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James James is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2003, 07:47 PM        Best Lines in the History of Movies and Television
For my money, it doesn't get any better than Muppet Treasure Island, when the pirates are getting Cabin Fever. One of them says he's got it, and then another one says "I've got it too!"

Best delivery of a line EVER.
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Old Mar 20th, 2003, 08:39 PM       
In Ghost Dog when Sonny Valerio says "You know, like the rappers." I love that. :/
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Old Mar 20th, 2003, 08:58 PM       
Star Wars - "I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars"
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Old Mar 20th, 2003, 09:33 PM       
"Fuck you granny" - The granny. Said by the grandson right before he does some kinda neck takedown move on her
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Old Mar 20th, 2003, 11:24 PM       
Trinity: Nobody has ever done anything like this before.
Neo: That's why it's going to work.
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Old Mar 20th, 2003, 11:36 PM       
In a Ren and Stimpy episode entitled "The Great Outdoors"

STIMPY: "Oh no, Ren, the red meat pill is for cowboys! Here, how about a nice creamed spinach pill?"

REN (eyes reddening, biting his lip, grabs a pill from Stimpy's hand):
"GIVE ME THAT MEAT PILL! I'm a cowboy."

Not a funny line, but the delivery and the facial expression was priceless.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 12:15 AM       
CHUT UP!
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 12:21 AM       
No no no. Just one line. Not two or three of eight. Just one.

I also nominate the quote in my sig.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 04:33 AM        Re: Best Lines in the History of Movies and Television
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamesman
For my money, it doesn't get any better than Muppet Treasure Island, when the pirates are getting Cabin Fever. One of them says he's got it, and then another one says "I've got it too!"

Best delivery of a line EVER.
Funny you should bring that one up, I popped in my M:TA DVD the day before yesterday just to hear that line a couple of times. Well, that and the 'Ach du lieber Volkswagen car' one. And a few Tim Curry moments of course.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 05:04 AM       
CHUT UP!
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 06:21 AM       
"Swallow this." -Ash, Evil Dead 2.
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Quote:
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everybody knows that pterodactyls hate the screech of a guitar :o
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 10:29 AM       
"You're laser bait, Hitler!" --Schindler's List, the Director's Cut
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 11:40 AM       
Ahhh, where to start?

"All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get" - Mr Blonde.
Either that or "I don't give a good fuck what you know or don't know, I'm going to torture you anyway."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?" - Jules

Right, enough Tarantino shit.

"You, who are without mercy, now plead for it?" - Optimus Prime

"Hicks, man you look just like I feel!" - Pvt. Drake

"What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got, say, pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angels' trumpets and devils' trombones. You are invited!" - Alex from Clockwork Orange. What a pick-up line!

And finally, pretty much anything by Gunnery Sgt Hartman in Full Metal Jacket:
"I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around!"

Then I got bored.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 12:02 PM       
"Now I'm thinking of something orange. Orange...orange...give up? an orange! Haha, get it? Now I'm thinking of something blue. Bloooooooooooooo." --Michael Richards, UHF
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 12:11 PM       
actually, just like Blackjack, I have too many things to really choose from as well. there's the black knight: "Come back here! You yellow...bastards! I'll bite your legs off!" from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. The knights who say NI: "You must cut down the mightiest tree in the woods, with... a herring!"

so much. :/
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin
everybody knows that pterodactyls hate the screech of a guitar :o
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 12:13 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackjack
And finally, pretty much anything by Gunnery Sgt Hartman in Full Metal Jacket:
"I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around!"
that reminds me of brain candy

"Here's the plan. You go over there and fuck them in the ass while we sit here and masturbate!" "Yes Sir!!"
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 12:46 PM       
Hmm....way too many to list. Here are a few of my favorites.

"There is no Dana. Only Zuul." Dana, Ghostbusters

"Wise man say, 'Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.'" Mikey, TMNT

"They're all dead. They just don't know it yet." Eric Draven, The Crow

"It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, cause Kansas is going bye-bye." Cipher, The Matrix

"Pack your bags. We're going to Memphis." Frylock, ATHF

Dude, Baghdad is getting lit up right now. I'm cutting this short.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 01:05 PM       
Bad Dudes: "The president has been captured by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue him?"

edit: I know it's not movie or television, but it's still the best damn line ever.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 01:20 PM        Bit longer than a single line...(I find the bad grammer fun)
Lister: Where is everybody Hol?
Holly: There dead Dave!
Lister: Who is?
Holly: Everybody Dave!
Lister: What Captain Holester?
Holly: Everybody Dave!
Lister: What Todd Hunter?
Holly: Everybody Dave!
Lister: What Selby?
Holly: There all dead, every bodies dead Dave
Lister: Peterson isn't; Is he?
Holly: Every bodies dead Dave!
Lister: Not Chen
Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes Chen Everybody. Every bodies dead Dave!
Lister: Rimmer?
Holly: Yes Rimmer. Everybody is dead. Everybody is dead Dave!
Lister: Wait; Are you trying to tell me every bodies dead?
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 02:00 PM       
"I wave my gentitalia at you, you stupid English knigets! I fart in your general direction!" - the French guard, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Dave." - HAL 9000, 2001, a Space Oddesey.

"Thank you" - Robocop, just before he blows that CEO or something guy into a bloody mess.

"I am now authorized to use physical force." - ED-209, Robocop.

"Hail to the king baby." - come on, you all know this one.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin
everybody knows that pterodactyls hate the screech of a guitar :o
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 03:00 PM       
"Beat him."-Lawrence of Arabia

"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is a WAR room!"-Dr. Strangelove

"Rosebud...."-Citizen Kane

"Can I call you 'mom'?"- The Return to Oz

"They call me Mister Tibbs!"- In the Heat of the Night

"Don't point that beard at me, it might go off."- Marx Brothers movie that I forgot the name of.
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 03:20 PM       
"don't you see the hat? I'm misses Nesmit!" - Toy Story

"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands" - Legally Blonde

"First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?" - Donnie Darko
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 03:24 PM       
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 04:19 PM       
"Tell Hitler to slap on his drool cup." The Bad Time Travelling guy from the short lived series TimeCop.

"Well, whoever he was he knew a lot about the A-Team!" George, Seinfeld

"Space Ghost has mastered the five magics!" Moltar, SG:C2C
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Old Mar 21st, 2003, 09:15 PM       
"I've got a fever. And the only perscription. Is more Cow-bell!"
-Walken in SNL B.O.C skit

"I have no pigment. I need sunscreen"
-Not Another Teen Movie
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