A Review
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Originally Posted by CynicalDave
Well, I need to vent. First of all, this site rules all....
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Allready, you have won my heart! this meathod is a fantastic way to get your foot in the door! Good work, and you have only just started!
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I CANNOT STAND PEOPLE! PERIOD!
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Now this, I like a lot. The all-caps/exclamation points make it look like your shouting, and this must mean that you REALLY REALLY, don't like people! Now I admit, I saw your name "CynicalDave" and I thought "I bet that this guy isn't Cynical at ALL!" but now I know the truth, you are in FACT, VERY VERY cynical.
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They seem to spew shit from there mouth faster than a horse shits....and people, you know that horses shit alot. They can't seem to mind their own buisness!!!
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Now, I actually did NOT know how much a horse shits, so reading this actually taught me something new, and very few of the Visionary Darkness articles here on the site have done that. Also, it mentions shit, and that just tickled me the pinkest shades of pink. Shit comes out your butt!!
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All I hear is:
"Im going out with Mr.X but i am secretly fucking Mr. Y on the side"
I could care less....
"I dont think John loves me anymore"
Get a dildo....or better yet go on a suicidal rampage...
"I think im gay."
Ok, now im gonna shoot you........
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YOU COULD CARE LESS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S LOVE LIVES! this is wonderful, and it shows how much you REALLY can't stand people. The dildo reference had the same effect that the shit reference had on me earlier, so you just keep the laughs coming! Also, I think it's safe to say that we all absolutely can't stand gays. I mean, how fucking gross is that?? They have sex with other men! And don't you notice how they are ALWAYS trying to suck your cock? This is something we can ALL relate to (except women, but all women are secretly bisexual anyway, HOT MAMA!!!
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People don't get it. No one really cares what you think, or whether John doesn't love you. Wake up.
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WAKE UP. I like that.
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All anyone ever cares about any more is themselves. Seriously.
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SERIOUSLY. Now you're moving off the laugh route that got our attention and you're REALLY driving the point home. I like that a lot... lets keep reading.
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Everyone has become selfish bastards. Oh you may think your doing a good deed by donating $1 a month to some poor ass African boy, but really your doing it because you don't want feel guilty, therefore making it even more selfish......how bout instead of paying off some company so they can laugh their asses off that they're getting money from poor suckers like you, you actually go to Africa and help people if your feeling that guilty.
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REALLY getting your point across here about selfish people, and I like that. But you should consider adding a reference to Sally Struthers, perhaps a calous remark about her "fat ass," just to keep the laughs coming for those who might be impatient and decide to tune out. Just something to consider!
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Well enough of that, i hate one thing even more. People who put up dumb quotes on their profiles or who attach gay signatures that contain dumb quotes such as:
"Smoke a smoke not a butt....Fuck a virgin not a slut."
Honestly, does that really matter anymore? Everyone will have AIDS by the year 2010 anyway, so get used to it.
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I'm sorry, but that quote made me laugh till my sides hurt, perhaps you could use another quote? :/ But I like your point about everybody having AIDS by 2010. You have a very sassy outlook on life and it makes me crack up!
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well thats all I got....but what I hate even more is gay handles and MSN sign in names such as (Dumbass friends on my contact list):
"Rock Rock to the beat y'all"
This guy is a moron....
"Da Funk 101"
Ok that just sucks ass
"GigglyPuff03"
Ok do I even need to explain how gay that is?
"go to hell, you dumb selfish perverted asshole"
Ok thats mine, and you must admit that that one rules.....
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Hahah, those handles ARE gay! and your handle is VERY funny. It reminds me of some other handles I've seen, such as "your stupid and I don't like your face" and "I hate you because I hate people" and "Shut up you bitch you talk too loud," too name a few. I love cynical, rude handle names like this!
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Nuff of that......what else can I rant about........oh yes!
GEORGE "Dubhya" BUSH !
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HAHAHA, oh man, here we go! This is the kind of thing that REALLY lets people know that they are in for a comic treat!
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This guy is a complete moron.....i swear he must be the biggest retard on the face of the planet. He is so apt on killing one figurehead. My god, i swear he will make the human race extinct....i mean this guy controls tons of nucular missles, and hes telling a small little country to disarm because they are a potential terror threat? Comon, Dubhya, pick on someone your own size. Its like saying that Canada has the most elite Army in the world! ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.....ok that made no sense....and now im tired.......
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Now, first you started up with the president Bush stuff, which is ALL great, you can never get enough of that (That guy REALLY is stupid!), but then you end it with a canada joke! It was almost too much for me to take! Maybe you should say something about them not having tanks, instead they have mooses? I don't know, I'm not the comedy writer here!
Now this next bit, I just gotta split up to show you what went through my head when I was reading it...
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COMMENTS? SUGGESTIONS? QUESTIONS? QUERIES?
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"Hmmm, I think I can help this guy out a bit..."
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...I DONT CARE
ALL MESSAGES WILL BE SCOWLED AND THEN LAUGHED AT
Take care,
CYNICALDAVE
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D'OH!! I guess I've written this whole post in vain! Damn!
At least you've proven to live up to your name, eh?
All in all, a great article, and it REALLY fits in with the attitude of the site! Hopefully you take some of my suggestions to heart, you could make it even better!
Cheers from your fellow Mocker,
Jixby Phillips
I just noticed he corrected his spelling of "inbred" in his signature, but now managed to misspell "cheese", "Celine Dion" and "worshipping".
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