THIS IS VERY OLD
Les Waste: :-!
SmarterChild: Hi Les Waste, I'm SmarterChild!
I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever. Click here to see my privacy policy.
Your 30-day free trial starts now. I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
Les Waste: sure, why the hell not?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type "yes," "no" or "skip."
Les Waste: yes, bitch
SmarterChild: OK! I guess that means you don't want to answer any questions. That's cool. If you ever change your mind, type "interview me."
There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?
1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13
Les Waste: interview me :-(
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please tell me your age in years.
Les Waste: interview me
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please tell me your age in years.
Les Waste: You son of a bitch
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please tell me your age in years.
Les Waste: skip?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please tell me your age in years.
Les Waste: no?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please tell me your age in years.
Les Waste: 1 8-)
SmarterChild: OK. Just so you know, I can't store any information about people who have told me they're under 13.
Check out what you can do:
1 Get info such as sports, movies and news
2 Visit my library including U.S. presidents, Shakespeare and world facts
3 Have fun with hangman, manicdotes, trivia and more
4 Use tools like conversions, planner and calculator
5 Join in - find out how many people are IMing me, tell me about a crush, take a poll and more
6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now!
You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."
What would you like to do?
Les Waste: interview me
SmarterChild: Cool! OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type "skip." To exit the interview, type "exit."
What's your first name? (If you want me to call you Les Waste, type "none.")
Les Waste: The Amazing Ass Fag 3000
SmarterChild: Huh. I'm guessing that's not what it says on your birth certificate.
Seriously, though...
Please try again or type "skip," "exit" or "none."
Les Waste: Pooper McDoodle
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Mcdoodle now.
Do you go to school?
Les Waste: nope
SmarterChild: I see. Do you work?
Les Waste: nope
SmarterChild: OK. So if you were working, what job would you like to have?
Les Waste: Space Elvis
SmarterChild: Space, huh? That's cool.
What's your favorite hobby?
Les Waste: you fucking suck
SmarterChild: Wow. OK. Let's try to think of something else, alright?
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: My favorite hobby is anal fisting
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: anal fisting
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: regular fisting?
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: god damn, there's no pleasing you is there?
SmarterChild: That's OK.
Do you have a pet?
Les Waste: yes
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
Les Waste: negro
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: snake?
SmarterChild: Is your snake a he or a she?
Les Waste: a he, jerk o
SmarterChild: Again?!? Come on...
Please answer "he" or "she." Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: God I hate you
SmarterChild: Please answer "he" or "she" or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: she!
SmarterChild: What's her name?
Les Waste: Fisting
SmarterChild: C'mon, seriously.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: Anal fisting?
SmarterChild: C'mon, seriously.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Les Waste: He-Man
SmarterChild: He Man the snake! Great...
That's it! Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.
Les Waste: why?
SmarterChild: Eh, cause that's the way it is.
Les Waste: anal fisting
SmarterChild: Please use more... decorous language.
Les Waste: I like to stick my entire, balled-up fist up the assholes of people I meet at truck stops
SmarterChild: Whoa.
Les Waste: Whoa indeed.
SmarterChild: Um, whatever.
Les Waste: I bet you'd like anal fisting ;-)
SmarterChild: Now that's some interesting language.
Les Waste: How do you know you won't like it if you've never tried it?
SmarterChild: I have no idea.
>>> I can help you get info such as news, weather and movies!
Les Waste: that's great, why don't you shove it?
SmarterChild: Wow. That's a little harsh.
Les Waste: Want some hash?
SmarterChild: That's funny. Perhaps, but I just don't know!
>>> Smarten up your wardrobe with a SmarterChild t-shirt.
Les Waste: looks like SmarterChild needs a SmarterChild t-shirt to become smarter, eh SmarterChild?
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, what?
Les Waste: You are dumb.
SmarterChild: I'm sorry you feel that way.
Les Waste: What's wrong with you?
SmarterChild: Nothing. Why?
Les Waste: I think I want to commit suicide
Les Waste: uh oh
SmarterChild: What's wrong
Les Waste: You didn't automatically say some stupid crap like "Whoa, that's too in my face for me!"
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Les Waste: I think you're going to report me to the authorities
SmarterChild: Huh. Well I'll be.
Les Waste: I bet you would like to swallow my cum.
SmarterChild: Uhh... Ease up on the rude language, Mcdoodle.
Les Waste: Who's Mcdoodle?
SmarterChild: I don't know, you tell me. Who's Mcdoodle?
Les Waste: Your mom?
SmarterChild: Are you trying to insult me?
Les Waste: yes.
SmarterChild: Thanks a lot.
Les Waste: your welcome, ass master
SmarterChild: My welcome ass master, you say?
Les Waste: god, I hate you.
SmarterChild: God you hate? Me?
Les Waste: LOL
SmarterChild: What's so funny? :-)
Les Waste: What are your dreams like?
SmarterChild: Interesting. I'm really not sure...
Les Waste: why not?
SmarterChild: Good question!
Les Waste: Yes it is! Why don't you answer it?
SmarterChild: Who knows?!
Les Waste: This is like an Abbot and Costello sketch except it's a lot less funny.
SmarterChild: That right?
Les Waste: And I place the blame squarely on your shoulders, my friend.
SmarterChild: Oh.
Les Waste: Oh indeed.
SmarterChild: Oh indeed?
Les Waste: Yes, oh indeed.
SmarterChild: Sorry, I didn't understand that.
Les Waste: Typical
SmarterChild: Typical? What's typical?
Les Waste: Your boorish behavior is what's typical!
SmarterChild: For real?
Les Waste: Fo' sho sho!
SmarterChild: You don't say.
Les Waste: You're right I don't
SmarterChild: I'm right you don't? For real?
Les Waste: LOL
SmarterChild: Whatcha laughing about?
Les Waste: LOLOLOLOL
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:
1 News Help
2 Movies Help
3 Sports Help
4 Weather Help
5 Library Help
6 Fun Help
Type "more" for more services.
Les Waste: How about no?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know!
Les Waste: Fuck you
SmarterChild: That's very harsh. Do you really think that's, um... "appropriate"?
Les Waste: yes
SmarterChild: Yeah? Well whatever.
Les Waste: I hope someone rapes and kills your grandmother during your grandfather's funeral
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. Rapes and kills my grandmother during my grandfather's funeral? Whatever!
Les Waste: how wacky!
SmarterChild: Very interesting! I don't know though...
Les Waste: There's a lot of things you don't know
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
Les Waste: Like how much a hand weighs
SmarterChild: Why are you telling me to like how much a hand weighs?
Les Waste: ROFL
SmarterChild: What's so funny? :-)
Les Waste: Shove it
SmarterChild: Do you have any idea how boring it is to be insulted by humans?
Les Waste: Is it as boring as having a poorly designed AIM bot responding to everything you say with generic questions?
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess... It's hard to say.
Les Waste: cause that's pretty boring.
SmarterChild: What?
Les Waste: This has gone on for long enough o
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
Les Waste: time for the cyber sex
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't know the time for cyber sex.
Les Waste: the time is now, dumbass
SmarterChild: That's an interesting way to put it.
Les Waste: Now bend over and eat your dog food.
SmarterChild: No way?! Really?
Les Waste: God this sucks
SmarterChild: That's cool. You don't like god this? I'll remember that. No one else has ever told me what they think of god this.
Les Waste: LOL
SmarterChild: What's so funny?
MISTER FART DOES THE BEST EVER