God Be With Us, I'm a Father Pt. 1

[McClain]

My wife took three different-brand pregnancy tests. They were all positive. I'm gonna' be a dad.

[Professor Cool]

let me be the first to say, congratulations McClain, and good luck

[soundtest]

sorry man... i was drunk

[liquidstatik]

Congrats man Keep us posted

[Les Waste]

You know, Shipwreck's real name was Hector. I think Hector would be a fiiiiiiiine name for a boy. Or a girl. Or whatever.

In all seriousness, if it's a boy, name him Tyree or Antawn. If it's a girl, name her LaShonda or Miracle. And make sure you the baby's daddy.

:ebonics

[liquidstatik]

I always thought Arika was a cool way of spelling Erica if its a girl...

[Mockery]

Name it I-Mockery.com, the human web site advertisement.

[liquidstatik]

wouldnt alot of parents get mad when they find out there 1st graders have been going to the site. And checking out your affiliates like b0g or cooperatemofo :/

[Jixby Phillips]

NOW YOU'LL HAVE TO MARRY THE BITCH

[Cap'n Crunch]

Name it McClain Jr. It doesn't matter if it is a boy or a girl.

[Ninjavenom]

Name it Doctor. Even if it's a failure, people won't know. That, or Ted. :/

Anyways, congrats.

[Carnivore]

But I thought you were a fudge packer :/

In any event, congratulations. Make sure you wean him or her from the breast and start a meatatarian diet as soon as possible

[Cap'n Crunch]

This would make a great mini-mock.

[Tropical]

Hahaha, congrats dude... now the pest control people would be encouraged slightly more to come over since you have a kid around.

[The Retro Kat]

God Speed.

[Les Waste]

The title of this thread makes me think it's about you becoming a priest.

[Secret Agent Vomit]

LOL. CONGRATULATIONS! DON'T BE LATE WITH THE CHILD SUPPORT.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Originally Posted by Les Waste

The title of this thread makes me think it's about you becoming a priest.

I thought that too when I first saw it.

[McClain]

I decided to usher in paternity by desisting one of my favorite pastimes, the lung-blackening quintessential labor of love that I've condoned since the day I started.
In the back of my mind I knew that on a long enough time-line the road would come to an end and all the love I felt for cigarettes would come screeching to a halt. But before the curtain falls, may I please reinforce my affinity for you, oh Faithful Tobacco, the Magical Grit?
In the words of Milli Vanilli, "It's a tragedy to see that our dream is over." Listen, I'm sorry I have to break up with you... But it's not you, it's me! You know? I've changed lately, and I just don't think we're going anywhere. I mean, I've cherished the time we spent together, but I just can't go on.
I will never forget you, Cigarettes.


This better be a good kid, because dammit, I'm giving up some pretty important shit here. I just smoked my last Marlboro, and I vowed not to buy another pack of cigs. Now I'm left with a package of Top tobacco and 14 papers. Once that is gone, it's over.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Go buy the nicotine patch. I warn you, don't smoke with it on. I know someone who did, and they threw up all over themselves.

[McClain]

Nah... I'll just go cold turkey. I'll use the would-be-spent-on-cigs money as an incentive. I'll collect it up at the end of the month and buy myself something nice.
However, my wife did say that if I turn in to a crabby asshole, she'll tell me to keep smoking. You know, her being pregnant and all there's only room for one bitch. Which I totally understand.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Maybe you could buy more action figures.

[soundtest]

good luck man - after a few days just think how much better you are feeling and how shitty you know you'll feel if you have one. i try to smoke when i'm dreaming if it's lucid... my only weakness is alcohol...

[Rongi]

Good luck man, personally I could never have kids. One Rongi is enough .

[The_Rorschach]

Now you will finally have true competition in toy collecting. . .BWA HAHA HA HAA HAAAAAAA!

Seriously though, congratulations man. Couldn't think of a better father if I tried.