This is pretty amusing. Reminds me of something Max would write.
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http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/5/30lawless.html
THE MANONI BROTHERS
HAVE SENT YOU
AN E-THREAT!
BY M. SWEENEY LAWLESS
- - - -
HOSTS: Dom and Benny Manoni
WHEN? Tomorrow night when you are closing up—about 10!
WHERE? The parking lot of Dunk's Furniture Store, where you are the night manager!
WHAT? A savage beating with broken legs from one of the chairs lined up in the hallway outside the break room that Fat Petey has not gotten around to boxing and returning to the warehouse for damages credit!
WHAT SHOULD I BRING? Don't worry about it.
DRIVING DIRECTIONS: Again, don't worry.
OTHER DETAILS/SPECIAL REQUESTS: If you think it is tough paying back a few grand now, wait until you have to do it from crutches! Join us for the beating we have mentioned more than once when you have been short and begged us about how you just needed time to win back your losses! There will be plenty of slapping and unnecessary questions like "You didn't need more time to borrow the money, did you, Eddie?" and kicking of you while you are curled up whimpering on the ground! Also, you should not call the cops.
WILL YOU ATTEND?
[ ] Yes.
[ ] No, come find me where I live, at 210 Bennett Street in the second-floor apartment with the open bathroom window, or at my sister's house in Riverside, because I am stupid enough to take this to a house that's got children in it.
[ ] I still tell myself I can get out of this somehow.
GUEST LIST:
Just you and us, Eddie—you and us like always.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW HTML GRAPHICS IF YOU WANT TO, BUT YOU CAN PROBABLY PICTURE HOW IT'S GOING TO GO.
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