Starbuck's sucks

[sakura]

I went in tonight for a turtle frappe... it's basically a mocha frappe but with caramel. I'm not too much of a coffee person, so a friend introduced me to those and I fell in love - and since the grocery store coffee shop (that sells awesome frappes) was closed, I decided to stop on my way home from Lackluster Video.

I pick up a grapefruit IZZE (I much prefer Fizzy Lizzy, but I guess it's the most natural carbonated glass-bottled soda they figured would compare) and tell the guy at the counter I want a turtle frappe.

He starts to laugh and feigns confusion and astonishment at something (who the hell knows what), stumbling over "um's..." and I just glare at him and shake my head in an effort to prompt him to spit out what the hell's wrong. Am I not doing it right? Is one who approaches the counter an alien entity if they fail to sidle in from the right instead of left? He asks the coffee preparer if she's ever heard of a turtle frappe.

???

She's looking at me and asking: "I think...no, wait, does it have caramel? I don't think we have a turtle frappe.... I don't know if it has vanilla in it. Does it have this, that, this? We don't get many orders for those. We almost never make them. Noone really asks for them. What should I make you?"

What I fuckin' ordered. What the fuck do I know what goes in it exactly? YOU make the coffee.

While the giggly gay cashier announces he's going to ask the shadowy figure from the back office what it is, I tell the maker to nevermind. She asks me what she should make me. A turtle frappe? How about a mocha frappe and she'll add some extra vanilla? In other words, they're either too damn lazy to complete an order or they honestly have no fucking clue how or what to make that's on their menu.

I remember working crappy snack, novelty beverage, and fast-food jobs and wanting to tell customers they couldn't have something cuz it was too much effort to make. I probably should've asked for the manager, or still, could call tomorrow and rip someone a new asshole. But then I remembered why I never go to Starbuck's unless a friend drags me in there.

[WhiteRat]

Was it even on the menu?

[Guitar Woman]

great

[executioneer]

sakura no offense but i don't ever want to read another of your posts or see your gross avatar again so you're going on my ignore list now

[Pub Lover]

I have similar problems getting Black Coffee. Surely coffee with nothing but coffee should be the default easiest to make drink ever, but I always get a look like I slapped them & then they ask if I want something in it.

Then they charge too much & I'd rather not take their coffee but I really need some coffee to get through the day, and then I get outside and find they did put some dam cinnamon or shit in there and I'm far too angry to trust myself to go back in and try again.

[Chojin]

oh come on willie ;<

It's kinda hard to begrudge a franchise of anything for having shitty employees, though; that's not exactly the company's fault. What geniuses should they be hiring to jerk coffee?

[Guitar Woman]

I can blame them for their prices being fucking ludicrous, though, right?

[Vanhelm13]

I feel your pain pub lover.
Try McDonalds, their coffee is a lot cheaper, and while not as delicious, they won't taint your black coffee with cinnamon or cream or milk or hot French semen.

and you can live with supporting shameless capitalism, right?

[Sethomas]

It's kinda hard to begrudge a franchise of anything for having shitty employees, though; that's not exactly the company's fault. What geniuses should they be hiring to jerk coffee?

Geniuses like WhiteRat? Certainly a good start!

[Spruce Moose]

Thank God for Dunkin' Donuts. Cheaper than Starbucks, far better tasting coffee than Starbucks, and would you look at those Donuts!

I go to Starbucks once a year for a Peppermint Mocha(the thing worth the price). I still refuse to succumb to their ludicrous sizing system. I've yet to run into someone getting huffy over me asking for a "small".

McDonald's coffee varies wildly from store to store. Conisdering the price, it's usually worth a shot.

[WhiteRat]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

It's kinda hard to begrudge a franchise of anything for having shitty employees, though; that's not exactly the company's fault. What geniuses should they be hiring to jerk coffee?

Geniuses like WhiteRat? Certainly a good start!

Oopsies!

[MetalMilitia]

To be honest, if you go into a shop and order something called a "turtle frappe" you deserve everything you get.

[ZAKO the GREAT]

i think it would be easier if you just order "MOCHA FRAPPE WITH CARAMEL" instead of "TURTLE FRAPPE". it's just like going in to a KFC and ask for a McChicken sandwich.

[Geggy]

a local news reporter did an social experiment with coffee shops and their coffee. she brought 6 cups of coffee, 3 cups of dunkin donuts and 3 cups of starbucks, to a fire station in boston and set them on a dining table. she asked for 3 firemen to pick out their coffee. all three firemen picked out dunkin donuts coffee. so yeah starbucks suck, and their coffee burns my throat.

[Spruce Moose]

Originally Posted by Geggy

a local news reporter did an social experiment with coffee shops and their coffee. she brought 6 cups of coffee, 3 cups of dunkin donuts and 3 cups of starbucks, to a fire station in boston and set them on a dining table. she asked for 3 firemen to pick out their coffee. all three firemen picked out dunkin donuts coffee. so yeah starbucks suck, and their coffee burns my throat.

While it's perfectly logical to pick Dunkin' over Starbucks, isn't New England traditionally biased toward Dunkin' in the first place?

[Dr. Boogie]

Hey, it's a social experiment, not a scientific one.

[MarioRPG]

I still don't appreciate that a TALL is a SMALL.

[Tadao]

Ordering a turtle frappe should be a kin to ordering a rooty tooty fresh and fruity, which is a kin to getting your face stomped on.

[Spruce Moose]

Originally Posted by MarioRPG

I still don't appreciate that a TALL is a SMALL.

That's why I continue to defy their naming convention. The day they hesitate even for a second when I order a small is the day before the day you see me on national television for the ensuing outburst.

[MattJack]

4 dollar cups of coffee, god bless amuurica!

Luckily I like my coffee like I like my women.. sweetened with 2 packs of splenda and with a little bit of milk.

[Zomboid]

Originally Posted by MattJack

4 dollar cups of coffee, god bless amuurica!

Luckily I like my coffee like I like my women.. ground up and in the freezer

fixed.

[Spetsnaz]

So....umm... I take it NONE of you guys are fans of OWNING an actual COFFEE MACHINE?

[MetalMilitia]

Originally Posted by MattJack

Luckily I like my coffee like I like my women.. Full of beans!

[MattJack]

lol Zomboid

not so much lol on MM

[MetalMilitia]

Originally Posted by MattJack

Luckily I like my coffee like I like my women.. they're grrrreat!