My Written Testimony

[CaptainBubba]

So long story short I got pulled over by a cop who was tailgating me home trying to think of an excuse to pull me over and he does and says i didnt stop at a stop sign. I cant go to court because ill be at college so instead I'm giving the judge my written testimony. Tell me what ya'll think:

Hon. Judge Killilea

I apologize for not being able to appear in court before you. College left me unable to get a continuance. Everything I am writing is the truth. On the night on July 10th while leaving my girlfriend’s home at roughly 11:15 p.m I noticed after exiting her neighborhood that I was being followed, at first from far away then surprisingly quickly from very close behind. My pursuer’s headlights were on very bright and this, combined with fact that he was following closely made me very nervous. During this time there was an intersection with a stop sign where I slowed down, looked left and right, stopped, then took a right turn. The car continued to follow me very closely and on a left turn up further I could see that it was a police officer because his extremely bright lights no longer hindered my rear view mirror from seeing anything but white light. After following me roughly a half mile longer he pulled me over at a stop light. He began by giving me a line of questioning and after learning I had no drugs or alcohol informed me that I rolled through a stop sign, (which confused me as it was some ways back and I didn‘t even recall which intersection he referred to) abruptly stopped my search for my registration and asked me for just my license. He also told me to pull onto the adjacent corner of the street to prevent the light from repeatedly tripping. I realized what stop sign he was referring to as I waited for him to write my ticket and did not believe his claim that I did not stop. When he returned to give me my ticket I challenged the validity of his claim and he became quite angry at me, speaking very loudly and with his face much closer to me. During this time I stated that I was traveling very slowly near the stop sign and he took this to be an excuse, but it was not, as the last thing I said to him was “I don’t believe I rolled through [the stop sign]”. Throughout the entire incident his main points of evidence against me were that he was “right behind me” and that I “just pushed on my brakes”. He even said that I “would have a case” were it not for his position in regards to me, however this is absurd , because since his car was presumably still moving as he watched me from behind, and specifically at my brake lights and their duration, he could not have accurately seen whether my car had come to a complete stop or not, making “right behind me” theoretically the worst possible vantage point for him to determine my stopping. In addition the duration of my brakes is inconsequential for two reasons. Firstly my car is a standard transmission vehicle which means I do not have to keep my brakes on as long as an automatic to come to a stop and my car will slow down faster when I downshift. Secondly my brake time by itself is irrelevant in regards to the law as long as my vehicle stopped, which it did. Regardless of these facts against his testimony I understand that I am not present to defend myself and that the evidence against me may still be found sufficient and in that event I would very much appreciate the opportunity to go to driving school to have this not be placed on my record. I have a clear record thus far and I would state confidently that I was driving safely and doing no one any harm. Thank you very much for your time.

-Alexander P. Chapman

[kellychaos]

It sounds as if the policeman wasn't happy that he didn't get the much anticipated OUIL/DWI charge he thought he had in hand so, in frustration, virtually made up a charge that consitutes a "your word against his word" argument since there's really no physical evidence. I might think that this whole charge might turn on the judge's mood that day and his/her opinion of said officer. It's worth a shot, though. Good luck!

DON'T BE TOO MUCH OF A HERO LINK

[Supafly345]

That poor cop is well below is quota for drunk drivers.

[kellychaos]

Probably because he's not particularly skilled in spotting them.

[Archduke Tips]

I got a BS ticket for careless driving once and I convinced the judge to not put any points on my record, but I still got fined.

That's probably about what you can expect to happen too. The government likes to take your money.

[McClain]

Originally Posted by Supafly345

That poor cop is well below is quota for drunk drivers.

Not all police departments issue quotas. Matter of fact, I'd say it's less than you'd imagine. I am curious as to what this cop was thinking. Some times, and civilians like you and me don't take this in to consideration, but cops receive calls from dispatch informing them of suspicious personnel/vehicles.
He might of had you confused w/ that person and opted to give you the eagle eye. And cops don't lose their temper for no reason. 99% of the time it's a tactical manuever to see how you'll react.
But I'm not defending this guy. Chances are he won't even show up in court, in which case the judge will have no choice but to rest on your side. In petty cases like this whichever side doesn't appear before the judge or have representation defaults.
Send in the letter. But before you do that check your grammar and split up a couple of those paragraphs. You might bore the judge to death.

[Meat Jello]

Speaking of crappy cops...i was on my way to work today and i was coming to a Y intersection. I almost got smashed by a semi that flew through the intersection....as i slammed on the brakes i noticed a cop sitting across the other section. Guess what he was doing as i drove by....fucking picking his nose and talking on a cell phone....

[ziggytrix]

Don't they teach compostition at your college?

I'd break that up into paragraphs, take out the parenthetical reamark (or give it it's own sentence - you just don't do this sort of thing in FORMAL writing), and add a few periods to make it easier on the eyes.

[AChimp]

Paragraphs FTW!

I didn't know that you were allowed to excuse yourself from court like this. Anyways, there was someone in Winnipeg a few years ago who loudly contested their stop sign ticket and tried to pull the "you were moving, too" argument that you seem to be using. The guy was even prepared to pay for a perceptual psychologist to come in and prove his point.

The judge thought it was bullshit and the guy was forced to pay his ticket anyways. The only reason I know all of this is because the guy wrote to all the newspapers to explain his point of view; people made fun of him for weeks.

I don't think you'll win with your argument, but if you're lucky and have a clear record (as you state) the judge might let it pass if you look miserable enough. You shoulda just bribed the cop, though.

[CaptainBubba]

Its one paragraph. I admit I should've split it up for you guys as reading this much at once online in a forum is a hassle but on paper this doesnt even fill up a page. Its one paragraph. Truthfully its my personal opinion and testimony, not a formal essay, so parenthesis are fine. I already gave it to the court a day ago so I'm not nessicarilly looking for gramatical and spelling mistakes, rather you opinion on my case against the ticket.

My general concencus from everyone I've asked, including courtroom cops I talked to and the district county circuit clerk, it is completely dependedent on the judges mood that day.

The cop was a dick. He was a orange colored redneck with a big spikey tatto on his arm who thought he was tough shit.

I watched traffic court for about 1.5 hours while I was there giving my testimony to them and every single cop supposed to be there showed up so I think I'm outa luck in that department.

[sadie]

that's one paragraph if you're hawthorne or something. a paragraph is generally four or five sentences, dear.

[AChimp]

You might put him in a bad mood by making him read that rambling chunk.

[kellychaos]

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

Truthfully its my personal opinion and testimony, not a formal essay, so parenthesis are fine. I already gave it to the court a day ago so I'm not nessicarilly looking for gramatical and spelling mistakes, rather you opinion on my case against the ticket.

This is going to sound disjointed from the current discussion but bear with me. I live in the Detroit metropolitan area but the things that happen in the city still affect me. Recently we hosted the MLB All-Star game wherein the mayor of Detroit was bound to run into national dignitaries of all types and, in which case, he represented the Detroit metropolitan area. And how does he dress? He dresses like a white-suit-wearing, pimp Huggy Bear bitch. Worst punk mayor ever!!! Some people may say that he is expressing his INDIVIDUALITY. I call bullshit. In certain situations, when you command an office, go for a job interview, appear in court, ect. you act, dress, talk, ect. accordingly as befits the situation to give respect to THAT situation. Written expression commands the same respect. Long story short: Ziggy gave you good advice. Follow it!!

[kahljorn]

the first day my girlfriend and I parked our chevy nova outside and across the street at our old house, the lady called the cops on it. We found a ticket saying that we had "Improper tabs", which was hilarious because we had just gotten new tags the day right before. Also, on the ticket it clearly stated that the tags on the car were 2005 under the "Comments" section. We also found a note on the car from the old bitch lady with a dyke hair cut who lives across the street saying, "I like to park in front of my house, please don't park here again -- homeowner".
That was annoying because it's a 100 dollar charge.
It's a fixable violation so we send in a copy of our registration, a note and a copy of the ticket that says "2005 tags on vehicle". They send it back saying we have to have a cops signature. Whatever.
At this point the car's inoperable, and it's parked near old dyke's house again. We get a call from our mechanic saying somebody stated they went THROUGH our car and found his number and called him, claimed he wanted to buy it and that it had a tow sticker on it and he wanted to get in touch with us. Our mechanic refused, and left us a message.
So anyway, somehow the mechanic gets in touch with him again, and he says, "oh, don't worry i found their number and got in touch with them" which is a lie. So we come to find out the car was towed that day, this is something like a week after he got in touch with the mechanic.
It was towed because it's "Ugly". Seriously, did you know you can have cars towed for that? So it gets impounded, and we have to pay for it to get towed and all this shit. 200 dollars because of old dykey. Yes, the culprit was old dykey.
We mentioned to the cops(secretary) that she had gone through our car and the cop said she tried to get in touch with us but couldn't(she talked to the landlord at our old place), which is even more hilarious because our phone numbers exactly the same and we literally live within 3 minutes walking distance of our old place.
So, back to the original story.
We get this letter saying we need to have a police officer sign off that we have the right tags, our car's inoperable and they told us we could have a police technician come out and sign off. So we try to get someone to come out, and they say they don't do that. So we ask what we can do, and the asshole cop says, "I suggest you get it operable". Yea, I have 5,000 dollars to get a new engine for it so i can avoid your bullshit parking ticket.
In the end we said fuck the ticket, and if they ever take us to court we'll just ask them to look at the ticket. It's such bullshit that they can assign a fake ticket that may as well say fake in bolded red letters and still make us jump through hoops for them.
Also, the law that cars can't be ugly and parked on the street is bullshit.
Dykey will get hers though.

[CaptainBubba]

A paragraph is a sentence to an infinite number of sentences. In public school they mandate a 4 -8 sentence minimum maximum. Public school is for gheys. Ya'll should know that.

[sadie]

aye, aye, captain.

[ziggytrix]

You have the makings of several paragraphs there.

1. introduction and apology for failure to appear in person.
2. your recollection of the events, just the facts. (On the night ...)
3. your persuasive argument for why you shouldn't be penalized. (Throughout the ...)
4. your plea for mercy (Regardless of these ...)

If you'd broken it up like that it'd have been easier on the eyes, displayed your thoughts more coherently, and been less of a headache to read. I don't give a fuck about the 4-8 min/max, I'm talking about persausive writing. Which if you wish it to be as effective as possible, should be as clear as possible.

Water under the bridge now, I know, but you DID ask what we thought, and so this is what you get. <shrug>

[CaptainBubba]

Its probably read to the judge by the baliff anyway actually now that i think about it. Thanks though. ;p

[sadie]

ziggy gets a big A+ and a smiley sticker!

[kellychaos]

I think that the main lessons to be learned here is: Sometimes you just have to play the game ... or ... Know when to pick your battles. Sorry if both of those sound cliche but if there wasn't some truth to both, they wouldn't persist.

[Crimson Ghost]

"Fuck the police, fuck, fuck, fuck, the police... Fuck them mother fuckers.
Fuck the motherfucking police!
They don't want peace, they want a nigga deceased
So he'll cease to be a problem, and by the way the perform
It seems the Klan gave the white police another uniform
And yo the black police, the house niggaz
They gave you a motherfucking gun, so I guess you figure
you made out, good to go, but you didn't know
They would stick your black ass back in the ghetto, yo
To kill another nigga, catch him with crack, in fact
Freebase - they put in the neighborhood in the first place
But the brothers ain't stupid, remember that
You got a gat, I got a gat, so whassup with that
A to the motherfuckin K
The last words you hear, then the smoke appears
Tears, from your motherfuckin family
They're starin at me, but I'm goin gun happy, fuck em!
Shootin everything in sight tonight's the night to get hyped
and fight for what's wrong, fuck what's right!
And by the way, my name is Dre
So listen up motherfucker to what I gotta say, yo"
-Dr. Dre

[Chojin]

-Banned