Secret Agent G
Starring Figarou the Shape Shifting Singing Speckled Bass, and George
Theme Music: Bwah bermp a dermp, buh-nuh, Bwah bermp a dermp, buh-nuh, Bwah bermp a dermp, buh-nuh, Bwah bermp a dermp, buh-nuh, Bwah bermp a dermp, buh-nuh , YEAH!!
Scene 1: George in filthy living room shooting up with Heroin.
George(crying)
Oh Yeah! I love sitting in my fithy, empty house shooting Heroin and having no friends! I am gonna shoot lots and lots of Heroin. Maybe I will die and no longer be in misery. If only God had seen fit not to kill everyone I love, maybe then I would be happy.(audience: awhhhhhhhhh)
Figarou(muffled)
Hmf hur hone hault
George(eyes bulging in terror)
OMG who said that? I am all alone here. Who is talking. John Ashcroft is that you? Did you bring me more heroin John? JOOOOOOOHN!!!!!
Figarou(muffled)
ho hi aughnt han, eht id hi ha ro.
George(running around the one room aprtment until he reaches a pile of underwear)
OMG!! My underwear is talking! Hello underwear! How are you? I am a very miserable man and I only enjoy shooting heroin and talking about bitches. When I used to be younger I really enjoyed getting a good bitch. I will pick you up underwear (picks up underwear). We can go to the nightclub together and get some bitches. Me and my underwear doing some bitches here in my living room, OH YEAH!!!
Figarou(now uncovered and flopping on the ground)
Dude!! Down here! Hey amigo! It is I, Figarou the talking Speckled Bass, How you doing?(audience: laugh)
George(making krazy shocked face)
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOHHHHOOOO WOW! (audience: laughing like crazy)
Figarou(still flopping)
I will sing you a callypso song:
I am Figarou the singing Bass
George likes to poke the bitches ass.
That is fine by me
It is dried sperm that set me free.
It came off George’s underwear
May also have also been some poop in there.
But now I am a fish with class
I am Figarou, the Shape Shifing Singing Bass!
George(stunned)
WoW! I really like callypso music. It makes every day seem like Black History Month!
Figarou(with a conspirators wink)
IT SURE DOES!!! (audience: Roaring with laughter)