OFFICIAL: VINCEZEB TO IRAQ FUNDRAISER

[VinceZeb]

Proto, here is why I take such joyous pleasure in making people look like chumps:

1) The internet has allowed people to hide behind masks to be something that they are not. When I was a younging (9th grade), I started to go into that direction. A rude awakening of seeing who was behind all these facades jolted me back into reality. The 'net allows the nerds, geeks, and losers of our society replace something that, in the real world, they should try hard to acquire: A spine.

2) See, what makes people pissed off the most is that I am right about most of my assumptions. If there is one thing the nerds, geeks, dorks, etc. of our society hate, is when reality follows them into the cyber realm and they are put in their place there as well. Now, I don't begrudge anyone on how they want to spend their Saturday night. I had a good night last night, and I only pointed it out because people like to talk shit. I believe when people talk about others that they better have enough behind them to do it. I don't like to brag or be cocky, but I can when the time arises.

I can be either Mr. Party-fun time, or I can sit on my ass and play my Xbox (like I'm doing today). I can go to a bar or sit at home and read a book. I can go to Dave and Buster's or the strip club. I am a multfaceted individual. Play music or watch it. So on and so forth.

Do I act like this when off this board? When circumstances are needed for it. Do I want to be like this even on this board? Not at all. But when I'm challenged in no matter what I do, if it is worth it at least to me, I meet the challenge. This seemed like it would be worth it.

Now, could one day me and you sit down and just have a fun ol time playing Metal Slug in an arcade sometime? Probably. But I only react to people the way I am being reacted to. I am very quick to sterotype because my sterotypes are usually about 80% correct.

I believe I am a very calm cool and collective person, but when it comes to things that are truly important in the world, I can't be. As the great Barry Goldwater once spoke to a crowd: "I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!"

[Anonymous]

I like star trek!

[Protoclown]

Originally Posted by VinceZeb

Your opinon and 3 bucks can buy me a Veggie Delight sandwich at Subway.

OMG!!! VINCEZEB IS JARED!!!

[The_Rorschach]

Your distraction tactics won't work with us Zeb. Instead of typing, I'd suggest you start trying to get some exercises in.


The total with Glowbelly was $325, adding to that:

Italian: $50
Jamesman: $60
Kevin : $10
Chojin's Mom: $20
Proto: $50


Total: $515

If I missed anyone, I apologise.

[VinceZeb]

Rorschach, I went and ran 33 mintues on a elliptical machine on a mountain climbing setting, went through my weight lifting routine, and did my ab work out this morning when I got up. What did you do today? That is what I thought. If you would like a copy of my workout routine, I'd be glad to give it to ya.

Oh yeah, then I paid a visit to your mother and made her drink my cum from a tropical drink glass. I even included the little umbrella!

[theapportioner]

I want to see this lean, mean, fighting machine!

[James]

Originally Posted by VinceZeb

Rorschach, I went and ran 33 mintues on a elliptical machine on a mountain climbing setting

"I went to McDonalds today, but it was on top of a hill. It took me almost a half hour to lug my fat ass up the 20-degree incline."

went through my weight lifting routine

"They made me carry my two trays of food all by myself to my seat."

and did my ab work

"Finally, I had to squeeze my tub of lard I call a stomach into the booth."

Oh yeah, then I paid a visit to your mother and made her drink my cum from a tropical drink glass.

I don't have a translation for this. But it just goes to show how sad "mom" jokes are. Your credibility and worthiness of being acknowledged, while slim to begin with, becomes less and less every time you type a sentence on here.

[Protoclown]

Originally Posted by VinceZeb

If you would like a copy of my workout routine, I'd be glad to give it to ya.

GEE, THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE HIDING IN THE SAME PLACE AS THAT NUCLEAR SUBMARINE LETTER, WOULD IT?

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Originally Posted by VinceZeb

Oh yeah, then I paid a visit to your mother and made her drink my cum from a tropical drink glass. I even included the little umbrella!

Looks like the wives aren't the only ones in trouble when Loose zipper zebby is in town!!!

[AChimp]

Jamesman made me LOL.

Oh, I'd like to donate $500, but after the exchange rate, that become $12.71

[VinceZeb]

This board isn't worth the time to think of a good momma joke. It's existance and the main residence here are a great enough joke enough.

Man, I can see Jamesman now:

*starts to scan the posts on the board*

"OH HO! *Snort* There is a post by VinceZeb!"

Quickly, his stubby fingers fly towards the keyboard so he can be the first to fire off his razor blade sharp wit. The sweat begins to roll off his brow, rolling down his face and onto his supple man-breast.


"Wow, Vince said something about working out! How can use my vast intellectual powers to turn this to something funny!"

Thinking about what he wants to do right now, since he doesn't have car no job because he mooches off his parents, he sees an empty McDonald's chicken nugget box laying on his dirty, unkempt floor! The geek's spine siffens.

"AH HA! I will use a vast McDonald's comeback! That will show HIM! *Snort*"

Quickly, so he can watch the new anime porn he just downloaded, he types out cute one liners about McDonalds. His ass crack gets sweaty as he is flying his chubby fingers along the keyboard, anticipiating the completion of his post so he can go wank off to those beautiful anime women. The women he deserves and would get if they were only real!

"YES! Take that, Vinny!" He chuckles as he begins to unzip his pants.....


"OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" screams one of his mother's younger friends as she opens Jamesman's door.

Jamesman's faux-self esteem is shattered as he sits there, flabby stomach hanging over his penis that you could thread a needle with, ready to masturbate to pictures of women who are not real.

"WAAHHHHHH!!!!" Jamesman runs out the door, pulling his pants up. He then hikes to the only place where that understands him: The local Baskin Robins and then to the local comic/game store.


Now, lets recap Jamesman: I do things, I have a social life. I have responsabilities I take on full handedly. I work out and exercise every day. I eat healthy, because fast food is nothing but fat and oil and sugar, which suprising enough was found on the floor where your tears fell.

Now, Jamesman, would you like to stop trying to act like your superior to me or shall I just keep posting these little truths about yourself? I can stop and ignore your existance (just like the women of the world do), or I can keep going. You decide.

[AChimp]

I have responsabilities I take on full handedly.

I don't think that there's any doubt you take your job as "Semen Extractor" at the local humane society very seriously. It can be very cruel to leave an animal alone with an untreated erection.

[VinceZeb]

Then I guess the ladies of Canada are cruel to you then, huh?

[Protoclown]

Frankly, VinceZeb, I'm apalled that you would make "fat jokes" about Jamesman. First of all, you don't even know if he's fat (if you'd seen his picture you would know that he is not), and secondly, it seems grossly unfair to me that you, a former weight challenged person yourself, would go and make fun of others for the same thing. I cannot believe you would be so insensitive.




you fat fuck

[James]

A "good momma joke" is an oxymoron. Just like a thin Vinnie Zeb.

And didn't you already post a story like that somewhere else? I just skimmed it over and saw it had to do with me and my mom, so I'm not positive. But I am positive your originality is over in Iraq. Go over and get it.

[Anonymous]

[James]

[VinceZeb]

Originally Posted by punkgrrrlie10

YOU GOT TO FEEL BOOBS OMG!!!! YOU ARE SO COOL!!! PAID FOR BOOBS ARE SO COOL! IF YOU PAY A GIRL TO FEEL HER BOOBS SHE WILL LET YOU DO IT!!! WOW, IT MUST'VE BEEN SO DIFFICULT TO GET HER TO LET YOU.

Veggie delight? Are you gay or somethin?

Actually, I didn't pay anything. And not really. I actually didn't want to at first, because it was kind of rude. But then my concept of girls is different I guess (ya know, modest, don't want guys feeling them up, etc).

yes, Veggie Delight. It is low calorie, cheap and tasty. I control the number of calories/fat/carbs I take in every day. I didn't work this hard to lose all this weight so I could end up losing right before I'm about to hit the final lap. And no, I am not gay. No more than you are cool by using the 'uber-kool' grrrrl teeny-hardcore girl cliche.

Chojin, the funny thing is you are taking time out to draw these. That is pretty sad. But we all know someone that is the "Gay Alien Bondage Dog" is the epitamey of 'cool'. I do hope they keep you warm at night, because when the computer goes off, I get to have my nice life that I am enjoying quite much, and your still a loser. So sleep tight with your second rate drawings.

Proto, yep, I am insensitive. I could give a fuck less if I insult anyone on this board. OOOOHHH I am insulting! Wow. Get a life.

[Protoclown]

Oh, I HAVE a life, VinceZeb! And since you mentioned my life, let me give you an unsolicted description of how AWESOME and RADICAL it is! Cowabunga dude!

First off, I've started going to the YMCA so I'm working on getting stronger and whipping my ass into shape. After all, it's not easy to be a "pussyfied idiot misinformed liberal" so I figure I'd better work out so I can put my money where my mouth is and shape up so I can NOT go fight in Iraq because I don't believe this war is just.

And also, I'm eating healthy, counting my calories, carbs, and fat intake. I'm also drinking milk (from your mommas titties! nooch!) which is giving me the calcium to develop strong bones and healthy skin! I'm avoiding fast food now, because that's just full of a bunch of fatty crap that isn't good for you anyway.

And for my friend's birthday last month, me and some other friends went to a strip club and a couple of them chipped in and paid for me to get a lap dance. I didn't want to do it, but it was my money, so I figured "what the hell", you know? But then, the chick who gyrating all over my lap liked me so much she invited me back to her apartment for an all-night, all-out fuckfest! With not just her but several other strippers too! At first I felt bad about it and all, because it went against my 'code of chivalry" to do something so shallow, but they pretty much made me do it! Yep, they tied me to the bedposts and fucked me like a pot-bellied stallion all night long! Hifive! Zaaaaaang! Awwww yeah, you jive turkeys!

So I guess you can see that I have quite an envious life after all. I can understand if you're jealous, and I realize that's really the only reason you disagree with me about anything. Nobody's really that stupid in real life.

Well, I've got to get back to my awesome lifestyle now, the concubines are waiting to oil up my gorgeous bronzed body and feed me grapes while giving me the massage of my life! See you losers later!

[Protoclown]

Oh yeah, and did I mention that the stripper who fucked me all night long was a beautiful black chick? Cuz I wanted to be sure I didn't leave that out, it's real important. Okay, thanks!

[Protoclown]

Oh yeah, and I also got an offer to serve as an office assistant on a yellow submarine. I even got a personalized letter about it and everything!

And if you don't believe me, I can even produce the letter and show it to you. I'd be MORE than happy to scan it in for you so you can see it for yourself.

[Protoclown]

Okay, well I thought about that letter for a minute and realized that I have better things to do than waste my time trying to prove shit to a bunch of fucks on a message board (who I couldn't give a shit what they think anyway), so I'm not going to look for it right now.

Because I think one of my roommates might have thrown it away, but I'm not entirely certain, and I really don't care enough to check. Believe me, these offers are a dime a dozen for a guy like me. I'm constantly getting solicitations from powerful and important people asking for my time, services, and money. And important guy like me tends to be in pretty high demand, let me just tell you.

So I'm sure if I REALLY wanted to I could probably find that letter, but as of right now I can't even really be bothered, even though I just promised that I would produce it as proof. But I don't really care, so now I'm not going to.

See you losers later! I've got a hot "AIM date" tonight with someone who assures me she's a "hot lil' latino chick" so I'm probably going to be out late and pretty busy, if you know what I'm sayin'.

[VinceZeb]

All I have to say is this:

Who did the things that I described this morning last night?

I did.

Who played D&D last night?

You did.


Think thats the end of that argument.

[Protoclown]

Yep. I played D&D last night, that's true. How does that do anything to damage my credibility?

[James]

If anything, it just gives Proto one more point, and you one less.

The bottom line is you're Vinnie Zeb, and we're not. Everything you do is stupid. Everything you say is stupid. Everything you stand for is stupid.

Proto (or any one of us for that matter) could stay home and shove corn bits from our poop up our nasal cavaties, and still have a better night than you and your friends/hookers. Nothing you will ever do will one-up us and our lives, because you're Vinnie Zeb, and we're not.

Nuff said, fatty.