Features

Mockery · #1

For those of you who work in office environments, this one might hit fairly close to home. My latest piece for National Lampoon is all about the absurd amount of pointless meetings that take place in the office every week.

SCHEDULED MEETINGS FOR THE WEEK OF 3/21
http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/03...edmeetings.asp

Enjoy!

Cosmo Electrolux · #2

Holy shit!!!! You work for the same company I do????

RedLeader01 · #3

...and you both suck! You're better off going back to swindling money from people for the zombie movie.

noob3 · #4

hell yes fucking swindlers FUCK I-MOCKERY DOWN WITH I-MOCKERY BULLSHIT FOREVER!!

BURN TI DOWN!

mburbank · #5

Way to write something about something, Red Leader one!

Mike P · #6

I've actually done the thing where you use freshly-printed paper to warm yourself. It's quite a sad sight.

Archduke Tips · #7

I've done that thing where you drink a lot one night and the next day a 60+ year old man offers you a blowjob.

How do you think that feels you panzy?

Helm · #8

Shut up.

Archduke Tips · #9

Quote:

Originally Posted by Helm

Shut up.

You're a master of brevity.
Maybe you ought to learn not to speak when you really have nothing to say.

Anonymous · #10

You should study your own material before you present it to others.

Archduke Tips · #11

My material is doing just fine, thank you. How is your material these days?

Helm · #12

Shut up.

Slinky Ferret · #13

Well I have two jobs and so therefore have three different types of meeting.

In my part time job meetings involve of us sitting on chairs facing the boss and him telling us about the company and showing us figures that we aren't particularily fussed about. He then asks us if anyone reads the newsletter and what was in it last month to resounding silence. I do read it but I cannot rememeber what was in it after I read it. He was very disapointed when no-one said anything.

Second job has two meetings. The first is when its just my boss and the other tech. I have to show my boss my logbook which normally involves thrilling tasks such as "put paper in the printers" and "reset a user profile" and "deleted some files from this user". There is rarely anything immensely interesting that has happened in my book. Then he tells us what is going to happen the current week, which again is normally nothing exciting.

The third type of meeting I have is an assembly of other people who do my job and other locations. We all meet up and no-one has coffee despite it being made every time and also hardly anyone touches the biscuits. Last time was crazy because my boss wasn't there to chair so it desended into a idle gossip to delay the end of the meeting.

Sometimes at uni when they are trying to force you to become a cohesive group they have a team building exercise. They did the NASA one which is physically impossible anyway and besides, I'm on a computing degree, not being an astronaut, how am I meant to know about propulsion and space?

I'm sure meetings can be good when they have a purpose. For example see The Office episode when he tells everyone there are going to be some redundancies yet he is being promoted and getting a pay rise....