Features

Mockery · #1

GO USA! GO USA! Ok, Santa really isn't just an American exclusive. Nope, the jolly old bastard is all over the world, as Max Burbank clearly illustrates in this nice little breakdown.

NEW SHORT: "SANTA CLAUS AROUND THE WORLD!" -by Max Burbank
http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/worldsanta

Enjoy!

executioneer · #2

amazing how many countries apparently get presents in their SHOES

Drev · #3

The Krampus was on A Very Venture Christmas last night, and proceeded to whip and hump Dr. Venture. It was hilarious. :o

Supafly345 · #4

I know I am a complete jackass for this, and that nobody gives a shit, but I can't go to sleep tonight untill I say this to somebody:
"All children who have committed one or more infractions of behavior during the last year are hauled from their beds and severely beaten with a wooden switch, or 'Christenspankenzer'." Santa didn't spank the children, it was a smaller man who santa carried around named Black Peter, who also distributed all the coal. According to the news paper he apparently was a furry as well, since the pictures I have seen dipict him with fox ears protruding from the top of his head.

Just over 5% of Japan is christian, and much much more than that follow christian traditions as a fad. But everything from toilet bowls to tacos is a fad over there.

FS · #5

That was funny and informative. I thought the idea of incorporating Saint Nicolas (who was a real guy, a bishop from Turkey) into a children's fest stemmed entirely from the Netherlands and was then brought along to the New World by colonists and was incorporated into Christmas celebration. Considering how many countries have holidays with variations of St. Nicolas, I guess that idea isn't too likely anymore.

Cosmo Electrolux · #6

You're all wrong! Jesus sends Santa and Roy Moore around the world handing out toys to all good CHRISTIAN boys and girls, and rebuking and sodomizing all naughty an/or non CHRISTIAN children......

stupid jerks.......

mburbank · #7

Okay, okay, should I have included a warning that MANY, MANY of the 'facts' in my article are made up? Anyone reading anything I write for I-mock for the information content is barking up the wrong damn tree!

Any actually true facts are used as jumping off points.

I am a lieing son of a bitch.

FS · #8

Well, I figured some were vicious lies, and others were you making fun of actual foreign festivities, since the piece for the Netherlands was more or less right.

I mean, Germany, Croatia and the Czech Republic were based on truths, weren't they? Maybe Luxembourg too? France doesn't count, since it's just England's Father Christmas and he's just a Santa in bad clothes.

I was bemused that you didn't tear into the obvious slave heritage of Black Pete(r).

mburbank · #9

But I did! It's Surinam (since independence) having their sleigh dragged by naked Dutchmen!

I'm just too damn subtle.

No, the whole thing is a mix of facts and fraud.