We recently heard
about this huge-assed Halloween store in California called
"Halloween Club" and how it was pretty much one of the largest
spooky supplies places in the entire country. That's pretty much all
it took to convince me that a drive down to the place was in
order... and sure enough, it was massive!
Impressive eh? As you
can imagine, I left that place with more Halloween stuff than any
human being should ever dare try to fit into a tiny little Honda
Civic. It really looked as though a bunch of orange Halloween bags
had hijacked the car. Well aside from all the things I did buy,
there were some things I didn't but still felt they had to be
I'm speaking of all
the cheap rip-off/knock-off costumes for people who don't want to
pay money to get the officially licensed stuff or make the costumes
themselves. Believe me, with their huge aisles upon aisles of
costumes that seemed to go on forever, there were bound to be a few
gems in the mix. So here's a little gallery of the hilariously bad
rip-off costumes that I was able to take photos of before they
bitched at me for using a camera in their store. Guess they didn't
want their trade secret of carrying crappy costumes, in addition to
awesome ones, getting leaked out to the public.
Look out! It's "Overalls"
the killer! It's your typical Michael Myers jumpsuit without
actually calling it that. And how about that face, eh? This one is
so cheap that they didn't even buy a Michael Myers Halloween mask,
they just painted his face white instead. It claims to be made of
flame resistant fabric, but if you go out looking like this guy, I
guarantee you will get flamed by every single passerby.
Uh oh, it's the Night
Killer! They didn't even call it "nightmare" killer for chrissakes.
Somehow I doubt New Line Cinema has a copyright on the word
"nightmare" so that nobody else can use it. So what's up with his
hand? It's as if they're saying, "Uh, we couldn't afford the
Freddy glove prop, but just use your imagination here. Pretend he's
got razor fingers, yeah!" Gotta also love how the patches of
soot around his face makes him look more like a coal miner than some
guy who was burned alive.
Bahaha! Looks like
they gave it another shot! It's still the exact same costume (well,
it's a shirt), only this time they called it "Nightmare Killer"
instead of "Night Killer" and they gave him a hat! And what, they
still couldn't afford to buy a Freddy glove? Awww. I love the look
of hopelessness on the poor bastard's face too. I guarantee you,
this isn't something he'll be including in his modeling portfolio.
So what's this company's motto anyway? If at first you don't
succeed, fail and fail again? Classic.
Want to be Austin
Powers, but can't afford it? Don't worry, you can dress up as
"Groovy Guy" instead this year and nobody will be the wiser! Well,
they might mistake you for Elton John or something, but still,
that's close enough I suppose.
Ah, Pirates of the
Caribbean! Er... pardon me... Caribbean Pirate. So what
exactly makes this guy a Caribbean Pirate? The fact that they have
him standing in a place that may or may not be in the Caribbean?
Surely he's come ashore to find his buried treasure. But it's not
gold that has been buried, it's his dignity. Then again, I suppose
he still has more dignity than this pirate.
Gee, what movie
could've inspired these costumes? I don't know, I just... don't
know. Oh wait, I know! They must be from Bruce Lee's "Game of Death"
right? I knew it!
Oh wait no, that would
be this costume. Say, when did Beatrix Kiddo use nun-chucks in the
movie while wearing high heels? Was that one of the deleted scenes?
Furthermore, I don't think I've ever seen nun-chucks with such a
long chain before. I guess that's just how they make 'em down on
So is Lara Croft going
into outer space sometime in the near future, because that's exactly
what this costume seems to be implying. Just stick a astronaut
helmet on her head and she'll be ready to blast off! Calling all
tomb-o-nauts. Now boarding for flight 542 departing to Planet
Funny how their "Handy
Man" resembles a plumber from a certain Nintendo video game series.
Though, in all honesty, I probably would pay more if there was a
handy man service that actually sent people dressed up like Mario
and Luigi to my home to repair things.
And that's all the
cheap knock-off costumes I was able to photograph before I had to
put the camera away. There's more of them out there though, so if
you find one, by all means, send me a picture of it and I'll try to
add it to this gallery!