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cherry · #1

please, go on, ask a stupid question.

As I am training to be a teacher for students aged 12 and over i thought you lot could help me. you play the role of annoying little shit and I have to give a teacher type answer. Apparently when you are a teacher you are not allowed to swear or use physical violence to control your class, therefore I must investigate alternative options.
now my subject area is philosophy, ethics and religion so there are plenty of stupid questions you can ask.
please remeber that I am not qualified yet and I have a filthy potty mouth.

McMock · #2

Okay. Assuming you're teaching me math, I ask you:

"teacher, what is the square root of a booger?"

The whole class is laughing. You are on the spot. You have to do something or face all of us losing our respect for you.

Dole · #3

Miss! Miss! have you got a boyfriend? Miss! if there is a god why do bad things happen? Miss,why have you got tattoos? Miss, kevin wont stop hitting me....OW! FUCK OFF KEVIN! Miss, have you got a boyfriend? Miss, are you a lezzer then? Why are you a lezzer miss? Why do we have to do this miss?? Its BOOORING! Do you believe in God miss? why? My dad reckons all islam people are terrorists miss. Miss, are you a terrorist? Is that why you have tattoos? Miss, I think kevin has pooed himself.

McClain · #4

Is Jesus your favorite of all the "saviors"? And if so, why aren't students permitted to have sex in the bathroom?

cherry · #5

there is no way I would ever teach math. Here's a lesson some of you may remember, its an English lesson: MATHS.

and to young master Dole,
yes.

I was kidnapped by a band of gypsies who placed their 'angel marks' all over my body. One for every sin.

bad things only happen to bad people which is why Kevin is hitting you.

lezzers dont have boyfriends unless you are in a Kevin Smith film.

we have to do this so that you learn to fear and hate all grown ups.

I believe in a vengeful and spiteful god who smites little boys who ask stupid questions.

and where does your dad live? what time will he be in? what sort of locks do you have on your door?

and Kevin, go to the naughtboys corner and think about what you have done.

see I'm a natural.

cherry · #6

gin is my favourite saviour.

and you can have sex in the bathroom, but only the girls because boys toilets are disease ridden.

McMock · #7

How come you can tell us what to do, and we can't tell you what to do?

Teacher? How come Jimmy is turning purple when he ate a green crayon?

glowbelly · #8

if a bear is screaming profanities in the woods but there is no god around to hear it, will the bear go to heaven or be reincarnated as a tulip?

cherry · #9

soory kids,
my boyfriend and his gang just turned up on their hogs, I'm off to get drunk and have sex with midgets.
just read the bible. you'll be fine.

Dole · #10

Quote:

lezzers dont have boyfriends unless you are in a Kevin Smith film.

Geggy · #11

if i stuck a gun to the ground and pulled the trigger, will the earth explode?

mburbank · #12

What's up with Bonaventura?

Is the X-men a deliberatly oblique instruction in Master Johannes Eckhart's mystic sepeartist movement from within the Dominicans?

Why is it you can longer become a Catholic saint just by being a looney? St. Simon sat on a pole for fourty years without ever coming down once. I hope the miracle was that his poos went somewhere besides the bottom of the pillar.

Can one be Bhuddist if one is adamantly against abandoning personal ego?

Can one be a Bhuddist if one is adamantly against abandoning free internet pronography?

Can one be Bhuddist?

Is Huston Smith in "The Smiths"?

Did you know I Nannyed one of Harvey Cox's sons for a year? And that I belong to he oldest Unitarian Church in America and they don't mind a bit that I'm a Jew? And that Unitarinianism first arose in Transylvania?

If I told you I'd had a lifelong thing for Brittish Women, teachers, and that one of my most powerful crushes was on my highschool theology teacher who wasn't British but was a woman only eight years my senior and that my first love was British and is now assistant headmistress of an English school would that be enough to get me detention?

Spectre X · #13

Quote:

Originally Posted by McMock

Teacher? How come Jimmy is turning purple when he ate a green crayon?

That actually made me chuckle.

Miss, why am I even here? I mean, I'm not even going to remember more than half of the shit we learn here TOMORROW, so how the hell should I be expected to remember this mostly useless information for an entire lifetime?

I mean, I'm not planning on doing anything with maths, so why the hell should I be expected to know how to multiply matrices?

cherry · #14

Geggy we mostly learn through experience so why dont you go ahead and try it sweetheart. you have health insurance right?

Spectre X, multiplying mattresses is a wonderful skill to have. Just think- you could provide places to sleep for the worlds homeless.

oh and Max, see me after school.

AChimp · #15

Does this mole look okay to you?

the_dudefather · #16

was jesus cruxifed on a hill or a mountain?

i asked this question in school when i was 7, when we had to draw a picture of jesus for easter. i got smacked to the ground. seriously.

she didnt even answer me. curse that Mrs Breen

Buffalo Tom · #17

If God is infallible, why did he make the platypus?

Spectre X · #18

Quote:

Originally Posted by cherry

Spectre X, multiplying mattresses is a wonderful skill to have. Just think- you could provide places to sleep for the worlds homeless.

I now realize the error in my ways.

If you'd excuse me, I'm off to build a giant CASTLE out of matresses and live there with my ex-homeless companions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffalo Tom

If God is infallible, why did he make the platypus?

What what WHAT?!

The platypus is the noblest animal in the world!

HickMan · #19

Can I go to the bathroom?

Sethomas · #20

A slit of width 30 microns is illuminated by light of wavelength 5770 angstroms. A screen is placed 4.0 m beond the slit.
A) What is the linear width (edge to edge) of the central diffraction maximum that appears on the screen? (Note: using an equation for linear width is not a satisfactory starting point for this problem.)
B)The entire apparatus {light source, slit, screen} is immersed in a transparent liquid. This causes the 4th diffraction minimum to now appear where the 3rd minimum had appeared before the liquid was added. What is the index of refraction of the liquid?