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Protoclown · #1

Ninjavenom, it has come to my attention that you have a quote:

Girl: Why are you wearing combat boots?
Proto: Because I'm prepared to see a lot of action! OH YEAH! *gyrate hips toward girl*

in your signature that is falsely attributed to me. I have never said, nor would I ever say any such thing. I have found that this has been extremely damaging to my reputation and has led me to become the laughing stock of several groups I "run" with. In fact, I even got my buttocks soundly pummeled at the grocery store by someone who falsely interpreted this statement as my own.

I am writing now to warn you, sir, that you will be hearing from my lawyer regarding this defamation and "gaying up" of my character.

Thank you for your time.

Protoclown

Ninjavenom · #2

Dearest Protoclown:

I have spoken with my lawyer, and he has brought it to my attention that the "Proto" in question may or may not be the same exdperimental prototype jester that i am speaking with now, as there may or may not be several of said jokers. He has also advised me that in order to lure out the appropriate clown with whom to speak, i should continue to not only use said signature, but i should place the object in question into bright yellow, pink, or red coloring. Furthermore, i am prepared to offer a countersuit in which i will be suing you for unlawful use of the copyrighted words "and", "the", and "boot". You'll be receiving a notice in the mail shortly. Failure to comply with this will indicate an overwhelming amount of guilt on all charges, and you will be sentenced to thirty years at Sodomy Hill State Penitentiary.

Yours Truly,

Ninjavenom