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Les Waste · #1

At first I was calling it SARS, but now I know it's bad enough that I must have been biten by a prarie dog and I just don't remember it. I've already ejected a metric ton of bloody mucus today from my various orifaces. And in addition to the other symptons that someone who doesn't complain as much as me would attribute to a common cold, I also have a quater-inch wide kankersore right on the inside of my lower lip.

I'm sick as a cancer patient and I have open sores. I really can't think of anything it could be except for monkey pox. At least my claw-hammer wound is healing.

AChimp · #2

Spectre X · #3

is it deadly? Monkey Pox that is. If it is, sucks for you pretty badly man, I hope you don't die.

Jeanette X · #4

SEE A DOCTOR! Holy shit, when you start getting open sores and bloody mucus, its time to get HELP!

Kurodo · #5

Doctor Jeanette.

Les Waste · #6

I don't REALLY have monkey pox. Just a terrible cold and a bunch of canker sores.

I don't know how many people actually have heard about monkey pox. It's all over the news in Wisconsin, but I'd bet people that don't live in the midwest haven't heard about it. Apparently, some guy who runs a pet-store out of his house sold a Gambian rat that had an African disease called monkey pox, and that rat gave it to a bunch of prarie dogs.

I don't know who would want a Gambian rat. Those things are supposed to be 2-feet-long. That's fucked up.

HickMan · #7

Do you really belive that story? It's complete bullshit if you ask me. No such thing as Monkey pox.. It's just a fad.

Jeanette X · #8

Look I don't care you have monkey pox or not, JUST SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR!

Esuohlim · #9

If a rat bit a bunch of dogs, then why the hell call it Monkeypox?

Les Waste · #10

Everytime I go to see a doctor, I wait at least three hours in the waiting room that has nothing to read except pamphlets for the different diseases I might be interested in trying, then instead of seeing a doctor I get examined by some student physician's aid who has no idea what they're doing. Seriously. Once I was positive I had Strepp throat, so I went to the doctor to get me some medicene, but the aid said the strepp test was negative so I must have "a bunch of canker sores" in my throat. This was because she didn't know how to do a strepp test, and I really did have strepp throat. I wish I would have sued or something, but I probably wouldn't have won.

And it's called Monkey pox because the rat that bit the prarie dogs (not regular dogs) either got in a fight with a monkey with the disease while it was still in Africa, or it got bitten by a monkey with the disease, or it ate a monkey with the disease.