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Schimid · #1

FUCK this game

FUCK the fact that in the Striker Cup I am UNDEFEATED until elimination play, wherein the FIRST PERSON I FACE drinks a gallon of Michael Jordan's Secret Stuff and knocks me the fuck out

FUCK the fact that, when behind by two points, Toads are enchanted with the ability to make red-ball shots FROM HALF COURT

FUCK this

FUCK this

Schimid · #2

I guarantee this story will warm your heart, though!

I went online later tonight and played a few rounds; my record is 26 and 11, a little bit over 2:1, not too bad. I expected to play someone about my level.

After a few matches with some worthy competitors, I come up against someone named "ino", all lowercase. She has no record, as this is her first game online. She picks Yoshi and I use Waluigi.

Turns out, this very well might've been her first game EVER. I was pulling off 6-ball megastrikes in the center of her half with no interruptions. In the first game I am relentless, getting a 14 - 0 victory. The second game I loosen up a little and she gets a miracle goal from half-pitch by Yoshi, resulting in a 7 - 1 finish.

I leave the game two wins and 40 points richer, and search for another...and, wouldn't you know it, ino shows up again. She picks Peach and I decide to go with my number 2 as well, Diddy. The first game goes very much like the first bout with Yoshi, and I win 12 - 0.

The second game, though, with about 45 seconds left on the clock and an 8 - 0 scoreboard, this girl gives up and starts running the ball into HER OWN goal. To show my appreciation for being such a good sport in the face of such bullshit matching, I quickly steal the ball and jump around with Diddy for a good thirty seconds ("HA-HA, HO-HO, HEE-HEE, YA-HA, YA-HA") and, finally, effortlessly jump over my own goalkeeper.

Then I got the animation where Diddy cries and kicks the dirt...and I lost it.

Noodles · #3

Mario Looks Lke He wants to rape your children

Chojin · #4

Man, that must be a really old screenshot. They don't use real soccer balls :o

Also, let's use this thread to post our friend codes!

Erick: 244920 344852

I'm almost 3:1!

MarioRPG · #5

Geez, I gotta get that adapter thing.

Guitar Woman · #6

The Wii needs an adapter?

Chojin · #7

No, I guess he's either talking about the usb->ethernet adapter so he can wire his connection or the usb->wireless hub adapter so he can broadcast his pc's internet to the Wii.

MarioRPG · #8

I was referring to the former.

SLjimbolian · #9

I enjoy this game, but I fuckin' hate it when some kid uses Hammer Bro. or Toad as cheaply as possible.

Chojin · #10

Toad I can see complaining about, but only idiots complain about hammer bros ;< They're so slow ;<

MarioRPG · #11

I haven't even played online and I find Boo's skill shot gay.

EDIT: Well, I don't have the internets yet but...
8169 9261 2978 6636
EDIT 2: By the way I am a foolish homo.

Chojin · #12

that's your wii code, homo. you need your strikers codde.

Schimid · #13

For some reason, I'm completely fine with people Toadjumping but I HATE IT when people teleport into the goal. I guess I just assume that there's a 1 in 5 chance you'll actually jump the goalie but, honestly, if you time it right you can get it every time. I think it's more because if you run into your goal and wait for him instead of chasing him, you can stop it.

Some asshole was beating me by one with a minute left on the clock and decided to hoarde the ball on his side, passing it around the goalie.

I caught him at the right time and checked the ball into the goal and tied it, then Toadjumped him in sudden death. I made him watch ALL THE REPLAYS.

Chojin · #14

Yeah, I love that you can force people to watch the footage of your amazing triumphs.

GADZOOKS · #15

I'm sorry but Mario 3 on 3 Hoops really soured me on the Mario Sports franchise.

The no wifi stuff was ridiculous! Why would anyone play that game with a person in-person when just shooting REAL HOOPS and going "mama mia" is just as fun and saves money.

MarioRPG · #16

Toadjumping is easy, it's boo-porting that's a bit more challenging.

Schimid · #17

I realized today how much I fucking hate it when people continually resort to the same move over and over.

I mean, yeah, I should get used to it, but when it's THE ONLY GOAL THE GUY MAKES I get really fucking pissed.

Chojin · #18

I still love this game.

Right now may main GANG is Peach/Daisy with two shyguys and a drybones. Shyguys are uncannily good at making shots for some reason, even though they're supposed to be 'balance' characters.

MarioRPG · #19

I agree, Shyguys are pretty awesome. Right down to the victory dance. I always have at least one on my team.

Schimid · #20

My friend and I made up a game of volleyball today.

Two minutes, no shooting, just lob passing. You try to gain control and lob pass it to others...at the end of the game, whoever has the most possession wins.

My friend and I just played, and he accidentally got a goal via lob-passing to Toad while Toad was standing in the net.

Also: I am now officially running with Junior. I really like his special, his character and the fact that he can get an immediate goal.

After playing a bit more online, I encountered a Petey captain with Monty, Monty and Hammer Bro sidekicks (i clobbered him), and a Striker of the Day playing Daisy and three Dry Bones who did literally nothing but underhanded tricks, like constant teleportation and the Defensive player chip-shot (i d/c'ed)

Honestly, how can you defend against that? All four characters are incredibly fast, have high defense, and all of them have a grand amount of SUPER TRICKS. If you don't know your opponent's team, you can't even attempt to counter-match. It's like a three-ring circus, my ONE SLOW CHARACTER holding down my entire team because this fucker is chip-shooting for the eighth time.

Worse than that, I hate the people that say it's bad to disconnect, ever. It's a waste of my time to let Johnny Twinkletoes do his magic for three minutes. I never disconnect on a genuinely good player, only on the ones that only play to win and will stop at nothing to do so. It's just not fun.