Contest: Photoshop GISH into a movie poster and win a registered copy!

Tar. It’s been coating our roadways and the lungs of smokers for years. It’s a largely untapped resource when you think about it. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to anyone that a game has been made to glorify the blackest of adhesives (Except of course for Midnight Crazy Glue).

Gish is the story of a heroic 12-pound ball of tar named Lord Piggly. Or Gish, depending on which version of the game you have. While strolling (or whatever it is that tar does. Oozing, I suppose) with his lady friend, Brea, the two were accosted by a mysterious figure, and Brea was hauled off into the sewers. Being as bold as he is black, Gish follows, and finds himself deep within the bowels of the city sewers, hot on the trail of his filched friend. The journey will take him though the sewers, ancient Egyptian tombs, and even the pits of Hell.

To traverse the dangerous subterranean world, you’ll have to navigate perilous pitfalls, narrow tunnels, deadly spikes, crushing pillars, and even a few giant boulders. Herein lies the main selling point of Gish: the game utilizes a realistic physics engine that renders Gish as you’d expect a ball of tar to move (if you’d expect it to move at all, that is).

To that end, you’ll have to use Gish’s tar powers to maneuver the labyrinth. First off, there’s “stick,” useful for climbing up walls, along ceilings, and over enemies. Plus, you can use it grab things and haul them around, like boxes, or skulls, or whatever else tickles your fancy. Next to that is “slide,” which makes you slicker than frozen snot, and is absolutely essential for sliding through tight passages. Last but not least is “heavy.” Gish makes himself really heavy somehow, and can smash through walls, crush his enemies, and even avoid being crushed himself.

Being a giant ball of tar, fighting the forces of evil is no walk in the park, however. For starters, you don’t have any hands, so you can’t use guns or swords or drivable vehicles, or anything like that. I was concerned that this would be a problem, but Gish is still well equipped to fight off baddies.

Smush! That’ll teach those blind razor-toothed albino pigs to oppose Gish! Seriously, I don’t know what the hell those things are, but whatever they are, they’re in your way, and they love the taste of tar. Fortunately for you, they’re about as thick-skinned as water balloons, and a little weight on them (or perhaps a quick lava bath) will turn them into paste.

The eyeless hog creatures have a different skin, dependent on which level you’re in (Five levels total). They aren’t your only threat in the seamy underworld, though.

You’ll also have to contend with a larger type of mutant. Like the smaller variety, they come in a different costume for each level of the game. Unfortunately, they’re a bit more resilient than their diminutive counterparts. You can’t smash these guys completely like you can with the minis. Instead, you have to give their bulbous heads a blow stiff enough to snap their fragile little necks. The end result is that their massive cranium smashes the body beneath, and leaves you with a nifty souvenir.

Heh heh heh. The head doesn’t stay for long, though, which is good because there’s been a few occasions where my reckless neck-snapping has left a head covering an important opening/tunnel.

But of course, what would a game be without bosses?

Here’s a couple of ‘em. There’s five of them (plus the mysterious final boss) and each requires a bit more strategy to defeat them than just pure squishification. Each one even belts out a couple lines of dialogue prior to your fight, to which our stalwart hero responds “…” Sometimes it’s what’s not said that has the most impact.

When you finally beat the game, you can take advantage of the variety of 2-player modes so that you and your friends can finally settle the discussion over who is the better tar manipulator, through gaining the most points, playing a game of soccer, or just a straight-out death match. And if playing with your friends bores you, or if you’re just a friendless loser, you’ll be pleased to know that there are a whole slew of secrets in the single player game. And not just “one-up hidden in a hole”-type secrets either; we’re talking secret levels. Take a look:

Here’s a shot of a level called the Isle of the Dead (note the skulls), arguably the hardest level in the entire game. One that I’ll be trying to beat well after this review has been read and panned by all three of I-Mockery’s readers. (har!)

And here’s a shot of a slightly more familiar setting:

That’s right, the first castle from Super Mario Brothers, complete with secret warp zone.

And that’s not all. Why, the upcoming patch promises even more secret levels, unlockable versus modes, new game modes, and a bunch of other stuff that’ll keep you entertained well beyond your expectations for a road sealant-based game.

And so, in closing, I’d like to make that same plea I make at the end of all my game feature pieces: buy this game. It’s a fun variation of traditional 2d platformers, and it’s a mere twenty bucks. You all can afford that. After all, look at all the money you waste on internet access. So do yourself a favor and put off eating for a day or so and you’ll have enough money to keep yourself in tar-based action for days on end.

Review by:


Dr. Boogie

OH BUT THERE'S MORE!

And now for an interview conducted by -RoG- with the developers of the game:

RoG: What made you decide to make a game about a ball of tar? Did you go through some other ideas for a lead character before you came up with Gish? If so, what were those characters?

Edmund: Well all i sat down one night and basically sketching up some character designs for a flash game i was working on at the time (cereus peashy) and i came up with a little stalky jet black demon with yellow eyes. Later that night the basic idea and design for Gish was done.. and the next day i pitched the idea to the guys at work, the rest is history.

RoG: Describe the process you went through to create the game. Give a breakdown of a regular day on the job.

Edmund: Our day usually starts with coming into work at about 12:30-1pm(AKA Food time) and going out to lunch. After that a usual day is spent trying to find a good multiplayer PC game to play, after we don't find one (or Starcraft crashes) we usually agree that all games these days suck and then go home.

Alex: A usual day while we were finishing up the game would be coming in at noon, working until about 8 or 9, then try to decide which restaurant we haven't eaten at in at least two days. After dinner we would work until about 2 or 3, the go home and try to sleep.

Josiah: I usually come in around 8-10 and enjoy the peace and quite before everyone else arrives. Then I take a long break for lunch, go playing basketball everyday. Throw in some computer games, deleting the 100 spam e-mails and 400 virus e-mails in my inbox and responding to the 5 support e-mails and you can pretty much call it a day. Its a hard job, but someone's has to do it.

RoG: Starcraft eh? Ok, let's hear it. Protoss, Zerg, or Terran?

Edmund: Terran

Alex: Terran

Josiah: Zerg, last game I played with Edmund he accidentally Nuked someone who was on his team, that was the funniest thing I had seen playing Starcraft.

Edmund: I thought they had weapons of mass distraction... woops...

RoG: What was the biggest obstacle you faced in the creation of Gish?

Edmund: Aside from trying to get Alex to understand that it was a good idea, I'd say the biggest obstacle I faced was the repetitive exportation and editing of each any every one of the 700+ frames of animation.

RoG: Looking back on it, if there was one thing you could've added to Gish, what would it be?

Edmund: Well we are still adding new stuff in patches to this day and with an expansion in the works, really we can add anything we want as we go till the game is perfect.

RoG: How did Reagan's death effect the recent release of Gish? Did sales plummet? Did you guys have a crying session?

Alex: Reagan died? Strange, I never saw anything about that, seems like they would've had a tribute or two.

Josiah: NEWS FLASH!!! I just saw on TV that Reagan is still dead!!! Everyone stop what they are doing, its time to morn the greatest man who ever lived, again. Wait can we schedule another group crying session for next Thursday at 4?

RoG: What kind of things can we expect to see in the expansion?

Alex: Well the Terran get a couple new units, the Medic and the Valkyrie, I still stick with the Battlecruiser though.

Edmund: Heh, we are still debating on what to add to the expansion... level editor? online play? more of the same? who knows...

RoG: I could easily see a game like Gish appear on the Gameboy Advance. Any chance we'll ever see that happen?

Alex: Unfortunately the Gameboy Advance doesn't have a fast enough processor to do the kind of physics we do in Gish.

RoG: Ok so Gameboy Advance is ruled out... but what about console systems?

Edmund: You never know.. only time will tell :)

Alex: We're still waiting for a multi-billion dollar exclusive deal.

RoG: How about Gish on the Atari Jaguar? That was a real "powerhouse" if I do say so myself.

Alex: We're doing some market research to see if Gish would appeal to the ten people who bought a Jaguar.

RoG: Talk about some other games that have inspired you guys. What games made you really want to get into making games of your own?

Edmund: Like many, I've also been inspired by the classics Mario, Zelda, Castlevania.. but I don't think I really ever thought about going into game design till after I played doom.

Alex: Some of my favorites are Civilization, X-COM, System Shock, Ultima 4, Red Baron, Falcon 3, Mario and the Id games.

Josiah: Old RPGs like Bards Tale, Ultima 3-5, and the dragon warrior series. Also X-com, and the more recent RPGS like Baulders Gate, and Planescape.

RoG: So how did the unveiling of Gish go at some of the game conventions you've attended? Amidst the huge crowds, were you fondled at all? Did you like it?

Alex: Yes, I was fondled, but only by myself.

Edmund: I was fondled by Alex as well.

RoG: What about Josiah? Didn't anybody fondle him?

Josiah: I wasn't so lucky.

RoG: Any chance the Chronic Logic site is gonna get a redesign? The Gish Game site looks absolutely badass, while Chronic Logic looks more like it was made using a $10 template.

Josiah: The Chronic Logic site may get a re-design, but it wont look like the Gish site. You may notice that the Gish site has not been updated in a month, that is because none of us know flash well enough to change it, so its just stuck in its absolutely badass state.

RoG: Excuse me gentlemen, do you happen to have any spare change?

Alex: Yes

Josiah: We are indies

RoG: It's secret time. I know you guys hid some stuff in the game that most people don't know about. It's time to spill the beans. Share some hidden goodies with us that you haven't told other people about yet.

Edmund: Level 2-1 holds a nice treat for retro Atari fans... that's all ill say. The next patch will hold a few more super secret warp zones, along with unlockable bonuses, game modes and a few extremely cool secret codes.

RoG: What other games have you worked on? Have any upcoming game projects?

Edmund: I did some of the art for Triptich and Bridge construction set when i joined the team a year ago, as far as up coming projects go I am working on another 2d side-scroller called Cereus Pea-Shy and of course the expansion for Gish.

Alex: I've worked on Pontifex, Triptych, Bridge Construction Set, Word Peace and Gish. My next project is so secret even I don't know what it is.

Josiah: I worked on Triptych, Bridge Construction Set, I helped a bit with Bridge It and Word Peace.

RoG: Will there be a sequel to Gish?

Edmund: Did jesus wear a diaper?

RoG: Will there be a prequel to Gish?

Alex: Yes, it will be called Gish: Episode I, the story will be based around a new character, Tar Tar Binks. Ironically, he will not be computer generated, he will be based on full motion video of Steven Segal in a bean bag chair.

RoG: Will there be a prequel to the sequel of Gish?

Edmund: Fuck you.

***BONUS CONTEST!***

THIS CONTEST HAS ENDED!

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE WINNERS!

Once again, we're happy to announce another contest. This time, the tar-tastic people at Chronic Logic have been kind enough to offer up some sweet GISH prizes - a fully registered copy of the game and some Gish t-shirts! So what do you have to do in order to win this schnazzy stuff? It's simple. You need to use your photoshopping skills to put Gish into a movie poster of your choice. As if Gish isn't easy enough to draw, we're providing you with some different Gish character action shots that you can use:

[click here to download the full-sized version of these characters]

Of course you're not limited to use just those character shots, do whatever you like! Pretty easy huh? So go pick out your favorite movie poster and "GISHIFY" it! Here's an example of what we're talking about:

EMAIL YOUR ENTRIES TO: webmaster@i-mockery.com

RULES & INFO:

• All entries must be received by AUGUST 22ND, 2004. Contest results and all of the entries will be posted for all to see shortly after that date on this page.

• Pictures should NOT exceed 500k

• Entries are going to be judged on humor and creativity.

• ANYBODY can enter, you don't have to be an amazing artist to win (though if you have the skills, you're more than welcome to draw your own custom version of a GISH movie poster). GISH is fairly easy to draw as it is, and we've even provided you with some various shots of him in action. So it shouldn't be too hard for you to come up with a GISH movie poster parody

• Enter as many times as you like, there is no limit.

• 1st place receives a registered copy of GISH on CD signed by the creators!
  

• Second place entry will receive a GISH t-shirt!

• Third place entry will receive 3 I-Mockery Stickers of his/her choice!

THIS CONTEST HAS ENDED!

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE WINNERS!

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