What your poop says about you.

[James]

I found it very interesting to open up IE, and have the Netscape home page show up with the word "POOP" staring me in the face.

What's even stranger is the actual article it links to.

http://www2.oprah.com/health/yourbod...tion_101.jhtml

"You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water. If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, 'plop, plop, plop,' that's not right because it means you're constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh]."

A diver... from Acapulco? I suppose you shouldn't look for a level of normalcy when it comes to a doctor of poop, but WHERE the hell does someone come up with this shit (pun intended)?

[eggyolk]

Maureen (right), a mother of four children, says "My hemorrhoids feel so bad that it's like grapes hanging out of my rear,"

:/

[Dole]

What your poop says about you: 'You bastard! I'm drowning!! Help me! heeeellllp....meeeeeeee'

[James]

Originally Posted by eggyolk

Maureen (right), a mother of four children, says "My hemorrhoids feel so bad that it's like grapes hanging out of my rear,"

:/

The fact that she kind of looks like an Oompa Loompa just adds to it.

[kellychaos]

The next thing Dr. Oz recommends is looking at your stool—c'mon, you've done it before! You should look twice—look at the shape and then, the color.

Twenty-five Helens agree.

[Geggy]

Dr. Oz says it's important to listen to what your bowel tells you.

pfffffft...

[G-Man]

[quote="Geggy"]

Dr. Oz says it's important to listen to what your bowel tells you.

I've heard a lot of crazy crap in my time and all of it came from my bowels.

[Matt Harty]

HOLY SHIT LOL

[kellychaos]

On top of suggesting to Susan and Maureen to change their diets, Dr. Oz says that Susan and Maureen need to pass gas more often and not be ashamed—we all need to! Dr. Oz says that the average person passes gas 14 times a day—and less than one percent of it actually smells. He says it's so important that we start creating a "no embarrassment zone"—we need to pass this much gas!

[Zbu Manowar]

So this is what happens when Oprah goes senile and her mentally retarded chimps follow her. Who the hell goes on national TV and talks about their 'roids?

[James]

Oompa Loompas. We already covered that.

[Marc Summers]

Originally Posted by James

...It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh]."

Yea, mine sounds like that...

If the diver weighed 400 pounds and was doing a belly flop

My life is over