What are you GIVING this year?

[NightOfTheLivingDon]

I got my woman a talking Pee-Wee Herman doll with a Chairy puppet whose eyes move, Ghostigital's first album (which is actually just Einar Orn and the album's name is Ghostigital which later became the band name because people from Iceland have a couple bats in the belfry), and a South Park shirt with Stan holding a boombox over his head and it says Shock the Monkey on the bottom. She wants Shock the Monkey to be our wedding song. That's cool. Luckily she's with me on the notion that X-mas is for toys and Valentines is for jewelry. My buddy Dave is coming up from the city because he can't get to Florida to see his family, so I bought him a Hadeki Matsui wall clock. He better appreciate that. I fucking hate the Yankees, and loath giving them money.

I think she bought me a Wii. There's only one Wii sized box under the tree with my name on it. I've been feeling like Cartman for a week. My television is doomed.

And for myself, a bottle of Jameson, a bottle of Baileys, and a twelve pack of Guiness!

I'll be sending naked pictures to Sen. Foley.

[DuFresne]

I'm giving my girlfriend a penguin that craps out jellybeans. Everyone else gets the joy of simply knowing me, which better damn well be enough.

[Dire Flamingo]

I'm giving my cousin some "Littlest Pet Shop" things, my mom a scarf I knit that doesn't actually look shitty, and my dad a Frank Zappa shirt in a tin R. Crumb lunchbox because I can't wrap things.

[Preechr]

I sent my 2 and 3 year old nieces the most noisy but fun things I can find because I'm kind of a little pissed at my sister at the moment, plus I'm just generally an asshole.

Two really soft and huggable stuffed animals (a sheep and a pig) that have those little things embedded in their paws that make animal noises when you squeeze them...

Then, a fake MP3 player that plays really gay nursery rhyme songs and a fake microphone that plays gay music and lets them record them singing to the gay music and then play it back...

It's all wrapped in poppy plastic with about 5 lbs of shredded paper stuffed in there just to make a mess.

She's gonna call up and cuss me out good.

[Crimson Ghost]

A.I.D.S.

[DuFresne]

You can't give AIDS. You can only give HIV. I believe this board has spent enough time on this subject for you to know that

[BlueOatmeal]

I want to give all the girls of the world a kiss!

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost

A.I.D.S.

[Grislygus]

I just ran out because I completely forgot to get my dad a gift, and the local bookstore had ONE copy of How To Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way for five percent off.