg-humping tristes in the summer
All this sex I'll defer
Because what I prefer
Is the intellectual hummer


Ode To OAO, Par Deux

Ahhh, anarcho-capitalism
Mirror-side handfuls of jism
An extreme ego size
And freakishly large thighs
But please, pedo-eroticism?

[kellychaos]

Ode To Chojin

Seeming master of elocution
And DDR, Dance Revolution
Cunning bastard so smug
An androgynous mug
An I-Mockery institution

P.S. Rumours that I'm gay for this elfin, waif-like creature have been grossly exaggerated.

[kellychaos]

Originally Posted by sadie

actually, he often makes me leave the kitchen. he wants to be the one cooking, so i don't have to be. :O

Wouldn't wan't you stepping on any glass that might break in the kitchen ... what with your bare feet et al. :P

[kellychaos]

Requests are being taken on a first-come, first-serve basis. Welcome!

[Dr. Fu]

This reminds me of the time a bull kicked me in the testes.

Sans the kicking or the bull, though.

[The One and Only...]

Originally Posted by kellychaos

Ode To OAO, Par Un

I can get GFs by the number
And leg-humping tristes in the summer
All this sex I'll defer
Because what I prefer
Is the intellectual hummer


Ode To OAO, Par Deux

Ahhh, anarcho-capitalism
Mirror-side handfuls of jism
An extreme ego size
And freakishly large thighs
But please, pedo-eroticism?

I love you too.

[kellychaos]

Not if I see you first, you leg freak!