What I learnt at University

[MetalMilitia]

During my time at university something very strange happened.

The story beings when I moved to a new house at the start of my second year. I was moving in with three guys and a couple of girls. The guys were all pretty normal and one of the girls was nice enough. The other girl though (let's call her Fiona... because, well, that was her name) wasn't normal... or nice.
For the most part she was just a bitch, but soon things started taking an unlikely turn. First of all she began wandering around the house topless.
The funny thing is, to most people this probably sounds fantastic, but having a girlfriend already and not finding Fiona remotely attractive, it just made me feel uncomfortable.
The whole topless thing was weird enough, but the plot thickens. One night at about 3am everyone in the house was asleep, except for me because I basically didn't sleep at university. All of a sudden I started hearing particularly loud dance music coming from downstairs. I couldn't be bothered to investigate at first but after a while I started hearing other movement on the first floor and took a look out of my door. On the landing two of the guys I was living with were looking pretty pissed off and one of them was nominated to go downstairs and tell Fiona to shut the fuck up.
He got as far as the living room doorway before we heard him say "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and quickly slam the door again.

Turns out Fiona was having some kind of sex orgy in the living room with a guy and another girl.

There are a lot of things which could be taken away from this experience. The most salient of which only fully sunk in recently; INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

Nympho co-eds really are going sex mad in student houses. Which made me wonder what else it was telling the truth about... do all girls have repressed lesbian tendencies which can be uncovered with a 100 dollar bill? do all girls secretly love anal sex? do girls crave my cum? I mean I don't think so... which is to say I hope not... I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

Scary times were living in.