Why Emo Kids Suck

[fat_tony]

Ok, I know what you all are asking yourself... "Why does this fellow Fat Tony hate Emo kids? Surely he doesn't mean those cute and loveable things we see at the mall?" Yes I mean those kids, and you know what... They are horrible horrible kids...

First and formost the music they listen to is dreadful, Dashboard Confessional, The Used, New Found Glory, Rufio, The Ataris... THEY ALL SUCK ASS!!! It is all false advertising, if you saw these guys walking down the street one might think, "Hey look at these Tatooed Fellows... They look mean, I bet they are in a band... And I bet that band ROCKS!!" Well sorry kiddos hate to dissapoint you, singing songs about love and how much you miss your girlfriend from 8th grade isn't rocking nor is it music; It is bad 9th grade poetry.

And these guys have the balls to actually think they are "Hard Core" and they claim to know how hard it is to be a "Kid"... Have you seen these douche's? Most of them are in there mid-twenties, sorry Bruno but you aint a kid anymore, in fact why the hell are you still singing about all the michevious and lovable things you did when you were 16? I don't care! You know who does care? The 13 year old girls who listen to your music.. Thats who cares.

IF you ask any of there fans why they are Emo they will probably blow some smoke up your ass telling you about how badly they got there "Hearts broken and bloobity blah blah." KID YOU ARE ONLY LIKE 18! How badly does your heart have to get broken to start listening to crap and getting those dreadful Spock haircuts?

I mean ok, so Suzy Q said she didn't want to go to Prom with you, that is soooo horrible, I think you better start dressing in Golf Shirts and wearing tight slacks and carrying a note book *You know to keep your thoughts in* because you know you got your heart broken sooo bad... I mean it doesn't compare at all to the guys who have been marryed for 20 years and catch there wife in bed with Otto the Cable Guy... No not having a date to the boxed social is way worse then that... Little whiny bitches.

And there whole reason behind this is a game. I have known a lot of emo kids, all there intentions are the same... Act like a wounded boy who has been scorn by a ex-girlfriend (If one even exists) and then usually girls fall for there "I am soooo sad act." It is fucking pathetic and degrading to woman, you fucking pricks should be ashamed of yourselves.

And since when did Tattoos become so fucking emo? I remember when anyone who got a tattoo or gauged ears were fucking scary.. "WHOOO don't fuck with that guy he has a tattoo!!" Know you have these fucks with gauged ears and tattoos of birds and tribal symbols and all sort of lame shit they are going to regret 10 days from now.... Not to mention 10 years from now.

Now I know I am going to get crucifyed by any Emo kids on this board and I say, Bring it on... I know what I am talking about, I have alot of Emo friends, and I know there favorite Movies, music, food... Most of whom are also Vegans which makes them weak x 2
because well Vegans are fucking stupid, and a Emo Vegan is even worse.

So please Emo kids, stop making such crap music... Please, I want to hear some good music.

[ScruU2wice]

i read the whole thing imagining the voice of a 39 year old plumber saying it, and i missed the point of the whole thing. thats the guy from aqua teens under ur name right?

[fat_tony]

Yeah that is Carl from ATHF... There was really no point to the story it is just me saying how fucking lame Emo music is.

[The Retro Kat]

"No, the real point is I don't give a damn."
"Is your ego satisfied?"
"Damn no!"

[Ooner]

I didn't read Tony's post because it's long and looks boring.

I'm glad emo kids cry a lot though.

[Grande]

Aw come on fat_tony, its not these poor hapless souls faults that theyre being sucked into a vortex off whiny pussy baby bands. its their gym teachers faults, for riduculing them when they couldnt even do one single pull up.

(8bit D&D)

[The Retro Kat]

You've had a shady past, eh?

[Ninjavenom]

They may be annoying as hell, but emo girlies sure know how to dress.

[Ooner]

Emo girls have bad hair.

[jin]

This is how a real Bigot disses Emos.

"Ok, 10, Ok!"

Time for the show!

Fuck you trendy hippies because today it is time for...



For all of you who dont know what an "emo" is, go to your local starbucks and look for anyone wearing dorky fucking glasses and/or bad hair (ie. no style or a shittly little mohawk of some type) and ask them if they support multinationals.
If they say "yes" then they are lying so beat them to death with their own goddamn ugly little clunky shoes. If they say "no" well, in that case they are an emo so beat them to death with their own goddamn ugly little clunky shoes.

EMOS DESERVE TO DIE.



What is this jewish bullshit of theirs exactly???

What the mudda bitch???

Come on What the fuck is with this "We arent trendY! Look at us! We arent in style or fashion or alike to anyone else in any way!" fucking mentality??? YOU ALL LOOK AND ACT THE FUCKING SAME YOU SHEEP. Dont you all fucking get it? In your mad trendy rush to just hook onto whatever the newest anti-fashion is - YOU ALL BECAME THE SAME.

Yall have the SAME FUCKING HAIR. SAME FUCKING CLOTHES. SAME FUCKING CLICHE BULLSHIT-RIDDLED POEMS. SAME FUCKING DORKY GLASSES. YOU HAVE ALL BECOME THE SAME FUCKING PERSON.

Just because you buy your shit at 2nd hand taiwan plague closeout stores and get your hair fucking cut by some dylsexic retarded who shouldnt even be allowed NEAR scissors in the first fucking place, DOESNT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT OR SPECIAL IN ANY WAY IF EVERY BLOODY OTHER "EMO" PERSON IS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING.



What the fuck is with all this "anti-establishment" bullshit they pretend to stand for anyway???

"ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT"?

What the fuck???

I dont get it.

You dont like any businesses which are big... just BECAUSE they are big?

ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED??????

You must be, because every fucking thing you do has been affeected in some way by that establishment you fucking claim to hate.

If their was no "establishment" who would produce your fucking "Greatest Pokla Hits Mixed with the sounds of bad poetry and rain noises" CDs yall so LOVE to FUCKING BUY??? Who would SELL them??? WHAT THE BULLSHIT GAY???

You suppose those "untrendy" clothes just fucking sewed themselves without any thai child labour involved???

And that MAD UNPOPULAR magazine you read with the current subscribership of 10 BAJILLION Emos is just created outta THIN MOTHERFUCKING AIR HUH DIM WIT???

What the ****** kike???

HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE YALL?!!!!



EMOS! You are all fucking clones you dumb kike bitches!YOU.ARE.ALL.CLONES.

I FUCKING HATE YOU AND IM GOING TO FIND YOU AND FUCKING KILL YOU.

You listen to your mad "Dork" music and dress all fucked up because THAT IS THE CURRENT TREND AND STYLE. Not because YOU ARE SPECIAL.

Although you all ARE "SPECIAL", "SPECIAL" in the HEAD you fucking jews.

I listen to your fucking music, Yeah, its real fucking mad.

"Blah blah blah, I lost my job, im ugly, im stupid, i have no girlfriend, i like to cry, blah blah blah."

THATS FUCKING BRILLIANT, GENIUS. Did i ever mention that i cared??? HOW ABOUT - YOU HAVE RABIES You fucking mexican motherfucker? Cause thats all it sounds like TO ME.

But wait, theres a sure-fire cure to your problem! its a little method called SUICIDE - y'heard of it ******? JUST GO FUCKING DIE.

Stop your whiny White-boy fucking whinging and whining about this and that bullshit and take off your ugly glasses and flatten that fucking mohawk bullshit and GET A LIFE FUCKER.

Are you going to CRY now ive said MEAN THINGS TO YOU???

Bitch fucker.

EMOS = DIE.

- This is an extract from "the JIN* channel" on a different website. It is not intended to be taken seriously, and is done in satire.

PS. Except for the true parts.

haEhaEHhaEhahEhaHEhaHEhae

[ScruU2wice]

wow

that was the best, most organized, attack on emo i've ever seen, if i ever had the vaguest hint of ever turning emo you've destroyed it...