Please don't feed PickleMan
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Audition was shown to me without my having any prior knowledge of it whatsoever. I saw it when it first came out on video and my friend simply said, "You've gotta see this," with an innocent smile. So I figured "what the hell" and sat down and watched it. Little did I know I was in for one hell of a horrific mindfuck.

we gonna see da pwetty ladies huhuhuh!

The story behind the movie seems simple enough; a lonely Japanese widower, Aoyama, decides to attend an audition in which women try out for a part in a non-existent movie. What they don't realize is that they're actually trying out for a part in Aoyama's pants.


Girl after girl goes by, and Aoyama seems to be bored out of his mind. And then, she shows up. Yamazaki Asami is a very reserved, quiet person... yet Aoyama can't help but being completely intrigued by her. And that's all it takes. He's clearly fallen for her hook, line, and sinker. And man oh man, is he about to sink.

Please tell me that's a lot of outgoing mail in that sack and not a body

After informing her that he'll call her back, we see some extremely disturbing shots of her simply sitting on the floor, waiting by the phone. It's almost as if she's willing it to ring with all of her strength. How long has she been there? Days? Weeks? Who knows, the girl is clearly off her rocker. And let's not forget that big sack in the background. Yes indeed, that's where she keeps her special deformed friend... whom she feeds vomit to.


After more and more bizarre sequences, we finally reach the climax of the movie in which Asami has spiked Aoyama's drink with a paralyzing agent. She informs him that he can't move his body, but he can still feel pain. Lots and lots of pain.

Dressed in rubber glove and a rubber apron (hey, why splatter blood on that nice white dress, right?) she begins to torture him by sticking needles into his chest. While he's in complete agony, all she does is smile with glee. It's creepy as hell. Further more, whenever she sticks a needle in she says "Deeper, deeper..." But in Japanese, it sounds like she's really saying "Kitty, kitty..." over and over again.

So yeah, now anytime I hear somebody call for their cat, "Here kitty kitty kitty!" I get a little bit nervous and make sure there's no needles in sight. Thanks Audition!

Could you possibly be enjoying that any more?

Well, after she's done sticking needles in his eyes and torso, she busts out a wire that is capable of sawing through flesh and bone with ease. It appears to be her favorite lil' toy because she's smiling more than ever now. Oh and what exactly is she sawing off?

Does Dr. Scholl's have anything to help this kind of foot pain?

Aoyama's foot. After all, if she cuts off his foot, he'll never be able to walk out on her. And why would he want to? She's clearly quite a catch.

Congrats Aoyama! She's all yours!

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a horrible night indeed! :o