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Level 29 ♂
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Peoria, IL
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May 24th, 2006, 11:18 PM
Finland
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A typical finnish citizen.
Formerly a part of France, Finland is one of the ex-communist European countries that nowadays try to make themselves part of the colourful world where free market economy, water closets and the Internets soar. Finland is located somewhere between Norway and the North Pole, which explains the low population (less than 500,000 people, of which about 60% are unemployed).
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Finnish sources of pride
* Linux - a shitty operating system written by the communist nerd Linus Torvalds.
* IRC - the text-based warez program invented by a drunken student from Oulu, a village in Lapland (the northernmost part of Finland, where convicts are deported after repeated offenses of rape).
* The sauna - a Russian torture device, used in Finland for recreational purposes (that is, ogling boobs and vulvas).
* Nokia - the Japanese mobile phone company aqcuired by Finnish pirates in a hostile takeover after the fall of communism.
* Finlandia Vodka - an intoxicating beverage, owned by an American company.
* The Winter War - Finland's disastrous contribution to the Second World War, getting raped by the commies for choosing to side with the Nazis.
* Tom of Finland - the gayest cartoonist of all time.
* HIM - the favorite band of German, scat-loving 16-year-old girls
* Children of Bodom - the favorite band of Finnish 16-year-old girls who secretly (or not so secretly) hope to be raped by a Grim Reaper on speed
* Lordi - another shitty band. In 2006 it won the Eurovision Song Contest.
It's pretty obvious that there is no real reason whatsoever for a Finn to be proud of his national heritage.
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