Argos can eat my nuts

[MetalMilitia]

So earlier on I decided I needed some diet coke and a desklamp. Assuming Asda would supply both I drove there, got the coke but, shock horror, no lamps to be found. So I drove up the road to Staples, they'll have a lamp right? wrong. Not a sausage.
So whilst winding my merry way home I remembered there was a Argos not two minuites away from where I live.
Having had bad experiences with everything I have ever bought from Argos I was caucious but assumed if I spent just a little more on my purchase than the bog standard 5 quid deelio I should get something worthy of my desk.. or atleast something which would put light on my keyboard without too much fuss.

After carefully selecting a stylish looking florecent lamp costing about 15 quid I took my paper thingy to the obligatory chav behind the counter and before you could say "Oh my god what is this rubbish" I was home and attempting to pull some kind of metal comtraption out of a box.

Once I got it put together I began to realise my shrewd purchasing skills had let me down. For starters it looked like wank, but not just your regular tacky Argos rubbish. The wannkyest thing I have ever seen. Ok, not a problem I thought to myself, I mean what did I expect, it's Argos afterall. Just so long as it makes light i'll be content.
Well it makes light... I guess, but not just you regular light which you may use to see things or read, oh no, this is some kind of special florecent light which flickers at such a high frequency you can't physically see the flickering but you know it's there just enough to really fuck you off.

Ok so it flickers a bit, im certainly non-plused, but I guess it's not that bad just so long as I don't turn it on or expect it not to give me eye cancer.
But wait, the problems don't stop there. None of the little springs and joints are made so as to allow it to sit happily on the desk. It insists on sagging down and touching my things, as if to say; "haha now your desk belongs to be you foolish fool". Not cool. A mans desk is his castle and nafaious light fittings have no business messing with it or any of the do-dads inhabiting said castle.

I honestly cannot be bothered to take it back, just getting it back into its tardis like box would take the best part of 16 years not to mention trying to explain just why it sucks so much to the goolish guardians of the Argos treasure.

In conclusion if any of you ever hear of a chain of shops called Argos avoid them like the fucking plauge.

[Esuohlim]

Your story is hard to follow because yanks don't know weird British words like "quid" and "chav" and "wannkyest" and "comptraption", "nafaious", "non-plused", and "plauge".

[Seven Force]

I bet MM knows limey!

Right, Metal?

[executioneer]

Originally Posted by Esuohlim

Your story is hard to follow because yanks don't know weird British words like "quid" and "chav" and "wannkyest" and "comptraption", "nafaious", "non-plused", and "plauge".

hahaha like four of those are just misspellings and not even britspeak

[Pub Lover]

@ Argos

[Womti]

all this cockney slang is absolute bollocks.

[Terra]

I would love to come back as argos but I don't know a bunch of those words. But I must say that British is a really cool thing. I have an uncle who lives there and when he come to town it's a trip. Love it. Just fucking love the language. That asshole gets laid every time he comes to town and it even isn't ONLY from the ladies at church.

Well for the most part