Why I'm not allowed to own a gun.

[James]

Remember my monitor problem? No? Well fuck you then, Niggachink McSpic.

Long story short: Monitor display look funny. Me no happy.

I did all the suggested solutions from online support documents from Dell, aside from ones that said to go into my computer and remove cards, and remove drivers.

I talked to my brother (computer genius), to consult with him, and determine what, specifically, the problem would be (video card, other hardware, drivers). We confirmed it's the video card, and I need a new one. It's under warranty, so they should send someone out to replace it.

So me and my brother call up Dell Tech Support. Usually, they're pretty good at helping me when I have a problem. Usually.

RULE #1: IF YOU ARE WORKING FOR A TECHNICAL SUPPORT, YOU SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO SPEAK WITHOUT A THICK INDIAN ACCENT, SO PEOPLE CAN FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU.

RULE #2: IF YOU ARE WORKING FOR A TECHNICAL SUPPORT, YOU SHOULD NOT BE FUCKING RETARDED.

I laid everything out for the lady. I told her all the things I did, and that it's a specific problem with the video card, and I didn't feel comfortable (nor able to, on account of a metal strip blocking the card) touching the hardware inside my computer.

She asks me if I tried (insert something I already told her I did). I say yes. She tells me to reinstall my drivers. My brother butts in, and tells her we already determined it's NOT the drivers, and we shouldn't bother with that. So she tells me to open my computer up, and remove the card. I tell her I can't take the card out, because of a metal strip going across my computer, above the card. Later, after using a bit of force (which I REALLY don't want to use inside a computer), I got the strip to snap out of place and come off. But anyway.

It should also be noted that during this time, I snagged the cord for my mouse while removing all my wires, and it fell, dislocating the wheel, and fucking up my buttons. It's in the garbage now, and I must buy a new one.

She tells me to uninstall my drivers. I give her the benefit of the doubt: Maybe she knows something I don't. Turns out she did - She knows how to fuck up my computer.

I uninstall, restart my computer, and look for the CD to reinstall my drivers. I can't find it (every CD BUT that one). I go online to dowload it, and it asks me for a username and password. She tells me to register (however, I found out later my username and password for my Dell Support account would've worked just fine.

Upon trying to register and reinstall, my computer froze up three times. Trying to use a mouse that was broken wasn't helping either. I told her to hold on while I switched the mouse. I come back to find out we were disconnected. And they can't be bothered to call us back, because we wouldn't be paying for another hour of long distance if she did. Duh.

Finally, we talked to someone else (another Middle Eastern TERRORIST). My brother just basically did all the talking, telling the guy to fuck off with the support, and set up a dispatch (which is why we called in the first place).

Just. Fucking son of a bitch. I'm not going to give them the benefit of the doubt anymore. I call to get something done, and I'll snap their heads off to get it, from now on. No more "Did you try this? Try doing this."

And if I ever have to talk to another funny speaking Middle Eastern cow-worshipping asscock, I'm going to tell them that they can just go right ahead, and put somebody on the phone who I can understand.

I usually don't have problems with tech supports, and they usually help me. Usually.