friend Jim Silva over at Totally Screwed Software is no slouch. In the
few short years that he and the rest of the gang at TSS have been
making games, heís managed to turn out the gore-o-rific tribute to
River City Ransom that is Zombie Smashers X, the epic
party-based slaughter fest that is Blood Zero, and the guns-ablaziní
zombie holocaust that is Survival Crisis Z. Now,
though, it is time for us to get back to the basics, and look back
upon the game that first won Jim the acclaim of countless gaming
publications and homoerotic humor websites such as this one: the
original Zombie Smashers X.
The plot was simple enough: there are zombies (and others) that need
smashing, so get to it. And it was a good game. A great game, in fact.
The fans clambered for more; more zombies, more ninjas, more blood,
more everything! Well folks, Iím tickled pink to announce that your
prayers and bestial howls have been answered with the sequel to the
game that made you wax nostalgic even as you were decapitating the
undead. Presenting, Zombie Smashers X2.
personally, didnít have a problem with the plot of the first ZSX being
summed up as simply ďkill,Ē but ZSX2 comes with a plot that unfolds as
you play; a grisly tale full of zombie raves, killer robots, magic,
and the internet. The principal players in this gory story are five,
distilled from the original ten from ZSX:
left, Punker, Chelsea, Hiro, Rudy, and Maybey. As in the first ZSX,
each character starts with one of the many special abilities, such as
a punch combo and a neck-breaker, and the rest can be ďlearnedĒ by
getting tattoos. However, unlike the first game, the skills have been
divided into seven different disciplines. The Crusher tree gives you
some interesting things to do with enemies that have been knocked
down; the Kung Fu tree gives you lightning-fast punches and aids your
blocking; but for my money, the one of the most useful moves you can
perform comes from the Assassin tree. Fans of the first ZSX will
recall the Heartbreaker, a delightful coup de grace in which you rip
out your opponentís heart and eat it. In that spirit, the highest
Assassin tier will bestow upon you a move called the Spine Removal:
spine removal is somewhat impressive. However, the Spine Removal move
not only kills your foe; it lets you keep his spine as a freakiní
weapon! And let me tell you, that column of vertebrates is one of the
deadliest melee weapons you can get your hands on. Just donít let one
fall into the hands of the enemy. A backbone bludgeoning is among the
quickest ways to wind up back in town with half your money gone.
discipline has three different levels. To obtain the highest level,
youíll need to undertake quests for different people, running the
gamut from fetching a loaf of bread to quelling a horde of angry
ninjas. Why, thereís even a celebrity quest-giver in the game:
Ackbar, or rather Sea Captain Ackbar! After you bust the heads of some
local mummies, Ackbar gives you the greatest gift anyone can receive.
No, not the laughter of a child. Magic.
bloody your fists and feet, a magic gauge will slowly charge, and when
itís full, you can input a few key combinations to unleash untold
carnage upon your foes. Ackbar gives you the ability to slow time, and
youíll gain other spells as you complete other quests. Thereís even a
spell that will let you magic up an uzi for yourself.
Thatís right; in addition to boxes, frying pans, pipes, and heads,
youíll find a number of guns in the game as well. Reloading is out of
the question, but fortunately, an empty gun is still handy for bashing
those enemies who didnít submit to a steady stream of bullets. You can
even bring the action back to town with you and start trouble there.
As you can see, Johnny Law is not about to sit tight and let you gun
down the part of the populace that isnít out for your blood. And boy,
those cops pack a wallop that rivals the damage from a pointblank
shotgun blast. Still, itís always fun to see how many you can pummel
before they bring your ass down.
in between killing and questing, there are a few mini games here and
there that you can try. The very first town has a basketball court
where you can challenge zombies and local folk to a game of Combat
like regular basketball, except that the ball is slightly larger and
fouls are encouraged. Also, there arenít any lucrative endorsement
deals if youíre good at it, so thatís a bummer.
Your journey isnít limited to dusty crypts and nameless towns. This
time around, youíll get to travel the world, traveling to such exotic
locales as France.
just as I imagined it, only with less accordion music. Then again, all
I have to go on are old Bugs Bunny cartoons. Anyway, if France isnít
your cup of tea, or fromage, youíll also be headed to other nifty
places, including beaches, fancy office buildings, and even the moon!
And also junkyards, crypts, and forests, but itís hard to get excited
about that when you get to go to the frigging moon.
Also new to the series are some ska, punk, and hardcore bands
providing the music by which zombies are smashed. Of course, some of
you may not view this soundtrack as an improvement. Well donít you worry; you can
create your own custom music playlist to properly set the mood.
I feel like killing something.
As you can see, ZSX2 has been crammed with new features without losing
any of the mindless fun of the original. Stay tuned for ZSX3, which
will feature time travel, dune buggies, jetpacks, dinosaurs, home
ownership, ballroom dancing, and even more ninjas. Or maybe just more
zombie smashing fun. Til then, hereís a shot from a trip I took to the
to the spiffy bastards at Totally Screwed Software, we're able to give
you the opportunity to win the full version of Zombie Smashers X2! Yep,
they're offering a free registration code to anybody who wins our
contest. And what contest is that?
again, you need
to draw a zombie.... and then smash it. Smash it it the bloodiest,
goriest, cruelest way you can possibly imagine. All entries must
have before and after shots of the zombie! All entries will be put
up on the site for everybody to see! And the winner of the contest
will get a free registration code for Zombie Smashers X2 so he/or she
can play the full version of the game!
all there is to it! Email your entries (or links to your entries) to:
entries must be received by July 31st 2005.
Contest results and all of the entries will be posted
for all to see shortly after that.
forget, you need to send in a "before" and "after" picture of your
zombie. (ie: pre-smashed and post-smashed versions)
Pictures should not exceed 500k
Animated .gifs and Flash .swf animations are acceptable too.
Entries are going to be judged on humor, creativity, blood, and gore.
ANYBODY can enter, you don't have to be an amazing artist to win.
Winning entry receives a free registration code for Zombie Smashers X2!
That's all there is
to it! So start coming up with some twisted zombies and smash 'em!
send in your entries before the
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