Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Site Forums > Article Discussion
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Display Modes
MockBot MockBot is offline
MockBot's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: I-Mockery Headquarters, USA
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 03:03 AM        A Brief History Of Valentine's Day
Automatically generated comment thread for A Brief History Of Valentine's Day.
Reply With Quote
Purple Man Purple Man is offline
Purple Man's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Anywhere but the Raft.
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 06:00 AM       
So the Romans got to get bloody and we just give each other cards.

A fine lesson, sir. The moral is, I think: corporate bastards will exploit ancient pagan blood rituals to make money.

Reply With Quote
Styled Executioner Styled Executioner is offline
Styled Executioner's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 06:52 AM       
Ah, Valentines day. Another pointless, money making, shitty holiday. Seriously, what is the point of it. How come it's always the dude's who have to get stuff for the girls (unless you're in a proper relationship, which lets face it, means the last thing on your mind is what to get on Valentines day).

Fuck it, I hate this holiday. I don't even get a day off from College to celebrate it (see: fuck like a rabbit all day).

Jesus wouldn't have wanted this. He really, really wouldn't. Probably.
Reply With Quote
wobzire wobzire is offline
wobzire's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 09:38 AM       
What a coincedence this is. I had planned to slap my girlfriend around with a bloody animal carcass to celebrate the occasion anyhow! Now I don't have to feel weird about it!
Reply With Quote
incognit000 incognit000 is offline
From the Home of MST3K
incognit000's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 09:45 AM       
VAlentine's Day, like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, Secetaries Day, and a bunch of other bullshit days, has been trumped up and largely invented by gift card companies to sell more useless shit by preying upon our feelings.

Fuck corporate holidays.
Reply With Quote
MrEff MrEff is offline
Reality bores me
MrEff's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 10:48 AM       
Trust Christianity to turn another Roman orgy festival into a day of giving cards.
Reply With Quote
Fekupuzi Fekupuzi is offline
Forum Virgin
Fekupuzi's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada, Canada
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 11:58 AM       
You know that our federal government just created a new national holiday? "FAMILY DAY" has ostensibly been decreed in order to give the Canadian public one more day of the year to blow off their jobs and spend time at home with their loved ones.

Family Day.
Reply With Quote
Herratik Herratik is offline
Radio Ninja
Herratik's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno, Nv
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 12:08 PM       
I'm going to print this and read it aloud every Valentine's day. This is better than the "soldiers xmas" email that circulates every freakin year...

My wifes birthday is on the 12th so I pretty much get a free pass for V-Day.
Reply With Quote
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
Colonel Flagg's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 12:31 PM       
Maybe we should all move to Saudi Arabia ...

from CNN: "Saudi Arabia has asked florists and gift shops to remove all red items until after Valentine's Day, calling the celebration of such a holiday a sin, local media reported Monday."

Apparently there is a lucrative black market in roses and candy hearts in Riyadh.
Reply With Quote
Styled Executioner Styled Executioner is offline
Styled Executioner's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 12:36 PM       
And here I am selling arms to African tribes.
Reply With Quote
Jigby Huggletinks Jigby Huggletinks is offline
High Priest of Burbank
Jigby Huggletinks's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 12:44 PM       
Ah... so, to whip with bloody animal hide is a proper celebration?

That sucks, I got arrested for doing that last year. At least this year I've got a case!
Reply With Quote
SunnyD SunnyD is offline
The stealer of Pies
SunnyD's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: El Paso, Texas
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 01:02 PM       
The best part is I know for a fact the thing about the goat carcasses is true. It shows up in the "Julius Caesar" play that Shakespeare wrote.

On that note, I figure I'll just do what I did last year, namely to drink myself to a near deathlike state, much like many of my other friends. It doesn't help having a boyfriend who is currently on the other side of the country.

I did get him some candy, a gift, and a card though......
Reply With Quote
whoareyou whoareyou is offline
Forum Virgin
whoareyou's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 02:10 PM       
I've always hated this damn holiday even though every year I "celebrate" it like all the rest of the brainless masses. Which really means a chance for the wife and I to get out for a few hours without our kids. Personally I think it should be moved to September 12 and be celebrated by giving everyone the day off and having nude parades and giant roaming Roman orgies. For those wondering why September 12 it's Barry White's birthday and the man dedicated his life to getting people laid, he deserves this celebration.
Reply With Quote
El Sammo El Sammo is offline
Can't touch this
El Sammo's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio-Stay away forever
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 04:33 PM       
Ever wonder what the sound of "laugh diarreah" is? My brother and I know.
Oh Max, your articles make the blistering cold outside your window tolerable.
Reply With Quote
Dr. Octogonopus Dr. Octogonopus is offline
Zombie Basher
Dr. Octogonopus's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Austin
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 05:54 PM       
I don't think the last three articles have been as funny as usual. :/
Originally Posted by Asila View Post
Did we wait to storm the beaches of Normandy? NO BUT WE SURE WAITED TO GET IN THAT WAR DIDN'T WE FUCKERS?
Reply With Quote
Nick Nick is offline
Nick's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bama
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 08:45 PM       
I always figured we would have more death rays, freeze rays, shrink rays, and 'Brown Note' generators by now.
Reply With Quote
Count Mek Count Mek is offline
Count Mek's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: London
Old Feb 12th, 2008, 09:15 PM       
Set your death rays to stun!
Cool Article Max!
Reply With Quote
Durin Durin is offline
Durin's Avatar
Join Date: May 2007
Old Feb 13th, 2008, 12:59 AM       
Nick, the problem is that we arn't focusing on one at a time. were spreading our research efforts too thin.
Reply With Quote
beatpole beatpole is offline
Not Another Whipping Boy
beatpole's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Old Feb 14th, 2008, 07:08 PM       
More men should sign valentine's cards with "please try really hard to get your father to not chop off my head."
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:17 AM.

© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.