Captain America News :-(

[Protoclown]

Yeah, Captain America was shot by a sniper named Crossbones, but that's not what actually killed him. What killed him is that afterwards, he was shot by his former girlfriend, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. who was given a post-hypnotic suggestion by Dr. Faustus, and she shot him point-blank in the gut three times with her handgun, in the middle of a crowd of people, and nobody saw her do it. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, and afterward Red Skull's daughter made her remember that she shot Captain America by using a trigger word, and she was all like "OMG NOOOOOoooooo". Fucking retarded.

And yeah, Aunt May is probably gonna bite it in the next Amazing Spider-Man, which comes out next week, I think. Why Spidey doesn't throttle Tony Stark to death is a mystery to me.