Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
Reload this Page God Bless America
FAQ Members List Calendar Today's Posts

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
Schimid's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Maryland
Schimid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:06 AM        God Bless America
Alright, so, I'm at the mall with my friends one night and my other friend shows up. She's got this friend with her, and that friend is fucking gorgeous. We share a few glances here and there, and she bites my shoulder.

Later on, we really start flirting. She steals my old, beat-up hat, and I steal her purse and walk around with it. She tackled me but couldn't get it away and she was tooootally feeling me up OMG

Later on, after a small "ordeal" about my hat, I let her have it and say "You're lucky you're so cute " and we both go home. In the car with my friends, I find out she is going out with some Arabian guy who I've known for about seven years. She's been going out with him for a year and a half.

I was sad

But then, not an hour and a half later, I find out she's going to dump him.

I'm seeing her again tomorrow. She's gonna wear my hat. :D

EDIT - oh, yeah, and add input and your own experiences about rescuing fair damsels from sand monkeys.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
AChimp AChimp is offline
Resident Chimp
AChimp's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The Jungles of Borneo
AChimp is probably a real personAChimp is probably a real person
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:13 AM       
Kudos to you, Schimid! You have saved her from the heathen Mohammedan and his (possibly) uncircumsized penis!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Perndog Perndog is offline
Fartin's biggest fan
Perndog's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Snowland
Perndog is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:15 AM       
What happened to the girl who made you the Nintendo origami?

And Muslims are always circumcised.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
theapportioner theapportioner is offline
Mocker
theapportioner's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
theapportioner is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:17 AM       
Careful though, he might go into one of those Arab rages and administer some Islamic justice, which would probably involve getting your penis severed.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
Schimid's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Maryland
Schimid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:20 AM       
That girl that made the Nintendo origami, that relationship went out with a whimper because she turned into a self-centered bitch. She's the biggest bitch I know of, right now.

Oh well, the home game is a lot cuter anyway.

EDIT - theapportioner, dude, i'm seriously scared of that. not joking.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Brandon Brandon is offline
The Center Square
Brandon's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Migrant worker
Brandon is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:39 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by theapportioner
Careful though, he might go into one of those Arab rages and administer some Islamic justice, which would probably involve getting your penis severed.
If I were the chick I'd be scared of a brutal death by stoning.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
Schimid's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Maryland
Schimid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:43 AM       
The guy's really scrawny and timid, so there really isn't anything to worry about.

Plus, the whole school is on my side, he said we deserved the 9/11 attacks and everyone in my school is a red meat-eatin', tobacco-spewin', warm-blooded American >:o
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Anonymous Anonymous is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Anonymous is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 11:25 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schimid
That girl that made the Nintendo origami, that relationship went out with a whimper because she turned into a self-centered bitch. She's the biggest bitch I know of, right now.
Nintendorigami will do that to a person.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
The One and Only... The One and Only... is offline
Mocker
The One and Only...'s Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Harlem
The One and Only... is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:04 PM       
Scrawny, timid... he's the guy flying a plane into your house.
__________________
I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all is vanity and a chase after wind.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
executioneer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
executioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contest
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:06 PM       
is that an army of darkness reference

-willie
__________________
[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Jason Jason is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Illinois
Jason is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:16 PM       
Sorta how I met my girlfriend.
__________________
'What difference does this difference in age make, I know how it ends so kill me quick!'
-Sudden Death In Carolina-Brand New
Reply With Quote
  #12  
AChimp AChimp is offline
Resident Chimp
AChimp's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The Jungles of Borneo
AChimp is probably a real personAChimp is probably a real person
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:55 PM       
My hopes that every response in this thread would contain "penis" have been dashed.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
Schimid's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Maryland
Schimid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:07 PM       
We're seeing a movie today. It might be Peter Pan or something. I told her to hold my hand so I don't get scared of the pirates in the movie.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Royal Tenenbaum Royal Tenenbaum is offline
Senior Member
Royal Tenenbaum's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Winterpeg
Royal Tenenbaum is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:48 PM       
The only pirate there will be you! A pirate of Arabian people's girlfriends. We've taken there oil, now there women!?
__________________
"Well, I hear that Laurel Canyon is full of famous stars, But I hate them worse than lepers and I'll kill them in their cars."
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Matt Harty Matt Harty is offline
Dirty Girl
Matt Harty's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: CLIT
Matt Harty is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:30 PM       
They're all going to end up exploding so why even bother with women?
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
Schimid's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Maryland
Schimid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:35 PM       
Holy shit, I just now noticed that this whole thing is like an episode of Kid Notorious, except the girl isn't Arabian.

Fuck.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
ProfessorCool ProfessorCool is offline
Senior Member
ProfessorCool's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Chicagoo
ProfessorCool is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:36 PM       
Please say you got away with a couple of the nintendorigamis in that past relationship.
__________________
"Italians are good plumbers because we can use our grease to take care of nasty clogs" - Rongi
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
Schimid's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Maryland
Schimid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:37 PM       
No. Just as I was leaving her house for the last time, I saw the one thing she made, Toad, crushed on the floor.

Reply With Quote
  #19  
ProfessorCool ProfessorCool is offline
Senior Member
ProfessorCool's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Chicagoo
ProfessorCool is probably a spambot
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:38 PM       
Game Over

But don't fret schimid, the real princess is in another castle!
__________________
"Italians are good plumbers because we can use our grease to take care of nasty clogs" - Rongi
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Rongi Rongi is offline
NEW FACE IN HELL
Rongi's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: POOF
Rongi has joined BAPE's armyRongi has joined BAPE's armyRongi has joined BAPE's armyRongi has joined BAPE's armyRongi has joined BAPE's armyRongi has joined BAPE's armyRongi has joined BAPE's army
Old Jan 18th, 2004, 05:32 PM       
Schimid I seriously think he's going to send you a letter saying "Congradulations on getting the girl" and it will have anthrax in it
__________________
ill fuck that bitch so hard in 10 years she'll crack her back and remember my dick - kahljorn
Reply With Quote
  #21  
DamnthatDavid DamnthatDavid is offline
Puddle Pirate! ARRRR!
DamnthatDavid's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: The Oregon Dunes.
DamnthatDavid is probably a spambot
Old Jan 20th, 2004, 03:23 AM       
Crazy Foreigners... I say, lets close our boarders.
Hell, I'll ride boarder patrol along Mexico for free, as long as they provide the guns.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Brandon Brandon is offline
The Center Square
Brandon's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Migrant worker
Brandon is probably a spambot
Old Jan 20th, 2004, 03:57 AM       
OH, FUCK THAT DAVID.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Perndog Perndog is offline
Fartin's biggest fan
Perndog's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Snowland
Perndog is probably a spambot
Old Jan 20th, 2004, 12:15 PM       
I did boarder patrol once. A bunch of us skiers went around the mountain looking for boarders and roughing them up.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Big Papa Goat Big Papa Goat is offline
Mocker
Big Papa Goat's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Missouri
Big Papa Goat is probably a spambot
Old Jan 21st, 2004, 12:47 AM       
Skiing is for fags
Reply With Quote
  #25  
ProfessorCool ProfessorCool is offline
Senior Member
ProfessorCool's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Chicagoo
ProfessorCool is probably a spambot
Old Jan 21st, 2004, 12:54 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perndog
I did boarder patrol once. A bunch of us skiers went around the mountain looking for boarders and roughing them up.
I hope you approached them everytime by saying "well, well, well, what do we have here..."
__________________
"Italians are good plumbers because we can use our grease to take care of nasty clogs" - Rongi
Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:20 PM.

I-Mockery.com - Archive - Top

© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.