Confessing a Crush

[Miss Modular]

So I'm preparing a gift for a friend of mine. In it, I plan on including a letter.

I have feelings for this guy. What kind of feelings, I don't have to explain. I was wondering if it's a good idea to mention this in my letter to him. For better or worse, It's not the rejection I'm worried about--it's whether or not telling him in this letter is appropiate.

Should I tell him flat out that I like him? Or should I be more discreet?

I don't know what to do. :/

[Helm]

I personally appreciate sincerity unless it's overbearing. I mean, go tell him. I think that's the best way. Beating around the bush is really cute when you're 13, but you're not 13.

[FS]

It's me, right? Right? Right! I knew it. You can tell me. Come on.


A gift seems like a fine opportunity to tell someone how you feel about them, so yeah, I'd say it's appropriate. And I'd try to combine caution with honesty. Telling this guy you like him and would like to see where that goes.

[AChimp]

Stand naked on his lawn and maybe he will get the hint.

But seriously, while telling him in a letter is appropriate, telling him in person comes across as more sincere, IMO. You can express emotions much better in real life than on paper. Same goes for telling someone that you hate them.

[Brandon]

I'm with Chimpy on this one; you should probably do it in person.

[hawaiian mage]

Yeah. More emphasis on considering doing it in person.

While saying it in a letter has the benifit of not having to deal with any awkward responses coming from the hit upon party and let you choose your words very carefully, for those very same reasons it can sort of seem like you are hiding behind your words by not saying it in person.

You probably don't want to be distant when trying to become intimate.

In my opinion any way. [No current partner. May be indicitive.]

[AChimp]

I'm the letter-writing pro around here, BTW.

[FS]

I disagree. I think that using a letter gives the guy some time to think about how he feels for you before jumping to conclusions, while writing a letter gives you the chance to carefully think about what you want to tell him. Of course after that you should quickly (in a few days) get alone with him so you can find out his feelings on the subject.

I'm not saying you have to be some kind of ninja valentine weighing all the chances before you move in for the love-kill, just that if you express your feelings with care, you can at least avoid an awkward, uncomfortable connection between you and him.

Unless you're planning on giving him the present and letter personally and ask him to immediately read it.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I agree with FS...for what it's worth...a note will allow time for it to sink in.....and allow time to formulate a response.

[Helm]

omg she just told me she likes me oh damn I like her too but she caught me off guard and instead of telling her that I love her I told her to go suck her grandma's penis aggghhg stupid stupid stupid

guys, this doesn't happen. If the other person wants also, he's gonna be positive and it'll show even if he's shy or generally a faggot. You do not need time to formulate a reply if you want to be with somebody. The only thing that's gonna be helped by a letter is that the other guy will have come with some completely lame and PC reply like 'look, I really like you but you're just not my type' if he doesn't want you whereas if you discussed this in person you'd get a few tens of seconds of uncomfortable silence, and then the you're not my type silliness.

[AChimp]

See, boys and girls? Responses like that are why Helm gets all kinds of secks.

[Helm]

mainly of the goat kind, mind you

[MetalMilitia]

imo its better to do it in person. When you write a letter it can be hard to express what you want to. Even though you can spend a long time writing it and trying to get it sounding right it can be misunderstood or just not make alot of sence to the person reading it. Also you have to wait for them to reply which could take a long time and its not cool waiting for something like that.
You should just talk to the guy over a couple of glasses of beer as that will lower your inhibitions making for a more 'heartfelt' conversation. But be careful not to drink too much or you might start talking about shit or do something stupid.

This is just from my experience you might see things differently.

[AChimp]

Militia makes a good point about being misunderstood. Oh yeah. Yep. Hooo boy...

[Terra]

I always tell somebody that I'm interested in deepening things with them, if I feel that way. I've never experienced the awkwardness that can sometimes come from being that up front with anybody. Sometimes things can deepen and sometimes not and we just end up being really good buddies. That's okay too, as far as I'm concerned. There are times that the more I know them the more my feelings are not as deep and I let them know about this too. The same goes for them and I expect this. The point is that I try not to lay awake and obsess over whether to tell them or not.

When it comes to a gift exchange, I don't allow my feelings to interfere with the gift because then it becomes weighted with a double meaning, with the strings tied to it. That clouds the issue and sometimes could place a price on the gift. If the gift is freely given for no other reason than the occasion (birthday, some sort of anniversary or whatever) then I feel that is the best.

The feelings need to be discussed at a later time.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by AChimp

See, boys and girls? Responses like that are why Helm gets all kinds of secks.

I worship Helm as the Greek God that he is.......

[theapportioner]

Get him roaring drunk and seduce him. That is the way.

[the_dudefather]

how long have you known him? and any idea how he feels about you?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by theapportioner

Get him roaring drunk and seduce him. That is the way.

tough to do....he's in Greece, I'm in Alabama....

[Miss Modular]

I actually communicate much more clearly in letters. Any mocker who's met me can attest that I'm not much of a talker, so I don't always have the right words to say.

I'm wondering if I ought to send him a note now and the gift later. And when I write this letter, what should I say to him? Should I say "I have a crush on you"? Or something else?

[Helm]

You should tell him in person. Not being much of a talker will be something he's going to eventually come to terms with. You do not want to sell him on your literary prowess, what good will that do you? Besides, unless you write down something that starts with the words YOUR PENIS ENTERS MY VAGINA or whatever you're probably gonna lose the guy half-way through.

Tossing me a letter that read 'I have a crush on you omg omg don't look at me' and then running away would either look cute to me if I wanted you, or retarded if I didn't, so there's your chances.

[Dole]

Express your crush through the medium of breakdance.

[MetalMilitia]

Originally Posted by Dole

Express your crush through the medium of breakdance.

LMAO. Best post of the day!

[Miss Modular]

Originally Posted by Cosmo Electrolux

tough to do....he's in Greece, I'm in Alabama....

Cosmo's right. He's in the city, I'm stuck in a college town several hours north.

[Terra]

Euw. That's considered long distance, which tends to suck the hairy rod.

How old are both of you?