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Rip-off Costumes!

We recently heard about this huge-assed Halloween store in California called "Halloween Club" and how it was pretty much one of the largest spooky supplies places in the entire country. That's pretty much all it took to convince me that a drive down to the place was in order... and sure enough, it was massive!

Oooooooo heaven is a place on earth

Impressive eh? As you can imagine, I left that place with more Halloween stuff than any human being should ever dare try to fit into a tiny little Honda Civic. It really looked as though a bunch of orange Halloween bags had hijacked the car. Well aside from all the things I did buy, there were some things I didn't but still felt they had to be written about.

costumes as far as the eye can see!

I'm speaking of all the cheap rip-off/knock-off costumes for people who don't want to pay money to get the officially licensed stuff or make the costumes themselves. Believe me, with their huge aisles upon aisles of costumes that seemed to go on forever, there were bound to be a few gems in the mix. So here's a little gallery of the hilariously bad rip-off costumes that I was able to take photos of before they bitched at me for using a camera in their store. Guess they didn't want their trade secret of carrying crappy costumes, in addition to awesome ones, getting leaked out to the public.

Nice Shatner mask there, sport

Look out! It's "Overalls" the killer! It's your typical Michael Myers jumpsuit without actually calling it that. And how about that face, eh? This one is so cheap that they didn't even buy a Michael Myers Halloween mask, they just painted his face white instead. It claims to be made of flame resistant fabric, but if you go out looking like this guy, I guarantee you will get flamed by every single passerby.

What? Can't you see my glove?

Uh oh, it's the Night Killer! They didn't even call it "nightmare" killer for chrissakes. Somehow I doubt New Line Cinema has a copyright on the word "nightmare" so that nobody else can use it. So what's up with his hand? It's as if they're saying, "Uh, we couldn't afford the Freddy glove prop, but just use your imagination here. Pretend he's got razor fingers, yeah!" Gotta also love how the patches of soot around his face makes him look more like a coal miner than some guy who was burned alive.

I've got a hat now! SCARY!

Bahaha! Looks like they gave it another shot! It's still the exact same costume (well, it's a shirt), only this time they called it "Nightmare Killer" instead of "Night Killer" and they gave him a hat! And what, they still couldn't afford to buy a Freddy glove? Awww. I love the look of hopelessness on the poor bastard's face too. I guarantee you, this isn't something he'll be including in his modeling portfolio. So what's this company's motto anyway? If at first you don't succeed, fail and fail again? Classic.

NO BABY!

Want to be Austin Powers, but can't afford it? Don't worry, you can dress up as "Groovy Guy" instead this year and nobody will be the wiser! Well, they might mistake you for Elton John or something, but still, that's close enough I suppose.

YAAAAAAAAR! WHERE BE MY DIGNITY?

Ah, Pirates of the Caribbean! Er... pardon me... Caribbean Pirate. So what exactly makes this guy a Caribbean Pirate? The fact that they have him standing in a place that may or may not be in the Caribbean? Surely he's come ashore to find his buried treasure. But it's not gold that has been buried, it's his dignity. Then again, I suppose he still has more dignity than this pirate.

BLACK... MAMBAAAAAAAAAAA

Gee, what movie could've inspired these costumes? I don't know, I just... don't know. Oh wait, I know! They must be from Bruce Lee's "Game of Death" right? I knew it!

Nice boobs there, Beatrix.

Oh wait no, that would be this costume. Say, when did Beatrix Kiddo use nun-chucks in the movie while wearing high heels? Was that one of the deleted scenes? Furthermore, I don't think I've ever seen nun-chucks with such a long chain before. I guess that's just how they make 'em down on Leg Avenue.

Been raiding tombs on the moon, have we?

So is Lara Croft going into outer space sometime in the near future, because that's exactly what this costume seems to be implying. Just stick a astronaut helmet on her head and she'll be ready to blast off! Calling all tomb-o-nauts. Now boarding for flight 542 departing to Planet Failure.

It's a me, MARIO!

Funny how their "Handy Man" resembles a plumber from a certain Nintendo video game series. Though, in all honesty, I probably would pay more if there was a handy man service that actually sent people dressed up like Mario and Luigi to my home to repair things.

And that's all the cheap knock-off costumes I was able to photograph before I had to put the camera away. There's more of them out there though, so if you find one, by all means, send me a picture of it and I'll try to add it to this gallery!

ORLY?

-RoG-
 


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